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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that while I see a therapist for my trust issues, my husband sleeps with our nanny. FML

#13885002
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43344) - you deserved it (3469)

On 11/18/2010 at 4:23am - intimacy - by nevergonnatrust -

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

#13884860
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31996) - you deserved it (2564)

On 11/18/2010 at 3:37am - misc - by race (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife of seven years told me that she doesn't trust me with dog-sitting her dog while she leaves to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's with her family. She ended up calling someone she "trusts" to take care of her dog while I spend the holidays by myself. FML

#13884147
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29698) - you deserved it (4369)

On 11/18/2010 at 1:44am - animals - by nottrustworthy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML

#13883549
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (3883)

On 11/18/2010 at 12:04am - health - by twice-a-day (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently somebody saw me, I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML

#13883371
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (26586)

On 11/17/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36534) - you deserved it (19001)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

mlleangelique's comment : Oh noes! You're seeing someone who doesn't fit ridiculously narrowly-defined stereotypes about what it means to be male! Poor you!

See all the comments →

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

#13881545
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (3276)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm - misc - by embarrassed -

Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML

#13880762
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (2925)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

#13879750
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (8552)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (7866)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44480) - you deserved it (13143)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face than tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

#13876582
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35010) - you deserved it (7483)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:02pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

#13876258
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28235) - you deserved it (11605)

On 11/17/2010 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by bottomdrawerraider (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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