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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he played with and named my boobs. Complete with a full skit where "Maxie" killed "Nathanial." FML

#10707912
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (7638)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:10am - intimacy - by Maxie-Nathanial - United States

Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found out that he had a girlfriend while he was inside me. FML

#10707896
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (6634)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:08am - intimacy - by coltsfoot (woman) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, after doing a graveyard shift at work, I took the bus home. I fell asleep on the way and woke up 25 miles away from my bus stop. I took another bus heading back and couldn't stay awake. I then woke up where I started from. FML

#10707019
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30912) - you deserved it (13094)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:29am - work - by Around - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

#10706992
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23801) - you deserved it (9515)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by EmbarrassedDaughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at dentist to get impressions made. The hygienist put way too much of the plaster stuff on the press. She put it in my mouth and asked if I was okay, I shook my head no and promptly vomited. It sat at the back of my throat and I could not spit it out until the plaster hardened. FML

#10705842
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35993) - you deserved it (2679)

On 05/23/2010 at 2:08am - health - by gpistas - United States

Today, I was feeling very ill after a severe anxiety attack. I asked my boyfriend to hold my hand until I fell asleep. He said he couldn't because he needed both hands to play on his gameboy. FML

#10705425
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34448) - you deserved it (6739)

On 05/23/2010 at 1:47am - love - by vikingunicorn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML

#10705100
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36374) - you deserved it (8839)

On 05/23/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working as a counsellor at a special needs camp when one of the parents came up to my friend and asked her what my disorder was. FML

#10699156
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26664) - you deserved it (3009)

On 05/22/2010 at 9:24pm - misc - by *sigh* - United States (Indiana)

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

#10696817
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33537) - you deserved it (14628)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

#10696797
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15794) - you deserved it (43462)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

#10693899
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (6859)

On 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm - animals - by lashless (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I drove 6 hours to make a job interview missing my best friends' wedding. The interview is actually tomorrow. FML

#10684550
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12002) - you deserved it (43196)

On 05/22/2010 at 4:08am - work - by poncho31 - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

#10684466
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8243) - you deserved it (29413)

On 05/22/2010 at 3:56am - money - by TheComputerGuy96 (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)



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