Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

#5839165
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20569) - you deserved it (2161)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:16am - animals - by birdhater (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

#5839151
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31957) - you deserved it (3055)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Em - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was involved in a wreck. How quickly did the police arrive at the scene? Very quickly, considering he was the one who rear-ended me at a red light. FML

#5837946
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26617) - you deserved it (1645)

On 10/14/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by gooddriver (woman) - United States

Today, I just let out all my feeling for a woman that I have loved for 22 years. When I finished she said "You're so funny" and walked away. FML

#5835867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30589) - you deserved it (5579)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by diskdude13 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML

#5835840
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29138) - you deserved it (5931)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

#5832745
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19430) - you deserved it (3013)

On 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by newscomes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I accepted a great job offer I've been working months to earn so I can continue to live with my fiancé here in Poland. I just found out that my work visa was denied. Now I have to fly home to Canada and reapply before coming back. This takes a month. My new job starts tomorrow. FML

Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

#5831331
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9810) - you deserved it (22828)

On 10/14/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was listening to music, talking to a boy I like on MSN. He asked if I could share the song I was listening to, so I did. It wasn't until I had shared and fully transferred it did I realise it was actually the fake radio show I record on my own, in a phoney Australian accent. All 6 minutes of it. FML

#5830310
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7978) - you deserved it (32980)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I walked into a T-Mobile store to get a new phone. I wanted all of my numbers on my new phone, but the customer service rep had to transfer them. He said jokingly, "I understand. You don't want to lose your girlfriend's number." My girlfriend and I broke up two days ago. FML

#5829686
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23241) - you deserved it (6902)

On 10/14/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a woman yelled at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently, no one informed her of this. FML

#5829001
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (2010)

On 10/14/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by creepystalkerguy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87364) - you deserved it (14602)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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