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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, me, a coworker, and my manager were looking at random advertisements. One ad was a picture of three fishes. My coworker named the three fishes what I thought were completely random names. I said "those are stupid names." Turns out those are my manager's kid's names. FML

#6348891
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7462) - you deserved it (27034)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41617) - you deserved it (1788)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was waiting at an intersection. Across from me, a car was approaching and a bunny ran out. Trying to save it, I flashed my lights and beeped at the car crazily, when the bunny turned around. The lights turned, and as I drove forward the bunny came back out and I hit it. FML

#6346193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20984) - you deserved it (6630)

On 11/17/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

#6344201
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11777) - you deserved it (32711)

On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said "how would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

#6343049
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23631) - you deserved it (3447)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by shellbom (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

#6342869
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32396) - you deserved it (11513)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by fmfl (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML

#6342558
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (9043)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

#6342074
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25993) - you deserved it (5125)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I heard a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML

#6340550
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22590) - you deserved it (6551)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:56am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML

#6340257
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11709) - you deserved it (34295)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML

Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML

#6340029
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8033) - you deserved it (24439)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:32am - misc - by Spiller (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was minding a 6-year old boy. He begged me to take him somewhere. I rang his Mum, and she said I could. He picked to go to McDonald's. He ordered chicken. After his meal, he told me he was vegetarian, and wanted to try some meat while his Mum wasn't around. I got the blame. FML

#6339843
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32727) - you deserved it (3778)

On 11/17/2009 at 9:50am - kids - by NewlyChildaphobic (woman) - Ireland (Cork)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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