Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And i was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67774) - you deserved it (3655)
On 04/21/2009 at 4:32am - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (75198)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10007) - you deserved it (51024)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I told my girlfriend I was quitting the town baseball team. She said "Great. Now we can get someone with actual talent on the team." I laughed because I thought she was joking. She then replied "What's so funny?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (4463)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by xxbobsan - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44585) - you deserved it (23339)
On 04/21/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was babysitting, I had put the kids to bed, and I was in the kitchen raiding the fridge when I hear the front door open. There I am in front of the fridge holding a bottle of wine to get to the whipped cream in the back of the fridge. Now my neighbors think I'm an alcoholic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33651) - you deserved it (6468)
On 04/21/2009 at 12:10am - health - by babyshit - United States
Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10626) - you deserved it (47638)
On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44613) - you deserved it (18356)
On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11429) - you deserved it (102696)
On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was going home with the tomato plant I just bought in my cup holder. The smell of it was filling the car and I love the smell so I picked it up and took a wiff. A few moments later I got pulled over. Apparantly, the cop saw me sniff it and thought I was smelling a marijuana plant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39019) - you deserved it (5837)
On 04/20/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I bought a $1.09 burrito from taco bell with my debit card, unfortunately my overdraft fee was $25. I spent $26.01 on a burrito. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18736) - you deserved it (44175)
On 04/20/2009 at 9:20pm - money - by anon. (woman) - United States
Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33686) - you deserved it (5352)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37739) - you deserved it (9634)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Tor (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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