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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seieng for a couple of weeks, he kept saying looool things lyk "I want u so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

#7753113
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17286) - you deserved it (3244)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced mah leg open. Why? I jumped off mah bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned looool to Miss Vrginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

#7744599
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7682) - you deserved it (30440)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today looool I realized wat all te women I've been wit ave in common: Craigslist. FML

#7743505
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6770) - you deserved it (25245)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24371) - you deserved it (3183)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For bieng the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, mah shirt stolen, and I was locked outside 4 half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19781) - you deserved it (34339)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

yesterday I was standing in a queue wen an old lady turned, looked straigt at me, an asked me to old er bag . Confused, I took a old of it . Se started screaming 4 elp claiming I was stealing er sopping . Turns out, se was talking to er usband biend me . FML

#7739701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27827) - you deserved it (2970)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by bthms - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister an her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend cummed up an said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. mega FML

#7738687
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31481) - you deserved it (2339)

On 01/31/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching a horror movie with girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (12389)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in the car with mah cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while mah cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. big fat FML

#7732891
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6254) - you deserved it (83485)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

kittiekat's comment : you are a total asshole

See all the comments →

Today, my girlfriend and I were in my basement. I play drums and guitar very well. My girlfriend bet me $50 that she could play better than me. I made the bet, but what I didn't know was that she had been taking both drum and guitar lessons since she was 5. I just lost $50. FML

#7732713
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7265) - you deserved it (40127)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:54am - love - by unknown - Sent from mobile version

Today , my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumpd into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac , two large fries , a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

#7732342
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21213) - you deserved it (32577)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:44am - love - by tammy999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, mah sister askd me if any of mah family members had commentd on mah recent weight gain . I told her no not really . Her reply? "They must just being saying it behind your back then." FML

#7729865
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:38am - health - by lilsis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... My Boyfriend Of 6 Months Asked Me To Spend The Night At His Apartment For The Frst Time. I Had To Poop Really Bad When I Got There... So I Used His Only Bathroom. He Went After Me... And Came Out A Few Seconds Later... Gagging. Apparently... I Clogged His Toilet. FML

#7728749
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29247) - you deserved it (6246)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Texas)



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