Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

#13886918
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27510) - you deserved it (7463)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

#13886809
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32893) - you deserved it (5716)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

#13886609
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23857) - you deserved it (9570)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by alltimelove -

Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML

#13885565
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (2758)

On 11/18/2010 at 7:12am - work - by pukishgirl (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I found out that while I see a therapist for my trust issues, my husband sleeps with our nanny. FML

#13885002
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43342) - you deserved it (3468)

On 11/18/2010 at 4:23am - intimacy - by nevergonnatrust -

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

#13884860
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31993) - you deserved it (2564)

On 11/18/2010 at 3:37am - misc - by race (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife of seven years told me that she doesn't trust me with dog-sitting her dog while she leaves to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's with her family. She ended up calling someone she "trusts" to take care of her dog while I spend the holidays by myself. FML

#13884147
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29588) - you deserved it (4362)

On 11/18/2010 at 1:44am - animals - by nottrustworthy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML

#13883549
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35241) - you deserved it (3882)

On 11/18/2010 at 12:04am - health - by twice-a-day (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently somebody saw me, I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML

#13883371
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17096) - you deserved it (26579)

On 11/17/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36532) - you deserved it (18997)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

mlleangelique's comment : Oh noes! You're seeing someone who doesn't fit ridiculously narrowly-defined stereotypes about what it means to be male! Poor you!

See all the comments →

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

#13881545
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (3276)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm - misc - by embarrassed -

Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML

#13880762
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31886) - you deserved it (2919)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

#13879750
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34571) - you deserved it (8552)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: