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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML

#6049425
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10492) - you deserved it (27113)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML

#6048206
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6921) - you deserved it (106191)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm - health - by mintyfresh (man) - United States (California)

biancagolden's comment : That is actually disgusting. Also, of course YDI. Yuck.

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Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML

#6046125
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26696) - you deserved it (3813)

On 10/28/2009 at 9:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML

#6045813
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16678) - you deserved it (2736)

On 10/28/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by LadySteph12 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML

#6043300
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12912) - you deserved it (54756)

On 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by R (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

#6042161
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9003) - you deserved it (82872)

On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

mylifeisfuckedd's comment : asssshole you totallllyy deserved it

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Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not." FML

#6041227
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34194) - you deserved it (2767)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:19pm - work - by uglyyyyy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

#6040415
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (31208)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by Moody (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

sonicmega's comment : Well, that sucks. And blows. And swallows.

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Today, my fiancée and I were going on our honeymoon. Our flight was delayed by two hours. It landed when our connecting flight to St. Lucia was taking off. The airline said they were holding the flight for us, so we sprinted from D gate to A, in time to watch the plane pull away. FML

#6040297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32213) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Gw (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10820) - you deserved it (79621)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that girls don't like it when you pass out from carrying them to the bed. What they DO like, is telling all their friends. FML

#6039295
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (8291)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:07pm - love - by thatguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I noticed a spot of water on the floor. I thought my cats had spilled a cup of water and didn't worry about it. I went to a meeting and when I came back, my entire apartment was flooded with 3 inches of water. FML

#6038699
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29122) - you deserved it (6250)

On 10/28/2009 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, we finally got our first electricity bill for our new flat. I was shocked to see that we had used £60 worth of electricity in 6 weeks. Then I noticed that it was only an estimate, and that we could read the meter ourselves to correct the amount. We now have to pay nearly £400. FML

#6038057
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22526) - you deserved it (6781)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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