by Username / 08/01/2011 at 12:41am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 12:28am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, my ex-boyfriend's attempt to win me back involved standing at the bottom of my apartment building with two airhorns, blasting them and shouting. And for some reason, singing "Sweet Caroline", even though that's not my name. FML
by notsomuch / 07/31/2011 at 11:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love
by preggo / 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Rico_Mal1116's comment : Go with the flow all ways works.
Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
by MikeMorin18 / 07/31/2011 at 8:07pm / United States / Work
raider27's comment : Can't she get into trouble for hitting a co-worker?
Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML
by username / 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
CryMoreFMLs's comment : Why men are more worried about cars then girls I don't know. Doesn't make sense to me.
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
by iannie / 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by brebre101 / 07/31/2011 at 5:05am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by isucksomuch / 07/31/2011 at 2:18am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by The Joker? / 07/31/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Iowa) / Health
Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML
by Tireddddddd / 07/31/2011 at 1:45am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by creepedout / 07/31/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Intimacy
by James / 07/31/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…