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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML

#6599049
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (2913)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML

#6599042
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6318) - you deserved it (41193)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by mainlaw (man) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML

#6598965
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11931) - you deserved it (30963)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:23pm - animals - by oops (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I set off a fire alarm in school. I was taken to the head teacher's office, where he said that though he was shocked at my behavior, it was nice to see me being more like regular students and trying to fit in, instead of isolating myself as usual. I was shoved into the fire alarm by bullies. FML

#6598474
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38528) - you deserved it (2578)

On 12/04/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by tawan - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he says: "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

#6596856
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20394) - you deserved it (6097)

On 12/04/2009 at 7:48am - intimacy - by Not-so-sexy - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML

#6596310
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23732) - you deserved it (2296)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:35am - money - by anon - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the electrician came because our kitchen light has been flickering. After examining the installation, he screws the lightbulb tighter in the socket. My parents both are PhDs. FML

#6596231
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25362) - you deserved it (7277)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:16am - kids - by PhDdaughter (woman) - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, I had to take a test that's required to pass the class. The test administor told us that those of us who were wearing hoodies would have to take them off. I would have taken mine off, but I was only wearing a bra underneath. There's no other days I can reschedule the test. FML

#6595557
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31757) - you deserved it (12822)

On 12/04/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by wearashirt (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

#6594787
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (2486)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:27am - work - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was informed after submitting my request to have Christmas off about 2 weeks prior to Thanksgiving that I was denied. About 15 minutes later, I overheard the person that denied my request talking with another agent, who put their request in today, that they were granted the holiday off. FML

#6594646
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25252) - you deserved it (1716)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

#6594462
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37014) - you deserved it (4625)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, at my school, we had the opening night of our production in which I act. None of my family or friends came. Basically, after 3 long months of hard work, the only person to "congratulate" to me after the show was the head of the theater department, who just wanted to tell me I was doing it wrong. FML

#6594222
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22534) - you deserved it (3309)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by drama_queen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

#6594028
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9997) - you deserved it (29485)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)



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