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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

#12061859
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26906) - you deserved it (10400)

On 07/23/2010 at 8:59am - love - by justmyluck25 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. Beautiful, smart, academic, charming, a true gentlemen, totally my type. I am at a bar voted "the best gay bar in the world". FML

#12059383
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25890) - you deserved it (16510)

On 07/23/2010 at 3:39am - love - by V - United States

Today, while taking pictures by the pool, my friend wanted to use my camera. I told her to put the wrist strap on so it wouldn't fall into the pool. She dropped the camera while trying to put the strap on. FML

#12057570
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (5172)

On 07/23/2010 at 1:58am - misc - by Me. - United States (Texas)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35903) - you deserved it (15363)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

#12049676
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33297) - you deserved it (4209)

On 07/22/2010 at 7:14pm - love - by coffee_princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I lied to a group of 8 year olds about having a boyfriend. FML

#12049549
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17837) - you deserved it (27766)

On 07/22/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by jennavankirk - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

#12044097
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12962) - you deserved it (42717)

On 07/22/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by Nic (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML

#12043060
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32676) - you deserved it (3902)

On 07/22/2010 at 11:10am - misc - by Elliot (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

#12042807
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (4513)

On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

#12038820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34817) - you deserved it (3077)

On 07/22/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML

#12037742
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29663) - you deserved it (4715)

On 07/22/2010 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26963) - you deserved it (51416)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Lozza111's comment : haha, your bf is awesome, stop complaining

See all the comments →

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

#12027756
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50109) - you deserved it (5940)

On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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