Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was trying to get mah car out of mah boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed window and loud noises.

#7771404
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17081) - you deserved it (2286)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:31am - intimacy - by ocroyalty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's officially been two weeks since I found out I have mono. It's also been two weeks since anyone has visited me, called me, or even emailed me. The real kicker? I'm now fred from my job because they can't believe I can have mono twice in one year. I guess I'm just lucky that way.

#7770242
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26800) - you deserved it (3342)

On 02/01/2010 at 1:43am - health - by blah - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend was sowing me pictures of er and er family. I told er to stop at one of te pictures. I startd lauging my back off and said tat se lookd grotesque. Se askd me if I was serious, I swore tat I was. It was actually a picture of er sister,o did 1 year ago. FML

#7768128
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7548) - you deserved it (45735)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:45am - misc - by Sam (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today I Was Taking Mah Dogs For A Walk Then It Started To Rain An The Wind Went Mad. I Ran For Cover In The Trees Near A Bridge Slipped An Fell Into A River. I Was Soaking Wet An Mah Boots Were Full Of Water. Then To Get Back Out Of The River I Had To Use Stinging Nettles As Hand Holds. FML

#7767397
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25031) - you deserved it (3287)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - animals - by Jammy238 - Sent from mobile version

TODAY, I WAS IN AN ELEVATOR, AN THE HOT GIRLHO LIVES IN MAH BUILDING ANHO I HAVE A CRUSH ON GOT IN. SHE WAS IN AHEELCHAIR WITH A BROKEN LEG, I PANICKED AN TRIED TO FLIRT WITH HER, AN I SAID 'NICE CHAIR.' SHE REPLIED 'NICE BRUISE' AN PUNCHED ME IN THE NUTS. FML

#7766878
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12323) - you deserved it (47139)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today... I sliced mah finger open cuz mah roommate's grlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin an all of a sudden... an inch an a half of mah flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance... so I fixed it with superglue. FML

#7766236
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28079) - you deserved it (8592)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

#7760741
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25875) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today I slipped on mah icy front porch fell back and hit mah head on the step. I tried to get up but lost mah balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see mah very hot British Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

#7757731
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23517) - you deserved it (2881)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

my boyfriend admitted that he'd lyk to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

#7753235
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27118) - you deserved it (4322)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)

after a 9 hour train journey through the Polish mountains, I mistook a small black an white cat looool 4 a penguin. FML

#7753141
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6273) - you deserved it (23371)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:21pm - animals - by saintmichi (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seieng for a couple of weeks, he kept saying looool things lyk "I want u so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

#7753113
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17286) - you deserved it (3244)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced mah leg open. Why? I jumped off mah bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned looool to Miss Vrginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

#7744599
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7682) - you deserved it (30440)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today looool I realized wat all te women I've been wit ave in common: Craigslist. FML

#7743505
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6770) - you deserved it (25245)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: