Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

#13907049
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32540) - you deserved it (4936)

On 11/20/2010 at 1:20am - love - by lorrilanee (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

#13906706
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31379) - you deserved it (3150)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, everyone at work was demanding I stage a party at my house. I agreed to it and rushed home to tidy up before the guests arrived. No one showed up. FML

#13906681
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28670) - you deserved it (3693)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got an electric razor and a lesson from my dad on how to shave my mustache and chin. I also got my period. FML

#13906340
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (4320)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Tasha84 - United States (Texas)

munkyjunkie's comment : finally someone who could answer whether being kicked in the balls or pregnancy hurts more...

See all the comments →

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

#13904254
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27592) - you deserved it (3507)

On 11/19/2010 at 9:45pm - misc - by Dammit... - United States (California)

Today, I was running the track at my school. My crush of two years was running in front of me, so I decided to catch up and finally talk to her. When I caught up, the only thing I could think to say was, "What's your name?" even though I already knew. She replied, "Natalie". Her name is Melissa. FML

#13902847
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33233) - you deserved it (7072)

On 11/19/2010 at 7:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my fiancé — a top chef — called me at work to make sure I would be home on time for the extra special dinner he'd prepared for me. The occasion, as I later discovered, was the end of our engagement. FML

#13902066
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35999) - you deserved it (2972)

On 11/19/2010 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML

#13900927
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34135) - you deserved it (6818)

On 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after three weeks of my boss telling me how much he appreciates my hard work and has submitted my name up for a promotion, he called me into his office to announce I'm being laid off. FML

#13900225
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27407) - you deserved it (2217)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML

#13899111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9964) - you deserved it (33437)

On 11/19/2010 at 11:54am - health - by SODbeatlesMCRlp (man) - United States

Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML

#13898275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29922) - you deserved it (3660)

On 11/19/2010 at 10:00am - love - by needfulthing - United States

Today, I got dumped after about a four year relationship. Feeling lonely and depressed, I posted on facebook, "is hurt, someone please text or call me." Then one of my cousins commented, "no one text him." His comment got 17 "likes." No one got in contact with me. FML

#13897942
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31688) - you deserved it (9264)

On 11/19/2010 at 8:55am - misc - by Tay Tay -

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40690) - you deserved it (13377)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -



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