Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I finished moving to my new apartment that is 45 minutes away from my old one because my workplace would be closer. I then get a phone call from my boss telling me that he will transfer me to another workplace (closer to my old apartment). FML

#5815195
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25927) - you deserved it (1944)

On 10/13/2009 at 12:00pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML

#5815091
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22453) - you deserved it (6365)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

#5815085
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30954) - you deserved it (3334)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that I owed my school $0.20. They decided to charge me a late fee of $20 for deferring the intial payment. FML

#5814625
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20356) - you deserved it (2626)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:04am - money - by latepayer (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told the man I've been in love with for 3 years, who also happens to be my boss, how I felt. He responds by filing sexual harassment charges against me. FML

#5814230
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13761) - you deserved it (26679)

On 10/13/2009 at 10:13am - intimacy - by awwshit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML

#5814058
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (1754)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:45am - intimacy - by LOLCATS (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

#5813153
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30537) - you deserved it (2434)

On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML

#5812873
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (2534)

On 10/13/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by sillystring (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7933) - you deserved it (101492)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

kindness's comment : that was so rude and sexist. you totally deserved it!

See all the comments →

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36114) - you deserved it (3151)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a mental break down. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was "I think we were better off as friends." FML

#5810614
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29000) - you deserved it (4663)

On 10/13/2009 at 1:01am - love - by Schmolly (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom put a candle on in the living room. She told the family "how much she loved it!" My mom then went on the tell us that my dad got it for her and it must have been some cheap candle. I bought the candle as a gift for her on her birthday. Thanks mom. FML

#5808379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20900) - you deserved it (2543)

On 10/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

#5806197
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11069) - you deserved it (19883)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:44pm - animals - by catgirl911 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: