Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21106) - you deserved it (2975)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20634) - you deserved it (18354)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I bought myself a flower for Valentine's Day to be delivered to myself from "Anonymous". FML

#8167540
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10931) - you deserved it (26339)

On 02/12/2010 at 1:11pm - love - by mike4444 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized I can never live with my fiancée. A childhood of systematic teasing, abuse, and humiliation has made me terrified to use a bathroom around a guy if there's the slightest chance I can be heard, seen, or even have anyone know what I'm up to. Therapy has yet to fix anything. FML

#8164087
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (4822)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:23am - love - by silentsuzie (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML

#8162555
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26694) - you deserved it (4281)

On 02/12/2010 at 9:14am - love - by JustMyLuck (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

#8160504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22828) - you deserved it (2694)

On 02/12/2010 at 6:39am - health - by Stressy (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML

#8159042
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (4565)

On 02/12/2010 at 3:41am - love - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32425) - you deserved it (2465)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my cell phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss decided to dock my hours. FML

#8158175
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24392) - you deserved it (2060)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:44am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML

#8156006
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18702) - you deserved it (3645)

On 02/12/2010 at 1:20am - health - by a - United States (Maryland)

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27960) - you deserved it (2349)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

hjrn's comment : you so need to report that!!!

See all the comments →

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24311) - you deserved it (3481)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating is heavily into a mystical card game and spends all of his money going to "Magic" card conventions across the country. FML

#8153164
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11062) - you deserved it (24056)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:03am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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