Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

#10834271
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24992) - you deserved it (13332)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by crashingdown - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

#10832830
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36226) - you deserved it (7805)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:14am - health - by fmlpanda (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

#10832589
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (3123)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:04am - health - by phonesnshit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML

#10827596
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34824) - you deserved it (4411)

On 05/28/2010 at 7:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML

#10823884
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10607) - you deserved it (30287)

On 05/28/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by crazygirl10 - United States

Today, while running late to my sister's wedding and rushing to get ready, I accidentally grabbed my travel size shaving cream can in place of my body spray, and quickly drew a blue foaming line across my rental tux. FML

#10821429
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26284) - you deserved it (12281)

On 05/28/2010 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I tested the new taps in the shower, with my head. Yep, they're strong enough. FML

#10817967
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8644) - you deserved it (22664)

On 05/28/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by gahdamnit - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was the hottest day of the year so I opened my sun roof. The hottest day of the year was followed by the biggest storm of the year. I forgot to close my sun roof and my car is now flooded. FML

#10815057
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12582) - you deserved it (30081)

On 05/28/2010 at 2:20am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

#10813076
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8656) - you deserved it (39607)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by Teresa (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

#10812675
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12443) - you deserved it (52966)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:15am - love - by TheSickness (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

#10804191
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (4637)

On 05/27/2010 at 6:50pm - misc - by Fark (woman) - United Kingdom (Cumbria)

Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML

#10802234
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25267) - you deserved it (3617)

On 05/27/2010 at 4:59pm - misc - by Nchristine - United States



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: