Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

#8248979
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (6041)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by freakingow (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the store to buy a new lego set, only to find there weren't any left in stock. I started crying before I could make it out of the store. Oh, and I'm eighteen. FML

#8248390
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9450) - you deserved it (41722)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm - misc - by Tibblesthepengwin (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I received a notice that my boyfriend had given me a rose via Happy Aquarium on Facebook. It came with a date cancellation so that he and his friends could play BioShock. FML

#8246413
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21483) - you deserved it (4240)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Fv-day (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20134) - you deserved it (3419)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away visiting my brother. She told me it was because she missed me so much. FML

#8243991
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24399) - you deserved it (2094)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:19am - intimacy - by CheatedOn (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

#8242645
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34307) - you deserved it (6014)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after 22 years of perfect skin, I woke up with a bunch of angry zits on my nose. I used a clay face mask that was supposed to dry them out. Instead, they were bigger and green. Today is Valentine's day, I finally have a guy to go out with, and my nose looks like it's rotting off. FML

#8242504
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (4845)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:14am - love - by zitgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

#8241571
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22301) - you deserved it (3377)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:24am - animals - by lex31 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML

#8238401
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26342) - you deserved it (3150)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Samson (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

#8238239
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (4153)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad decides to tell me he's taking the whole family to disney world, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML

#8232410
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38745) - you deserved it (2093)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:49am - kids - by disneyworld (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

#8230374
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23447) - you deserved it (2187)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - work - by mallcop - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my neighbor's dog bit me, it was extremely painful. The gash in my leg was deep and bleeding like crazy. When I finally got into my house screaming in agonizing pain, my mother said "Quit bitching, walk it off and you'll be fine." My leg is purple now. FML

#8230372
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (2951)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - health - by dogbait - Sent from mobile version



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