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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to my orthodontist where I was informed that I'll going to the prom, to my brother's wedding, and maybe to university with braces in my mouth. FML

#10880596
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27323) - you deserved it (8866)

On 05/31/2010 at 5:15am - health - by FarisH (man) - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

#10870202
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38527) - you deserved it (7639)

On 05/30/2010 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML

#10870072
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37218) - you deserved it (10497)

On 05/30/2010 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by lonelyandbored - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found that my cats somehow managed to pull the plug of my fridge out of the socket. Several days ago. Now I have to get rid of a ton of stinking food and clean the stinking fridge. FML

#10863158
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24670) - you deserved it (6837)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:53pm - animals - by Alexander (man) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, as a bridal shower gift, I got a "coupon" for 25% off divorce attorney fees. It was a collective gift. FML

#10862777
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29698) - you deserved it (3615)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML

#10857993
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43442) - you deserved it (8983)

On 05/30/2010 at 4:05am - kids - by BabyDaddy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

#10855287
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28222) - you deserved it (4065)

On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

#10853555
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29476) - you deserved it (5170)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:01am - animals - by misTreated (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML

#10851356
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45329) - you deserved it (6582)

On 05/29/2010 at 10:36pm - work - by love_today - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

#10842466
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28008) - you deserved it (8998)

On 05/29/2010 at 2:20pm - health - by asstomouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

#10841820
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39280) - you deserved it (3172)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by thanksmum (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

#10838070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23616) - you deserved it (6100)

On 05/29/2010 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML

#10837564
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28415) - you deserved it (2574)

On 05/29/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by hulagirl1217 (woman) - United States (California)



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