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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

#7492658
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6158) - you deserved it (36652)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:37am - work - by HotelClerk (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML

#7492497
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9322) - you deserved it (29386)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:26am - work - by iluvjenknee (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

#7492476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7673) - you deserved it (35949)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19302) - you deserved it (2876)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (19500)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (4913)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

#7490494
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65783) - you deserved it (4242)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML

#7486334
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9273) - you deserved it (23962)

On 01/21/2010 at 9:49pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9638) - you deserved it (100341)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)

el_erico's comment : That is a completely rational reason to break up with someone. I would probably have stabbed you in the neck by then.

See all the comments →

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51311) - you deserved it (4078)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my long term boyfriend took me to my favorite restaurant. After the main course he knelt down and finally proposed to me. I was so happy I almost cried. Until an old woman came over and said I was way to old for him. I'm 3 years younger than my fiancé. FML

#7481282
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (2255)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:14pm - love - by walkingonsunshine - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

#7478181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22446) - you deserved it (4365)

On 01/21/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by diorlove - Sent from mobile version

Today, I agreed to meet my ex-girlfriend at our favorite restaurant with my hopes high. She just wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. FML

#7477934
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (5333)

On 01/21/2010 at 5:02pm - love - by charlieweaver21 - Sent from mobile version



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