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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I treated my friends to lunch at a posh restaurant because it's my birthday. While we were walking leisurely around the mall afterwards, their boyfriends showed up. I spent the next few hours walking alone behind them while they were walking hand in hand with their boyfriends. FML

#7177665
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (4114)

On 01/06/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by ribbonsundone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML

#7177053
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28221) - you deserved it (6017)

On 01/06/2010 at 3:41am - animals - by motheroftwo (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML

#7176423
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (7057)

On 01/06/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Nox (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

#7175057
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26063) - you deserved it (4203)

On 01/06/2010 at 12:53am - love - by drunkdial - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

#7174533
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (2895)

On 01/06/2010 at 12:24am - love - by lug_nut (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML

#7174150
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6787) - you deserved it (22937)

On 01/06/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (3836)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

#7169187
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27518) - you deserved it (3489)

On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML

#7167765
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27003) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:02pm - money - by Arsinoe (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37257) - you deserved it (13192)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my ex looked at me for the first time in months. I felt like I could fly. Seconds later my flight ended. I fell down the stairs. FML

#7164896
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21071) - you deserved it (11426)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by katiekat (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

#7164815
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7100) - you deserved it (30772)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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