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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I didn't realize until I was home that I'd thrown my retainer away with my tray at Chick-fil-A. FML

#12149322
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14390) - you deserved it (28383)

On 07/27/2010 at 6:15pm - money - by idgit42 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

#12146210
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31334) - you deserved it (9557)

On 07/27/2010 at 2:44pm - kids - by mr - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

#12144895
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24376) - you deserved it (12435)

On 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by aero00 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37273) - you deserved it (15848)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I went surfing. One of my instructors came up to me and told me that the other, good looking, instructor didn't have a girlfriend. Who then turned around and said "I do if you are trying to set me up with her." FML

#12142770
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34973) - you deserved it (3610)

On 07/27/2010 at 9:56am - love - by nu_ravers_101 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML

#12141202
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (7473)

On 07/27/2010 at 6:07am - misc - by mauimango7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34582) - you deserved it (4895)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was doing a job for some people on my street cutting their bushes. After I had finished and went to get my pay, I realized I had gone to the wrong house. They called the police. FML

#12136195
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13168) - you deserved it (28194)

On 07/27/2010 at 12:38am - work - by uugnfg - United States

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

#12130176
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33904) - you deserved it (5316)

On 07/26/2010 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by dumped (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards, he clarified his statement. I was the love of his life, because I was in his life at that moment. FML

#12126725
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29688) - you deserved it (4413)

On 07/26/2010 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by robm (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a surprise call from LA Fitness saying I've been signed up for a two week pass. It's from my boyfriend. Didn't see this one coming. FML

#12123688
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (8242)

On 07/26/2010 at 1:09pm - health - by Andiii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML

#12120834
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40305) - you deserved it (4648)

On 07/26/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by Busted (man) - South Africa

Today, I told my girlfriend of 2 years that I was sexually abused as a kid. She was only the third person I've told. She reacted by breaking up with me because I "might do something" to her kids. FML

#12114881
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67113) - you deserved it (4298)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:34am - intimacy - by draegoncode - Sent from mobile version

bernzz's comment : what a insensitive bitch

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