Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

by mongoosemike / 06/07/2011 at 1:55am / Miscellaneous

babyyappld's comment : at the beginning I thought you were just reciting the Rebecca Black lyrics

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Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML

by Maddie110110 / 06/07/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

misstamz's comment : Then you say as he wants a bj "too small, not worth it"

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Today, I announced to my family that I will be trying out for the next season of America's Best Dance Crew. They responded by laughing hysterically and my mother said "You guys suck, good luck making it past auditions". FML

by sherronj / 06/06/2011 at 11:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Midnite_2raw's comment : Just because you play "Dance Central" on the Kinect doesn't mean you can dance.

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Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

by Danielle / 06/06/2011 at 3:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

by Someguy / 06/06/2011 at 2:55pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat with me. As he shut the door, it slammed against my fingers, breaking one of them. He then asked if we could still have sex. FML

by JayFri / 06/06/2011 at 1:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mum was filling out a reference for me as I work in the family business. When it came to naming two of my strengths, she asked me what to put as she couldn't think of anything. FML

by surefeelslikelove / 06/06/2011 at 12:01pm / Work

Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

by Mick / 06/06/2011 at 10:18am / Love

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

by Jake Whitte / 06/06/2011 at 9:50am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2011 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, my ex-girlfriend told my entire family and all my friends that we broke up because I came out to her. They all believe her. Twenty two texts and counting. FML

by rapturezz / 06/06/2011 at 3:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

by ... / 06/06/2011 at 3:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy