Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML
by SheenaL / 06/27/2011 at 2:26am / United States (Washington) / Kids
chickunkey's comment : kick his ass out of the house.
by grizzlybear / 06/27/2011 at 1:55am / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Intimacy
Hillaryy789's comment : You deserve it for not having a penis.
by Tori Pearson / 06/27/2011 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Holidays
Today, my 15 year old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
by WalkingTalkingCarrot / 06/26/2011 at 10:15pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, after a weekend of helping my sister-in-law move out of our house, vacuuming and mopping her bedroom and bathroom for her, scrubbing her walls and cleaning her shower, transporting her furniture and getting her carpet professionally cleaned, to cover costs she offered me $14. FML
by Mad / 06/26/2011 at 9:14pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Money
by kaplwv116 / 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
dudeitsdanny's comment : It's funny how if this was a guy doing it to his girlfriend, people would be insulting OP to no end.. Instead people are mocking the boyfriend. No one likes being called chunky, or fat. Especially if he's one of those people who work really, really hard on their bodies.
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 5:42pm / United States / Intimacy
by luni / 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
by Mommy / 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Unsanitary / 06/26/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids
by ugly / 06/26/2011 at 3:02am / United States / Kids
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation