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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I am meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In so doing, I accidentally touched the iron to my neck, and now I have a burn there that closely resembles a hickey. FML

#7876510
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26701) - you deserved it (4288)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:28pm - love - by Minabee (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years spent a whole hour making me promise that if he ever died, I would never try to find someone else. FML

#7874367
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (4162)

On 02/04/2010 at 11:12am - love - by confused - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, claiming moving in was a bad idea and he is the type who needs his privacy. It was his idea to move in, he had to convince me. Now we are stuck, under lease together for the next 6 months. FML

#7874212
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24483) - you deserved it (3213)

On 02/04/2010 at 11:03am - love - by Awkward - Sent from mobile version

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML

#7873288
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29802) - you deserved it (4317)

On 02/04/2010 at 9:52am - love - by EchoDearEcho (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cyber sex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML

#7873279
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7625) - you deserved it (27841)

On 02/04/2010 at 9:51am - intimacy - by erin - Sent from mobile version

bhsnare's comment : then dump your boyfriend and save him the trouble of having an unloyal girlfriend, ya?

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idkweird's comment : Why did you have 500 dollars easily accessible to a child?

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Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

#7870417
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (3229)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:40am - health - by littlespoon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

#7870282
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26581) - you deserved it (7323)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML

#7869432
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10478) - you deserved it (28208)

On 02/04/2010 at 2:22am - health - by Tuffgunsmoke - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML

#7868479
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (2200)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:34am - misc - by city_girl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had lunch with a co-worker, and after having a good talk and enjoying each others company, we got up to leave. Right before we said goodbye, she looked me right in the face and looking legitimately confused said "you know, I really don't understand why no one at work likes you." FML

#7865660
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29014) - you deserved it (2378)

On 02/04/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by crazyclumzy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I am jobless after graduation. Ironic, since when I started college with my education degree, I was congratulated, told of the teacher shortage in my state, and how quickly I would be able to find a job. Three years in, the economy tanks, and the state issues a teacher hiring freeze. FML

#7865579
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (2496)

On 02/04/2010 at 12:02am - work - by FMJoblessL (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on a road-trip with some of my buddies, when we stopped at a gas station. When I opened the door to their bathroom, brown water flowed out, soaking my legs up to my knees. I then spent another 2 hours in an enclosed vehicle. FML

#7860912
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22309) - you deserved it (1886)

On 02/03/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by UptoHERE (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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