Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML

#14034563
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11894) - you deserved it (36246)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I cringed as I noticed my caveman colleague frantically digging into his nose and then continuing the use of his computer. I work in IT support and will be rebuilding his computer and reinstalling all his applications in 30 minutes time. FML

#14034046
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24003) - you deserved it (2237)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

#14033454
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35820) - you deserved it (2445)

On 11/30/2010 at 6:30am - work - by Tony -

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

#14033332
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32953) - you deserved it (3539)

On 11/30/2010 at 3:48am - intimacy - by Jack -

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

#14032735
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14540) - you deserved it (21244)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I flew into Denver. Never being here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

#14032077
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8977) - you deserved it (27956)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

#14032053
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19349) - you deserved it (31666)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27056) - you deserved it (6670)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

#14029442
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42234) - you deserved it (5186)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -

Today, I refused to ride with a friend on a motorcycle because it is unsafe and went to take the bus. As I got off the bus, I got hit by a speeding motorcycle and ended up in hospital. FML

#14026959
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32621) - you deserved it (5522)

On 11/29/2010 at 7:25pm - health - by leilei (woman) - Philippines

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

#14024877
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32729) - you deserved it (3765)

On 11/29/2010 at 4:17pm - kids - by nybaby - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

#14024003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35038) - you deserved it (3441)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:20pm - kids - by preggers - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26840) - you deserved it (54608)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -



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