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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

#8770202
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20230) - you deserved it (7779)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after celebrating my birthday yesterday, getting really drunk, I woke up naked in the bathroom at my girlfriend's house. Why did I wake up? Her father walked in. FML

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20753) - you deserved it (3489)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML

#8769098
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25535) - you deserved it (3768)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:17am - kids - by Dogs loose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

#8767827
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31446) - you deserved it (2934)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by Celeste - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML

#8767349
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (4828)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:14am - love - by BirthdayGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29286) - you deserved it (3736)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

#8765418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (2947)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:07am - love - by SingleSara. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML

#8765268
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22443) - you deserved it (2518)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Lin - United States (California)

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the first time in a while. When he came over we realized that we had not only gotten the same haircut, but we were also wearing the same sweater. We are a matching old couple at 17. FML

#8764219
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11144) - you deserved it (22073)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:15am - love - by oldandmarriedapparently (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22592) - you deserved it (5494)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent a wonderful day with my girlfriend. I got her everything she wanted, and drained my wallet. On the walk home she noticed a license plate that had an ex-girlfriend's name on it. She saw me looking and accused me of still being in love with my ex, and stormed off. After throwing salad in my face. FML

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22682) - you deserved it (2689)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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