Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML

by elvisfreak5446 / 08/10/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

shesaywha's comment : The only thing worse than fat people are fat people who don't think they're fat.

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Today, I got a ticket from a cop for not riding my bike in the bike lane. I wasn't riding in the bike lane because I was avoiding construction work. FML

by donny31459 / 08/10/2011 at 10:44am / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I finally went to my boyfriend's house to meet his family. When they were giving me a tour of the house, I noticed a Nazi flag on my boyfriend's bedroom door. FML

by MaydayManic / 08/10/2011 at 9:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

RebekahBrooke's comment : itd be. worse if the last sentence was, 'Im Jewish'.

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Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML

by Username / 08/10/2011 at 8:36am / United States / Love

Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML

by TheKunitzShow14 / 08/10/2011 at 3:22am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, a week after my fiancé and I got engaged, his mother is already complaining that she isn't involved enough in the wedding arrangements. We haven't even set a date yet. FML

by Potential Bridezilla / 08/10/2011 at 3:18am / United Arab Emirates / Love

Today, our AC broke. It's 98 degrees inside the house. My parents will be staying at a 5 star resort until the repairman can come to fix the unit in 6 days. They made me stay home to make sure the plants survive. FML

by Username / 08/10/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

ThisGi's comment : Let the plants die

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Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

by thatfatkid / 08/10/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML

by auntoftheyear / 08/10/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

by anonymous / 08/10/2011 at 12:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

by Nekro_Kat / 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

by Username / 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm / United States / Intimacy