Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my 5 year old brother wanted to look through my phone. I know he can't read so I gave it to him. He was, however, able to get at my "private" photo album. FML

#14003721
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8047) - you deserved it (39644)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by lebowski - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML

#14003133
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29361) - you deserved it (13031)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:03pm - kids - by lovedbyallthewrongppl - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16489) - you deserved it (42076)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML

#13999820
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34844) - you deserved it (6022)

On 11/27/2010 at 2:12pm - love - by ahhhboys (woman) - Romania

Today, I blared my music while I got ready for a night out. Getting really into this one song, I grabbed onto the nearest thing as a makeshift microphone. It happened to be the hot end of my curling iron. FML

#13998989
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9753) - you deserved it (39728)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders)

Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone but me. Then, one of them said: "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML

#13998469
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41850) - you deserved it (3716)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

#13998291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33673) - you deserved it (14878)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML

#13998189
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9571) - you deserved it (42098)

On 11/27/2010 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML

#13997572
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15041) - you deserved it (36398)

On 11/27/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by Flaps - United States (New York)

Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML

#13997300
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32993) - you deserved it (2602)

On 11/27/2010 at 6:28am - misc - by loving grandaughter - United States (New York)

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

#13995659
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32343) - you deserved it (3954)

On 11/27/2010 at 2:08am - intimacy - by >{%£•¥ - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a back-up girl if we break up. FML

#13995270
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33900) - you deserved it (4336)

On 11/27/2010 at 1:38am - love - by smiles22 - United States

 Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML

#13995137
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33987) - you deserved it (15582)

On 11/27/2010 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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