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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I told my father I registered for the Marines, and that I'm leaving for bootcamp next week. He asked if this means that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. FML

#12401273
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30787) - you deserved it (3308)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by Widowmaker - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

#12396014
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35235) - you deserved it (3595)

On 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm - animals - by L.Lime05 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my "secret admirer" I've been exchanging letters with for the last three months, and even started developing feelings for, is actually my ex best friend trying to pull a prank on me. FML

#12392564
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36150) - you deserved it (6512)

On 08/08/2010 at 3:38pm - love - by pixiegirl (woman) - United States

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

#12390101
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31256) - you deserved it (4218)

On 08/08/2010 at 12:22pm - animals - by Lifes_a_bust (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

#12389070
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30305) - you deserved it (3236)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:52am - work - by XxDanno316xX - United States

Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML

#12388873
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7667) - you deserved it (35595)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by Lola (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I found out that my best friend is moving to Arkansas, and my girlfriend is going with him. FML

#12386734
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40136) - you deserved it (3131)

On 08/08/2010 at 4:49am - love - by LadyGagasLOVER (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML

#12385494
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28406) - you deserved it (7702)

On 08/08/2010 at 3:14am - misc - by joe (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you deserved it (18302)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42892) - you deserved it (2992)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, while driving I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML

#12376423
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7197) - you deserved it (62477)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to me. I was greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because I didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, I asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist. FML

#12371102
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (5446)

On 08/07/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by TRalalla (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML

#12368277
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (6718)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:01am - love - by Single (woman) - France (Bretagne)



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