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Today, I was walking into the building I hoped to work in someday with my resume, ready to be interviewed. As I walked through the doors I had to sneeze, so lifted my hands and sneezed a huge bloody booger right in the middle of the cover page. Turns out future employers don't like that. FML

#6447177
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21684) - you deserved it (6588)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:25pm - work - by ZombieLicker (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my mother has been purposely wrecking every relationship I've had since junior high because ''no one is good enough for her little girl''. FML

#6445574
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35644) - you deserved it (2480)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by B_McG - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that there is a limit to being thrifty. For example buying a pan from the dollar store is most likely going to cost a lot more than a few dollars. Especially when it melts all over your stove which you now have to replace. FML

#6445048
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10320) - you deserved it (27315)

On 11/25/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by Drim (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

#6443277
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31084) - you deserved it (7092)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:45am - work - by youshitme (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML

#6443254
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31377) - you deserved it (7400)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:43am - kids - by madeyoulaugh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of almost a year, and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving, dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML

#6442976
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37370) - you deserved it (3315)

On 11/25/2009 at 8:56am - love - by blasted (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that when the pest control man said that we may see a few more bugs in the next few days, what he meant was "your kitchen will be covered in them." It's the day before Thanksgiving and I have several people invited over for the Holiday. FML

#6441818
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24859) - you deserved it (2404)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by buggedout (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML

#6441819
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34601) - you deserved it (3025)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:57am - love - by whatthewhat? - United States

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

#6441579
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11950) - you deserved it (23446)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:36am - kids - by n/a - United States

Today, my roommate of seven weeks decided to kick me out. He blames me for the stains on his expensive white leather couch, even after a prof cleaner determined it was red wine. I don't drink red wine. He does. FML

#6441828
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26949) - you deserved it (1728)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML

#6441814
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17836) - you deserved it (6317)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:23am - intimacy - by sexyconvo (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28971) - you deserved it (1831)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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