Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML

#11283596
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13852) - you deserved it (36399)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by gimmeabreak0_o (man) - United States (California)

Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML

#11283515
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35391) - you deserved it (10596)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:13am - work - by Stevo - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11061) - you deserved it (51408)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML

#11271577
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32980) - you deserved it (14767)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML

#11271571
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30702) - you deserved it (3363)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - animals - by MCRxforever - United States (Missouri)

Today, my computer was hit by something bigger than a virus: a car. FML

#11264339
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33359) - you deserved it (4420)

On 06/17/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by katiebabby - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that we have six skunks under my shed. While I was mowing the lawn, they all came out and sprayed me. FML

#11264233
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35298) - you deserved it (3634)

On 06/17/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by pritch44 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a first date planned. He texted saying he was sick and couldn't make it. Two hours later his twitter account said otherwise. FML

#11261528
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31333) - you deserved it (3891)

On 06/17/2010 at 8:42am - love - by hopelesss88 - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my new step-dad proposed to my mom during a family trip to Wal-Mart. FML

#11251365
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (3822)

On 06/16/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by Blank (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

#11246854
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30663) - you deserved it (2447)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was unbearably hungry, so I went to Wendy's, bought myself a Baconator and took it outside to eat on the patio. One bite in, I went back to grab a few napkins. Within seconds of my departure, a seagull snatched it up. FML

#11240102
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13704) - you deserved it (39757)

On 06/16/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by theorifice (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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