by recordyear / 08/09/2011 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Work
Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML
by OyGeeze28 / 08/09/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by ksmith / 08/09/2011 at 12:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
bluebird0020's comment : Ouchhhh. Sorry dude. Nothing funny about that.
Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML
by **(: / 08/09/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML
by wow / 08/09/2011 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
by me / 08/08/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
panda1o's comment : well which one were you?
by anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 10:01pm / United States / Health
rohanp's comment : Did she live in a house with wifi when she was young?
by Username / 08/08/2011 at 8:03pm / United States / Intimacy
by Kathryn / 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Sharee K. / 08/08/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by yupppp / 08/08/2011 at 2:12pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by oops / 08/08/2011 at 2:11pm / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Health
by allinicolesmh / 08/08/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…