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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

#14006967
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32898) - you deserved it (3911)

On 11/28/2010 at 1:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was trying to get to my boyfriend via public transport in Thailand. He was giving the driver instructions through my phone when my phone went flat. I am now alone in the passenger seat of a car, next to a creepy old driver, no idea where he is taking me, and I don't speak a word of Thai. FML

#14006196
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27745) - you deserved it (5248)

On 11/28/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

#14003911
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (4408)

On 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm - health - by fulloshit - United States (Washington)

Today, my 5 year old brother wanted to look through my phone. I know he can't read so I gave it to him. He was, however, able to get at my "private" photo album. FML

#14003721
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8046) - you deserved it (39644)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by lebowski - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML

#14003133
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29360) - you deserved it (13031)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:03pm - kids - by lovedbyallthewrongppl - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16489) - you deserved it (42076)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML

#13999820
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34843) - you deserved it (6022)

On 11/27/2010 at 2:12pm - love - by ahhhboys (woman) - Romania

Today, I blared my music while I got ready for a night out. Getting really into this one song, I grabbed onto the nearest thing as a makeshift microphone. It happened to be the hot end of my curling iron. FML

#13998989
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9753) - you deserved it (39727)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders)

Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone but me. Then, one of them said: "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML

#13998469
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41850) - you deserved it (3716)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

#13998291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33673) - you deserved it (14878)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML

#13998189
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9571) - you deserved it (42099)

On 11/27/2010 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML

#13997572
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15041) - you deserved it (36398)

On 11/27/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by Flaps - United States (New York)

Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML

#13997300
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32993) - you deserved it (2602)

On 11/27/2010 at 6:28am - misc - by loving grandaughter - United States (New York)



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