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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29481) - you deserved it (3054)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found the Christmas 'newsletter' my mom sends out every year to our extended family and friends that details our activities and achievements of the past year. I wasn't mentioned once. FML

#7564302
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (3109)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:32am - misc - by notworthy (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30804) - you deserved it (4383)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

#7563782
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15324) - you deserved it (3972)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

#7562154
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11119) - you deserved it (20525)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML

#7560718
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23747) - you deserved it (6514)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:33am - love - by Phoenix0614 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that you need to clean your car more often when you find a mouldy burrito under the back seat. FML

#7560337
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4944) - you deserved it (31073)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16725) - you deserved it (41886)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML

#7552135
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54003) - you deserved it (2129)

On 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm - love - by weddingbells (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML

#7551805
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28667) - you deserved it (3945)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by dan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML

#7551052
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19105) - you deserved it (6855)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by meggasee - Sent from mobile version

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

#7550424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31489) - you deserved it (3940)

On 01/24/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by owned (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (8359)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States



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