Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

#12426851
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29349) - you deserved it (8693)

On 08/10/2010 at 3:22am - intimacy - by kylie - United States (New York)

Today, while eating dinner, a car alarm went off outside for 15 minutes and was driving me crazy, until I realized it was my car. FML

#12425541
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7816) - you deserved it (32399)

On 08/10/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by clu - United States (Illinois)

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

#12424565
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (4068)

On 08/10/2010 at 1:19am - misc - by dammit (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I called my boyfriend just to hear his voice since I haven't seen him in a while. His mom picked up and said "Chris isn't here right now, he's with his girlfriend. Do you want to leave him a message." We've been dating for 4 and a half months now. FML

#12423353
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34995) - you deserved it (3593)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:30am - love - by llmd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML

#12420355
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (10971)

On 08/09/2010 at 10:29pm - health - by fatman - United States (Michigan)

Today, after moving into my new house, I agreed to let my house mates have a house warming on the condition it be a small one, as I have exams all day that day and one that I can't fail on the very next morning. The facebook event guest list now has 100+ confirmed guests. FML

#12418259
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14547) - you deserved it (24094)

On 08/09/2010 at 8:33pm - misc - by mitsuko045 (woman) - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, I was supposed to take a test, but the professor didn't have it ready because he went to a concert last night. I sold my own tickets to that very concert in order to study for the test. FML

#12411757
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41703) - you deserved it (4375)

On 08/09/2010 at 1:44pm - misc - by goodstudent (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the car with my parents' friends. I was in the back with my window down when I felt something strange hit my ear. I then realized that the person sitting in front of me was picking their scab and throwing it out the window. FML

#12411056
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27785) - you deserved it (2347)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Scabs (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, the sprinklers in the hotel room came on and stayed on. There was no fire. My family is currently living in the hotel, so everything we own is soaked. FML

#12410355
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29230) - you deserved it (2715)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

#12409274
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40417) - you deserved it (27436)

On 08/09/2010 at 10:38am - love - by Forgotten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44034) - you deserved it (14093)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

#12408546
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12936) - you deserved it (51057)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML

#12406299
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8561) - you deserved it (30197)

On 08/09/2010 at 4:29am - work - by Fml24609 - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: