by McKenna / 07/16/2011 at 12:10am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Doortje's comment : Honey, if you need to turn him on a day in advance to get him to want to have sex with you, you're doing something wrong.
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
rawrkittehpwnage's comment : owned.
Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML
by Creep / 07/15/2011 at 7:10pm / United States (Puerto Rico) / Love
Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
by Meg / 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend of two years. He asked me to turn off my webcam. I asked why, and he said to just trust him. Turns out it was because he didn't want to see my face as he broke up with me. FML
by emily / 07/15/2011 at 6:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
CompettiveCheer's comment : Douche. Bag.
by Username / 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States / Health
by kacysospacyy / 07/15/2011 at 2:23pm / United States (California) / Animals
by evilwater / 07/15/2011 at 1:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by so much for a good day / 07/15/2011 at 1:14pm / United States / Health
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek
by panos016 / 07/15/2011 at 9:51am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by TabbiNicole / 07/15/2011 at 7:38am / United States / Work
by SCREWED / 07/15/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…