by rileycrash / 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
marmots's comment : It sounds like you've been partying with Ke$ha.
Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML
kingtz's comment : Did people just stand there and watch you go into anaphylatic shock, thinking it was your celebration dance?
Today, I took my 6 year old son to meet our new neighbours. When we got home he packed his bags and headed for the door. Once he reached the door, I asked where he was going. He replied, "To the neighbours'. They have a bigger television." FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2011 at 7:05pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Kids
by forkmylife / 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Olovio's comment : Bet you can't wait for sporks!
by Username / 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by esoog / 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
Today, I went shopping with my cousin. Walking down the road, I heard her say "Can you hold my hand?" I was confused, but thought it was cute, so I held her hand and kept walking. It turns out she'd asked me to hold her bag. We didn't say another word after that. FML
by awkwardd / 05/19/2011 at 8:51am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
by stranded / 05/19/2011 at 7:46am / United States / Transportation
by ThisPerson / 05/19/2011 at 6:11am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/19/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation…
- Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the… Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up… Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched…