Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

#14061487
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32729) - you deserved it (2716)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied saying she is a hair dresser. FML

#14059634
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7204) - you deserved it (43548)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

#14059458
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36855) - you deserved it (8409)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by nickyboy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38207) - you deserved it (10023)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend informed me via text message that he had moved to Bristol, and the reason he had ignored me the past fortnight was because he didn't know how to tell me. He knew he was moving even before we even got together. FML

#14058874
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27688) - you deserved it (2780)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:36am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67610) - you deserved it (5333)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

#14057053
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (4132)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:24am - misc - by e (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a phone call to say my workplace was closed due to extreme weather conditions. Looking forward to my day off, I then realised the boiler was broken and my house has no heating despite there being a foot of snow outside. I'm spending the day in bed, wearing all my clothes. FML

#14056673
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24978) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/02/2010 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML

#14055521
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31683) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a v-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year old grandma. FML

#14051903
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10975) - you deserved it (58316)

On 12/01/2010 at 8:14pm - love - by agentile (man) - United States

Today, my fencing team took pictures for the yearbook. We were having individual pictures with our weapons, and it was my turn. When the photographer told me to pose, I tried to be super cool by quickly putting my sabre against my chest like some sort of soldier. I poked myself in the eye. FML

#14051291
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7915) - you deserved it (34227)

On 12/01/2010 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

#14050181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44490) - you deserved it (3367)

On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, the elderly lady in front of me had forgotten to pay for her milk. In the spirit of the season, I paid for it and wished her happy holidays. She snatched the milk and gave me an ugly look. Then huffed at me before stomping off. FML

#14048564
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33514) - you deserved it (3631)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by sumerflame07 (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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