Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

#14091137
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35397) - you deserved it (8466)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6678) - you deserved it (64472)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (11393)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

#14087670
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46399) - you deserved it (3817)

On 12/04/2010 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I lost my job. I was so upset that I put in my favorite mix CD of all the songs that get me feeling better. While scanning for my favorite song, I hit the car in front of me. FML

#14087345
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11488) - you deserved it (35274)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

#14087170
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39532) - you deserved it (5718)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

#14086848
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31945) - you deserved it (3345)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:08pm - money - by unemployable (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML

#14086512
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32791) - you deserved it (2505)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

#14086483
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17338) - you deserved it (35044)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my friend a ride to town so she wouldn't have to pay the $10 to park. While waiting to pick her up, I grabbed a bite to eat. Upon returning to my car, I found a $55 parking ticket on my windshield. FML

#14085291
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11277) - you deserved it (26673)

On 12/04/2010 at 4:04pm - money - by Username - United States

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

#14085005
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (6324)

On 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm - love - by Pita (woman) - United States (Florida)

climbthoserocks's comment : pita?

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Today, my boyfriend and I were arguing about how he was too busy for me. During that conversation, he was texting his best friend and then called by his brother to drive him home. Instead of returning to finish our conversation, he left to prepare for his fishing trip with his mates tomorrow. FML

#14081508
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (5817)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:03am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

#14081399
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (6367)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)



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