Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML

#14069245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (12766)

On 12/03/2010 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64896) - you deserved it (9474)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML

#14067824
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (2935)

On 12/03/2010 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML

#14066862
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28646) - you deserved it (3020)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:18am - misc - by nokitchenforme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my annoying and disrespectful roommate discovered Pandora. She also discovered that she can play Christmas music on Pandora. Only 23 more days until Christmas. FML

#14065722
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24679) - you deserved it (4030)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

#14065595
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27465) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called up Verizon Wireless to "complain" about my phone service. I really had nothing to complain about, I was just that lonely that I wanted someone to talk to. FML

#14065426
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17247) - you deserved it (29263)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, at work, one of my 6 year old students who has had intense speech therapy since kindergarten, told me "I can tell you're hot, because you rolled your sleeves up." I was very pleased with his articulate sentence, until he said "Your arms are hairy." FML

#14063291
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22672) - you deserved it (4169)

On 12/02/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was online and I saw a friend that I hadn't talked to in two years come online. I IM'ed him, only for him to respond, "I haven't responded to any messages of yours in over a year. Most people would get the hint." FML

#14062616
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (8029)

On 12/02/2010 at 6:43pm - misc - by wingless_angel_7 (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

#14061487
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (2716)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied saying she is a hair dresser. FML

#14059634
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7203) - you deserved it (43544)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

#14059458
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36848) - you deserved it (8409)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by nickyboy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38204) - you deserved it (10023)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)



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