Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was home alone, and I thought I heard someone breaking in through the side gate at my house. I was terrified, so I called the police. It turned out it was the gas company checking the meter. FML

#11529694
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (24227)

On 06/28/2010 at 11:18pm - misc - by itssdianaa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML

#11528096
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33384) - you deserved it (12100)

On 06/28/2010 at 10:21pm - work - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

#11524663
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10444) - you deserved it (66184)

On 06/28/2010 at 7:37pm - health - by Pain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML

#11521879
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8562) - you deserved it (37323)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:35pm - misc - by WelcomeWagon - United States

Today, my hot co-worker had to use my computer, so he called me while I was at lunch for my login password. It was his name. FML

#11515790
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (45856)

On 06/28/2010 at 9:28am - work - by ladyhavery - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30870) - you deserved it (33952)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML

#11511687
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29865) - you deserved it (4082)

On 06/28/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by Kim422 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

#11497939
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35211) - you deserved it (9358)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:54pm - work - by Matt (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

#11497127
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38425) - you deserved it (3324)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by ac13 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a party. No one there was under 60. I'm 16 and it was the only party I've been to all year. FML

#11492155
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34172) - you deserved it (7190)

On 06/27/2010 at 6:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

#11490873
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29448) - you deserved it (3543)

On 06/27/2010 at 3:43am - work - by Daniel - United States



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