by anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
geekpowerwtf's comment : When is taking a 20 miles bike ride not a bad decision?
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
by brittbrat4 / 08/13/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Dr_Jalepenos's comment : That was his version of "HULK SMASH!".
by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
PandaPi's comment : Check if your wang is still there!!!!!!
by sydneybourgeois / 08/13/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
by -_- / 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm / France / Love
by ThisGuy97 / 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm / United States / Health
Today, I was on the bus when a really cute guy came on. The only seat left was the one next to me, so I smiled and waited for him to sit down. He looked at the seat, looked at me, and opted to stand until his stop. FML
by ouch / 08/12/2011 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML
by Coldsnap / 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by LuckySperm / 08/12/2011 at 9:14am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
by James / 08/12/2011 at 3:54am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by squishylog / 08/12/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals