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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7795) - you deserved it (45510)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

#12506969
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9077) - you deserved it (46173)

On 08/13/2010 at 8:56pm - health - by thatsucks4u - United States (California)

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

#12501881
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (11940)

On 08/13/2010 at 3:45pm - animals - by Spelit (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

#12498978
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42413) - you deserved it (3150)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:28pm - kids - by Bullet - United States

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I baby sit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

#12498801
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38346) - you deserved it (9201)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:14pm - kids - by qtpieo1 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to hack my Facebook and "like" everybody's statuses. This includes my boyfriend's about his grandmother dying. FML

#12498783
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38306) - you deserved it (5812)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML

#12497360
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9708) - you deserved it (48353)

On 08/13/2010 at 10:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband of 3 years, who I have a 1 year old daughter with, told me he wants a divorce, but who knows, maybe in the future we can "date." FML

#12495310
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37768) - you deserved it (3058)

On 08/13/2010 at 5:11am - love - by starley (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a blind date for coffee. He was smart, good looking, and friendly. While we were talking about our respective families it became abundantly clear that I have heard these stories before. I realized that 6 months earlier I had been dumped by his brother after sleeping with him. FML

Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML

#12492067
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35887) - you deserved it (3705)

On 08/13/2010 at 1:33am - love - by brother love - United Kingdom

Today, my husband fell for an online scam leaving us 1450.00 in the negative. We get paid tomorrow and most of our money is going to cover that debt. FML

#12489960
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32324) - you deserved it (7522)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:03am - money - by Relevance - United States

Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML

#12487392
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27790) - you deserved it (3286)

On 08/12/2010 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML

#12485958
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (7785)

On 08/12/2010 at 9:06pm - misc - by Diana (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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