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Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14301) - you deserved it (86977)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

ysomad's comment : wow you're a loser

See all the comments →

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

#14120068
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38015) - you deserved it (6550)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

#14119620
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12678) - you deserved it (40089)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by openmouthinsertfoot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

#14119130
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (3066)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I built a snowman. When I'd finished, I went inside to get a scarf and carrot for the nose. As I came back outside, a snowplough ran it over, and the driver waved at me. FML

Today, my boss texted me to say the office was closed because of the snow. I begged him to let me go in anyway because I had nothing to do all day. I have no life, friends or hobbies. FML

#14118348
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27316) - you deserved it (11842)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:13am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I ate lunch alone. None of my colleagues saved me a seat. One of those colleagues was my husband. He didn't even have the decency to move so that I wouldn't have to eat alone. FML

#14117302
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (4429)

On 12/07/2010 at 6:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

#14117268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32427) - you deserved it (2663)

On 12/07/2010 at 6:08am - work - by jessefonsexy. (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML

#14117134
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26249) - you deserved it (2263)

On 12/07/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, I was sitting on the bus when an obese woman with flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML

#14116866
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34346) - you deserved it (2873)

On 12/07/2010 at 4:38am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I spent hours voluntarily decorating my town for Christmas. After a break, I came back to find someone had re-positioned the wooden reindeer to make it look like they were humping. FML

#14115471
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (8373)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called my parents from out of state to see if they would order me a pizza using their credit card online because I'm out of money. I haven't lived with them for the past year, and they still claim me as a dependent on their taxes. They said no. FML

#14115164
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14649) - you deserved it (29681)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:47am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML

#14114912
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25009) - you deserved it (4063)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:28am - work - by anonymous-canada -



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