Today, I went back to the key cutter for the second time because apartment key I gave to my boyfriend didn't work. The man cut me another key and apologised profusely. When I got home and tried the key, it didn't work. I realised I'd asked him to copy the wrong key. Twice. FML
by M / 05/23/2011 at 3:14pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous
by Jon / 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
allmidnighteyes's comment : "Today, I satisfied my woman. FML" REALLY?
Today, I got fired from my job at a small start-up company. Why? The CEO wanted to give a job to one of his former fraternity brothers who is out of work, and they couldn't afford to keep us both. FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2011 at 2:12pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML
by dumbteacher / 05/23/2011 at 10:35am / Miscellaneous
ZTD09's comment : Ultimately, your rural demise is imminent.
Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML
by Badaboom / 05/23/2011 at 6:54am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/23/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Love
by sleepy / 05/23/2011 at 12:57am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML
amrik's comment : pepper spray his toilet paper :)
by Fatty1970 / 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids