by gkid92 / 08/16/2011 at 12:16pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Health
Petronix's comment : Ever heard of floss and a toothbrush?
by bursteardrums / 08/16/2011 at 11:00am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous
iAmScrubs's comment : Be gentle when you break the news to it, but the parrot needs to go to rehab. It might be screaming now, but the next step is orange juice injections.
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
by erineilis / 08/16/2011 at 10:22am / United States (New York) / Transportation
the_easter_bunny's comment : I hope you got his license plate number so you can press charges.
Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML
by worried / 08/16/2011 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
by NaniNarcotic / 08/16/2011 at 6:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by Stevie / 08/16/2011 at 2:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by 800z / 08/16/2011 at 2:44am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
by Anon / 08/16/2011 at 2:27am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Gross... / 08/16/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by Jillian Drute / 08/16/2011 at 12:54am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health
Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2011 at 11:31pm / United States / Intimacy
by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Facepalm / 08/15/2011 at 7:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…