Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

#10777263
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (5431)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML

#10775711
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29008) - you deserved it (5341)

On 05/26/2010 at 11:54am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I fell down the stairs carrying a huge TV. Don't worry, my body cushioned the TV's fall. FML

#10774629
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (4359)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by hatestomove - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going great, I was so happy, until he started talking non-stop about the extent of his foot fetish. FML

#10773594
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28876) - you deserved it (5220)

On 05/26/2010 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

#10772348
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (13188)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by pandasbear - United States (California)

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

#10772340
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15286) - you deserved it (32539)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with a woman who was yelling at the top of her lungs, sobbing uncontrollably and hyperventilating. She also told me if she had a heart attack and died from crying, it was all my fault. Why? I told her she needed her receipt to have her T.V. repaired. FML

#10769429
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31325) - you deserved it (2724)

On 05/26/2010 at 12:26am - work - by customerservicesucks - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20739) - you deserved it (36478)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

#10760568
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58621) - you deserved it (3678)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by DHarman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML

#10756471
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26564) - you deserved it (7021)

On 05/25/2010 at 3:08pm - misc - by AdamFoundHisEve - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

#10752650
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14032) - you deserved it (32711)

On 05/25/2010 at 8:32am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home on leave after a seven month deployment in the middle of the ocean for the Navy. My entire region got hit by the worst flood in recorded history. I need a speedboat to go to the Quick-e-mart. FML

#10751307
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31552) - you deserved it (2442)

On 05/25/2010 at 5:29am - work - by Jimbo (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

#10750179
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26454) - you deserved it (4143)

On 05/25/2010 at 2:54am - love - by Ouchhh (man) - United States (California)



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