by anon / 07/09/2011 at 12:48am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
lol_ironic_life's comment : Parent-"That poor tree has been in tree heaven for a while dear."
Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML
by OnlyMee / 07/09/2011 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Love
xxmollyxx's comment : and why were you there?
by Username / 07/09/2011 at 12:32am / United States / Love
Big_Red_138's comment : Well that puts an interesting twist on things...maybe she bleeds out some of the 'bitch cells'.
Today, I found out that the landscaping job I started three weeks ago is actually for an illicit business run by a hippie who pissed away the entire payroll to fund his drug habit. He has no way of coughing up the $900 he owes me. I'm broke as hell, and my electricity is now going to get cut off. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 8:12pm / United States / Work
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
Today, I got surgery on one of my hands. I opted for a local anesthetic instead of being put all the way under. I soon discovered my hand hadn't gone completely numb when the doctor started slicing into the finger that needed operating on. FML
by phillij2 / 07/08/2011 at 8:03pm / United States / Health
by UhOh / 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
by Username / 07/08/2011 at 4:02pm / United States / Health
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
by Joe / 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 11:46am / Belgium (Liege) / Health
by Jack / 07/08/2011 at 11:10am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML
by jen / 07/08/2011 at 10:57am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my best friend of 12 years told me she couldn't attend my wedding. What was so important to… Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.…