Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML

#12535348
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15616) - you deserved it (35695)

On 08/15/2010 at 5:47am - work - by jacko (man) - Reserved

Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML

#12534816
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12835) - you deserved it (30567)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:42am - misc - by Lifeless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I haven't had any real sleep in 4 days because I am an insomniac. My father is also an insomniac but he takes Ambien to get his rest. Me? I'm stuck staring at the ceiling for hours because he won't let me take any kind of medication, because he doesn't want me "getting addicted." FML

#12533834
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (3424)

On 08/15/2010 at 3:23am - health - by sleeplessinID (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML

#12531799
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8150) - you deserved it (38948)

On 08/15/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML

#12530791
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32440) - you deserved it (3821)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:39am - work - by ouch (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

#12530276
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46478) - you deserved it (4773)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:12am - animals - by goodbye-college (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML

#12528127
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38081) - you deserved it (4007)

On 08/14/2010 at 10:25pm - misc - by carless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39895) - you deserved it (2815)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML

#12524793
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (3369)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:10pm - work - by hobosarea-holes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML

#12522582
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36907) - you deserved it (19436)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

#12522579
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30394) - you deserved it (8032)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:41pm - love - by irresponsible (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I made lists of what celebrities we're interested in. The first one she listed wasn't a celebrity - it was my brother. He's spending the weekend with us. FML

#12519731
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31390) - you deserved it (3667)

On 08/14/2010 at 1:37pm - love - by Chad - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the foundation I've been using for the past month isn't normal foundation, its skin darkening foundation. I look like an oompa loompa from the neck up. It won't go away for another month. FML

#12518999
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10652) - you deserved it (33503)

On 08/14/2010 at 12:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders)



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