Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML
by ddeit / 08/18/2011 at 10:10pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
by kaitylait / 08/18/2011 at 8:59pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health
Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML
by BigmouthStrikesAgain / 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
thesiwel's comment : Lol balls....
by Bill / 08/18/2011 at 7:44pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband bought me a cinnamon roll because my blood sugar was dangerously low. My first bite was easily the most delicious thing I'd eaten since getting pregnant. As I sat in frosting coated ecstasy, my husband snatched up the rest of the pastry and finished it himself. FML
by AmySweet / 08/18/2011 at 5:41pm / United States (Washington) / Health
ciarafox9's comment : My mouth was watering reading this..
by Chels / 08/18/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
babyyappld's comment : what a bitch.
by princessbbee / 08/18/2011 at 1:40pm / United States / Animals
Today, I noticed that a picture of me on my Mum and Dad's wall looked different. On closer inspection, I realised they'd recently painted over my teeth with white paint. I asked them why, and they said they looked 'discoloured'. It's my wedding photo. FML
by JLO / 08/18/2011 at 10:11am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Animals
by Lousydriver / 08/18/2011 at 9:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
by boyfriend123 / 08/18/2011 at 6:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML
by Academia / 08/18/2011 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Work
- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…