Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16935) - you deserved it (27493)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have to train people overseas to do my job. If I succeed in teaching them what they need to know, then they get my job and I get fired. If they don't perform well, then as the trainer I get blamed, and get fired. FML

#6761187
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33926) - you deserved it (1853)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:30am - work - by ritualdevice - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML

#6761067
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19270) - you deserved it (5966)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I looked sad. I told him that I found out a co-worker died over the weekend and I failed my final exam. He then informed me that my toilet was clogged again, that he had a lot of work to do, and left. I have to find a plunger. FML

#6760578
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (2650)

On 12/15/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Scat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

#6760576
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22648) - you deserved it (4469)

On 12/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Will (man) - United States

Today, after months of constant encouragement from my friends, I went and entered a singing contest. I sang and was booed off stage. Later on I found out my friends lied to me about my ability to sing, just so I could give them a cheap laugh. FML

#6759322
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25979) - you deserved it (5838)

On 12/15/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Dean (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML

#6758302
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (5475)

On 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the new guy at work - who is probably at least ten years older than I am - admired the photo on my desk of myself with my husband and teenage daughters and asked "Are those your grand-children?" I'm in my 40's. FML

#6755152
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21884) - you deserved it (2302)

On 12/14/2009 at 8:30pm - work - by Shalamar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

#6753816
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21859) - you deserved it (5863)

On 12/14/2009 at 7:00pm - misc - by fire - United States

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

#6753896
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10519) - you deserved it (33263)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

#6753544
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9075) - you deserved it (57959)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

#6753336
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (9459)

On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36773) - you deserved it (2277)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: