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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

#14093907
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27994) - you deserved it (10601)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:53am - kids - by Ed - United States (California)

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72899) - you deserved it (11483)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Sylverstone's comment : Delete the account. Record video of his reaction. Laugh at his pain.

See all the comments →

Today, my boyfriend of eleven months broke up with me, but adamantly insisted I didn't move out of our apartment, because he can't pay the rent alone. FML

#14093587
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30805) - you deserved it (3747)

On 12/05/2010 at 7:48am - love - by Jaded618 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

#14093222
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (9216)

On 12/05/2010 at 6:12am - intimacy - by miiiiilk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my husband's secretary named her new baby boy after my husband. Everyone at the office thinks it's funny. My husband says it's a coincidence. FML

#14092737
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32717) - you deserved it (3141)

On 12/05/2010 at 4:30am - misc - by momoffour (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

 Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML

#14092171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26757) - you deserved it (4014)

On 12/05/2010 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

#14091459
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42290) - you deserved it (4540)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

#14091257
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26632) - you deserved it (5550)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:35am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

#14091137
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35391) - you deserved it (8466)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6647) - you deserved it (64342)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25724) - you deserved it (11375)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

#14087670
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46191) - you deserved it (3806)

On 12/04/2010 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I lost my job. I was so upset that I put in my favorite mix CD of all the songs that get me feeling better. While scanning for my favorite song, I hit the car in front of me. FML

#14087345
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11458) - you deserved it (35210)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)



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