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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML

#6983809
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26147) - you deserved it (4189)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by mikeyamazing - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that my dad is more comfortable talking to the dog than sitting in the same room as me. FML

#6981473
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20553) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/27/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl that I have been secretly madly in love with for 6 years told me "fuck off and stop doing nice things for me." FML

#6980347
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30102) - you deserved it (9332)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

#6979481
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (5791)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

#6978473
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (8970)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by ITalkGood - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43144) - you deserved it (3366)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

#6976804
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25200) - you deserved it (3113)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

#6976718
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (12576)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:25pm - misc - by xMiSS_CuTiEx (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

#6976652
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5761) - you deserved it (46210)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by LaurenLehmmman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31978) - you deserved it (4957)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

#6971374
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30787) - you deserved it (7105)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:19am - love - by porkythighs (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12254) - you deserved it (25267)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML

#6970974
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (2480)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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