Today, my cat was hit by a car. I took it to the vet expecting the worst but they told me that she’d be fine. I was so happy I didn't even mind paying the $50 bill. The next morning my cat was dead. Having her put down humanely would have cost $45, I paid $5 extra to have her die in my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46976) - you deserved it (2728)
On 05/21/2009 at 4:06am - animals - by georgia819 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43558) - you deserved it (1613)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by verycre8tive (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, the three-year-old I was babysitting asked me where my boyfriend was. I told her he was at his house. I'm twenty and single. I lied to a three year old to make myself look less pathetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37087) - you deserved it (9224)
On 05/21/2009 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41000) - you deserved it (6310)
On 05/21/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by GrahamCracker (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14043) - you deserved it (54039)
On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was surprised to learn that I could carry on intelligent conversations about basketball with my guy friends. Then I realized it was because my boyfriend insists on watching ESPN while we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48577) - you deserved it (6104)
On 05/21/2009 at 12:04am - intimacy - by S (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23867) - you deserved it (51292)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I ordered more memory and a new hard drive for my computer. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31472) - you deserved it (6321)
On 05/20/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I made chicken noodle soup for the girl I've been seeing to help her get over her cold. From scratch. Everything fresh save for the canned chicken stock. It took an hour in preparation and half an hour to take the bus to her place. Her first words? The celery's not cooked enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40380) - you deserved it (5125)
On 05/20/2009 at 9:50pm - love - by chickennoodlesoup (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13935) - you deserved it (44749)
On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57037) - you deserved it (4331)
On 05/20/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by disaster... (woman) - United States (New York)
I agree, your life sucks (56245) - you deserved it (2620)
On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman says "nice dog" and without thinking I respond, "you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12148) - you deserved it (31019)
On 05/20/2009 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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