Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65885) - you deserved it (162989)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (109262) - you deserved it (5096)
On 06/02/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by wtf. (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I flew from Chicago to San Francisco to get some of my stuff out of a storage unit. I left the keys for the padlock at home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16754) - you deserved it (37478)
On 06/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by Tom (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my new subletter moved in. Within 6 hours one of my cats took a dump on her pants. I freaked out, lit some candles to hide the smell and threw her pants in the washer. When the cycle was done I found her cell phone at the bottom of the washing machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31796) - you deserved it (16310)
On 06/02/2009 at 11:33am - animals - by dumb (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76287) - you deserved it (5455)
On 06/02/2009 at 8:19am - intimacy - by Ariel (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML
I agree, your life sucks (75175) - you deserved it (2656)
On 06/02/2009 at 8:06am - love - by ThanksMom (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58473) - you deserved it (4582)
On 06/02/2009 at 7:08am - kids - by fallsdownplenty45 (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35573) - you deserved it (3573)
On 06/02/2009 at 7:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40013) - you deserved it (16589)
On 06/02/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by holliefall (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37464) - you deserved it (2759)
On 06/02/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by sierraisfucked (woman) - United States
Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7867) - you deserved it (43445)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:39am - animals - by xacked (man) - United States (California)
Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38293) - you deserved it (16772)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:18am - kids - by failbaby (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I got a call from an ad agency offering me a job. I was so excited, because I've been looking for work for a few months now and really wanted to work for them. An hour later, they called apologizing, because they'd made a mistake and offered the job to the wrong person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43696) - you deserved it (1843)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:05am - work - by smidge (woman) - United States (Utah)
Monday 20 May 2013
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↑ truslide's comment : LMAO must have been a hard kick to do that and even then, why the hell would you kick a cat that hard?
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