Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (4530)
On 06/03/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by j (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45140) - you deserved it (5994)
On 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by canadiankc (man) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I was working at my retail job. A customer stopped me on my way to break saying "someone" had broken a snow globe. She showed me where it was and I cleaned it up with her circling me. I finished and put the cleaning supplies away when I heard a 'crash' as the same woman dropped another snow globe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40437) - you deserved it (1410)
On 06/03/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by kilo1_13 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39602) - you deserved it (1262)
On 06/03/2009 at 8:12pm - health - by stutson (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my sister asked me to help her set up for my niece's birthday party. Being the lazy person that I am, I got my niece to blow up the non-helium balloons. Apparently she's allergic to latex and I'll be the one paying for the hospital bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10667) - you deserved it (47099)
On 06/03/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by ivyleaguebabe (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while taking a drug test for a volunteer job, I found out that I have a "shy bladder". It took me ages to pee into a cup. I was congratulated and clapped for by complete strangers when I finally left for taking a piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34442) - you deserved it (2992)
On 06/03/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by peeepeee. - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54286) - you deserved it (3860)
On 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by doubleds (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39668) - you deserved it (11908)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39837) - you deserved it (10445)
On 06/03/2009 at 11:16am - kids - by rollerSWEETness (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42661) - you deserved it (13611)
On 06/03/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by Kyokushin (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was taken a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through that bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8508) - you deserved it (48140)
On 06/03/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by Unimpressed (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9581) - you deserved it (33846)
On 06/03/2009 at 6:31am - work - by whatzthehell (woman) - Kuwait
Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10657) - you deserved it (41193)
On 06/03/2009 at 6:06am - work - by failedmusician (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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