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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

#18774764
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13636) - you deserved it (33097)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Dockin (man) - India

missamazinggg's comment : Such a pain in the ass.

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Today, I finally managed to get through to the radio station that I always listen to. I handed the phone to my dad so he could win the prize for me, because I'm under 18. He hung up because he thought it was a prank call. FML

#18774683
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31522) - you deserved it (4382)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Andrew7847 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent five dollars on a virtual cat. FML

deviable's comment : Why not just give a real one a home and adopt?

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Today, I had to cancel my wedding. On top of being upset about the break up, I was informed I owed a $900 cancellation fee for not using the venue. Single and broke. FML

#18774558
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35404) - you deserved it (3884)

On 01/11/2012 at 11:31am - money - by metalflower01 - United States

Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML

#18773775
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28158) - you deserved it (6003)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:51am - health - by Fluffy - United States (Indiana)

Pentium_4's comment : hey buddy, you're putting in the effort. more than some kids can say! a lot give up

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Today, I had gum surgery. I can't laugh. I can't smile. I can't talk. I can't eat. All I can do is wait for the pain medication to kick in. FML

#18773040
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30011) - you deserved it (2520)

On 01/11/2012 at 3:03am - health - by In Pain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

#18772974
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28238) - you deserved it (2309)

On 01/11/2012 at 2:47am - animals - by GrossedOut (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15627) - you deserved it (35210)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

#18772081
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30760) - you deserved it (3571)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by RatFailure (woman) - United States

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh apparently. FML

#18770339
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36035) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/10/2012 at 9:52pm - health - by barface - United States (Texas)

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

#18769573
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28639) - you deserved it (2702)

On 01/10/2012 at 8:40pm - work - by lions214 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told a co-worker to "lighten up, and stop wearing black all the time, it makes you look depressed." I didn't know his father had died the week before. FML

#18769470
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10647) - you deserved it (39705)

On 01/10/2012 at 8:32pm - work - by Jim (man) - Belgium

Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML

#18768991
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12945) - you deserved it (36203)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:37pm - money - by Voltron - United States



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