Today, I had a piano exam. My friend noticed how nervous I was, and recommended that I compliment the examiner for higher marks. When it was time for the exam, without thinking, I told him I liked his hair. Turns out bald people don't like that. FML
by p / 08/28/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by annoyed / 08/28/2012 at 1:50pm / United States (Nevada) / Money
Today, wanting to be on time for my first job interview, I woke up at the crack of dawn and walked almost an hour through a thunderstorm. When I arrived, I was told that the manager wasn't in today, because of the bad weather. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I learned that several thousand people in my state got tickets this month for driving and talking on the phone. My mom called to tell me this while I was driving. I'm now part of that statistic. Thanks, mom. FML
by ticketed / 08/28/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
trqskq's comment : Your mother didn't make you pick up the phone whilst you were driving though. YDI.
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
by StillBetterThanTwilight / 08/28/2012 at 11:56am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML
by tutusaurus / 08/28/2012 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Love
MsConfusedd's comment : Well if she's that dumb, you can definately do better.
Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML
by gotta love my momma / 08/28/2012 at 1:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
smallfrie32's comment : Well honesty should always be something we strive for, but at least you had the intention of keeping your husband's family happy.
Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML
by calivianya / 08/28/2012 at 12:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by anonya / 08/28/2012 at 12:43am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by spekledworf / 08/27/2012 at 10:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by arh / 08/27/2012 at 8:10pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML
by Mandi / 08/27/2012 at 8:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work