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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

#13550544
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (2235)

On 10/22/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, my boyfriend of three months told me that he had cheated on me two months ago with my best friend. I decided to give him a second chance. About twenty minutes later, he then broke up with me for not wanting to watch football. Apparently I don't care about his feelings. FML

#13548959
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23630) - you deserved it (10730)

On 10/22/2010 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML

#13548383
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7122) - you deserved it (23586)

On 10/22/2010 at 9:26am - work - by soapypete (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my co-worker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

#13547625
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19200) - you deserved it (1774)

On 10/22/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML

#13547239
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6159) - you deserved it (23859)

On 10/22/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

#13544893
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39772) - you deserved it (2127)

On 10/22/2010 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend told me on facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from facebook for iPhone." FML

#13543408
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34751) - you deserved it (3965)

On 10/21/2010 at 10:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28045) - you deserved it (4363)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML

#13539571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26058) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML

#13539413
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9987) - you deserved it (34787)

On 10/21/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the memory card our engagement photos were taken on has been corrupted, so all the images are lost. The guy who took the pictures said that this has never happened to him in the eight years that he's been a photographer. FML

Today, I found a parking ticket on my car. Out of five cars who were in violation of the same infraction, I was the only one who received a ticket. FML

#13538195
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (7603)

On 10/21/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML

#13537704
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7788) - you deserved it (38990)

On 10/21/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by Victoria - United States (Georgia)



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