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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

#15252423
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43293) - you deserved it (4193)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

#15252326
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47291) - you deserved it (3244)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by sosad -

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

#15251582
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40627) - you deserved it (4396)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

#15251436
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16295) - you deserved it (38268)

On 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by anonymouse - Reserved

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48190) - you deserved it (4317)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

#15250812
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34873) - you deserved it (18350)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by prdept. (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML

#15250460
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34902) - you deserved it (6914)

On 03/09/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46023) - you deserved it (4206)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

#15248792
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39534) - you deserved it (5724)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:04am - love - by Username -

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37890) - you deserved it (6419)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML

#15248393
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42620) - you deserved it (4044)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:27am - love - by life_isnt_fair (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML

#15247228
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36502) - you deserved it (3336)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Cashier (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I accidentally forgot my glasses in a store bathroom. When I finally noticed, I went back to find that someone was wearing them as he was walking out of the store. I didn't have the balls to call him out on it. FML

#15244433
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10533) - you deserved it (42675)

On 03/08/2011 at 9:23pm - misc - by Trippy Penguin -



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