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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I discovered that my wife isn't cheating on me after all, as I'd feared. We just don't have sex any more. FML

#14748187
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28091) - you deserved it (6437)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by ohyey (man) - Norway (Vest-Agder)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

#14747577
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8414) - you deserved it (104478)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States

ohhjenn's comment : you deserve it for being a cheater!

See all the comments →

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

#14743872
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11611) - you deserved it (38976)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML

#14743806
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26789) - you deserved it (12757)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML

#14743566
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26372) - you deserved it (2700)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:26pm - health - by Damn.... (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

#14742735
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (3056)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by bittenbyadonkey (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML

#14742599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28310) - you deserved it (4108)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

#14742129
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30006) - you deserved it (3689)

On 01/28/2011 at 10:43am - misc - by NotoriousSRJ (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

#14741730
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36955) - you deserved it (8167)

On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, at work, a homeless woman called me trash, threw her coffee at me, and told me to get a job. I do have a job. It's homeless outreach. FML

#14740890
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27735) - you deserved it (2865)

On 01/28/2011 at 6:44am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

#14740703
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20241) - you deserved it (3997)

On 01/28/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by Florida_1827 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML

#14740346
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (4972)

On 01/28/2011 at 4:12am - love - by ashdk -

Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML

#14739407
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25215) - you deserved it (5182)

On 01/28/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by snappyPi -



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