Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML

#14136515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25463) - you deserved it (5552)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

#14136075
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33846) - you deserved it (2620)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:26pm - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next to it. I flipped off the audience. FML

#14136007
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10517) - you deserved it (20233)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent ages at CVS waiting for a flu shot. The main cause of holdup was a disagreement between the pharmacist and the insurance company over 4 cents. FML

#14135848
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21599) - you deserved it (2248)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after studying all night for an exam, I ran out to catch the bus. On my way to the bus, my hair got caught in a branch for some minutes. Thinking I'd missed the bus but thankfully didn't, I went on. A few minutes later I remembered that my exam had been postponed for 3 hours today. FML

#14133730
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18997) - you deserved it (9249)

On 12/08/2010 at 6:09pm - misc - by gudmarjoh (woman) - Iceland

Today, I realized that the only time I've ever been noticed by my classmates is when I brought cake for the potluck. FML

#14133320
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (2817)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Invisible - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got feedback on an essay I wrote, by my mum who is also a teacher. She said it was 'worse than most of her pupils'. She teaches 10-year-olds. I'm a 20-year-old student at university. FML

#14132793
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11350) - you deserved it (17893)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML

#14130946
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9354) - you deserved it (29146)

On 12/08/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML

#14130272
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (2727)

On 12/08/2010 at 10:24am - misc - by agstadra (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

#14130110
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26411) - you deserved it (3355)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:56am - health - by scratchy (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47349) - you deserved it (5517)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, a customer left their cell phone behind. I tried to see if there were any pictures so that I could identify them. No, I still don't know what they look like, but I have seen their penis. FML

#14129124
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (16143)

On 12/08/2010 at 6:47am - intimacy - by khaelian -

Today, I held a presentation about my masters thesis. Turns out, my professor never ever actually read the drafts I'd given him, but decided to rip me to pieces in front of everyone, saying that the topic isn't worth researching. I've been working on it for six months. FML

#14128873
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31241) - you deserved it (2291)

On 12/08/2010 at 5:30am - work - by nograd4mee (woman) - Germany



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: