Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

#16081373
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37320) - you deserved it (11931)

On 05/07/2011 at 6:27pm - misc - by Mel (man) - United States (New Jersey)

DivineGarden's comment : Sounds like a shitty situation.

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Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML

#16080976
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24590) - you deserved it (4460)

On 05/07/2011 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25122) - you deserved it (3351)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML

#16077994
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23201) - you deserved it (9417)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by Cheerieful - United States

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14282) - you deserved it (84371)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

CryMoreFMLs's comment : It happens to the... um... what was I saying... Damn, I forgot.

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Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

#16076748
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41994) - you deserved it (6914)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)

ollie179's comment : what's her channel name?

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Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend had blonde hair, big boobs and wore a skimpy black dress. He wasn't 100% sure of her name. I guess I drove home my date's one night stand. FML

#16076552
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34847) - you deserved it (11030)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by lawl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML

#16076129
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38382) - you deserved it (2911)

On 05/07/2011 at 7:54am - love - by bigcityfail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that I frequently argue with myself and respond back. FML

#16075274
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (12223)

On 05/07/2011 at 3:08am - misc - by sillyfox4lyfe (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

#16075095
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10809) - you deserved it (45285)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:40am - misc - by Kaz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13470) - you deserved it (57176)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, at 2 in the morning, my water broke. I called my mom and woke her up to come watch our older kid, while my husband and I went to the hospital. After being tested at the hospital, I was told I had just peed myself. FML

#16074801
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41222) - you deserved it (8173)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:58am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

#16074104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18363) - you deserved it (41344)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)



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