Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, we got a speeding ticket in the mail with my drunk daughter's picture on it. She was waving at the camera. FML

#14584296
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (4745)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (2940)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15673) - you deserved it (75377)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, I mailed out a college application that is going to another country. I paid $250 for the application and $11 for shipping. I just realized that I forgot to sign the bottom of the application. FML

#14581374
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11787) - you deserved it (27405)

On 01/14/2011 at 8:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

#14580215
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15639) - you deserved it (27640)

On 01/14/2011 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

#14579173
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24184) - you deserved it (4715)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML

#14578996
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20222) - you deserved it (2433)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by hoops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML

#14578612
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6914) - you deserved it (107032)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:43pm - money - by calidumbass - United States

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

#14577933
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30383) - you deserved it (14326)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a friend asked me to come with her to the art building at school, so I could pose in the stance of a figure she was drawing for her exam. I obliged and sat for the pose. When the art teacher walked by she looked at me, then at the sketch, pointed to the legs and said, "make them fatter". FML

#14577178
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (3818)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:28am - misc - by humiliated (woman) - United Kingdom (East Ayrshire)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs. The guy behind me was kind enough to ask if I was okay. He then called his friends over so they could laugh at me. FML

#14576368
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21938) - you deserved it (2581)

On 01/14/2011 at 9:18am - misc - by ValeyFallsAlot -

Today, I got off work and checked my makeup in the mirror once I got in my car. I had a huge piece of spinach on my front tooth that no one told me about. I work the front desk of an upscale hotel and have been greeting guests all day. FML

#14575299
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22760) - you deserved it (4794)

On 01/14/2011 at 5:11am - work - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17424) - you deserved it (30758)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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