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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28405) - you deserved it (5621)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I fell and got a nasty cut above my right eye. The doctor in the ER sealed the wound with surgical glue. He also glued his glove to my eyebrow, and let glue run onto my eyelid. Not only do I have a scar and medical bill, I now have no eyebrow or eyelashes on my right eye. FML

#14488481
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (2113)

On 01/06/2011 at 7:26pm - health - by Dante -

Today, a kid grabbed the receiver to my cochlear implant and ran off with it. I went to a security guard, and, if my lip reading was accurate, he said to "try and make it through the day without it". Without it, I can't hear anything. FML

#14487466
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34121) - you deserved it (2053)

On 01/06/2011 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, in gym class, we were forced to learn the "Hoedown Throwdown" dance, by Miley Cyrus. This will actually be counted toward my grade. I'm in high school. FML

#14487590
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37368) - you deserved it (3963)

On 01/06/2011 at 5:57pm - misc - by UltraHoe69 - United States

Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

#14486869
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7957) - you deserved it (41768)

On 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today, for the first time ever, my boyfriend of one year told me he loved me. He was calling me by collect call from the county jail. FML

#14485086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26179) - you deserved it (5606)

On 01/06/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

#14484752
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24981) - you deserved it (2276)

On 01/06/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML

#14484091
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41764) - you deserved it (2422)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:54am - health - by omfgitburns (man) -

Today, I was at the nursing home I work at, and my boss asked me if I'm serious about my job, telling me that I've been acting strange and not working hard enough. She wants to drug test me. The real reason I'm not 100% is because I have a stomach ulcer from the stress of working there. FML

#14483355
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23135) - you deserved it (2178)

On 01/06/2011 at 7:21am - work - by sick (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had a panic attack at 2am because someone decided to throw a snowball at my window. FML

#14482649
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20265) - you deserved it (6135)

On 01/06/2011 at 3:58am - health - by nuerrotticc -

Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML

#14482279
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34435) - you deserved it (2062)

On 01/06/2011 at 2:49am - money - by Username -

Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML

#14482213
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26413) - you deserved it (9253)

On 01/06/2011 at 2:35am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

#14482028
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20938) - you deserved it (10181)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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