Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I found out my bank charged me $50 for not having any money. Way to go bank, way to go. FML

#21472001
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25321) - you deserved it (3910)

On 09/23/2015 at 9:21pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was waiting in the McDonald's drive-thru and listening to some music. I was tapping my non-driving foot to the song when I accidentally tapped the wrong foot and rear ended the cop car in front of me. Whoops. FML

#21471997
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11402) - you deserved it (26092)

On 09/23/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by stardustveins (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

#21471971
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you deserved it (1627)

On 09/23/2015 at 7:56pm - misc - by KindaLooksLikeCocaine (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss interviewed a prospective employee, my ex-girlfriend. My psycho ex, a kleptomaniac, thinks she's qualified to be a Security Guard. Her background check agrees. FML

Today, my boss quit, leaving me as the only structural engineer at my company. I'm fresh out of college and will have to finish the projects on my own. Hope Google can teach me how to do this. FML

#21471843
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24037) - you deserved it (1712)

On 09/23/2015 at 1:09pm - work - by ImAnEngineer (woman) - United States (New York)

nzhx's comment : Being the only one, you would be considered the head of structural engineering, correct? So request a meeting with the heads of your company and talk about hiring some new recruits, or at least sending you to a proper training.

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Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML

#21471822
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26593) - you deserved it (4068)

On 09/23/2015 at 11:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

haiku575's comment : Sounds like you need to have a bit of a talk about compassion...

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Today, my boss told me I have to start work 4 hours early tomorrow, because that my coworker, who happens to be his son, will not be coming in because he's "too tired". I work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week without complaining. His son works two 4-hour shifts a week. FML

#21471810
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (1676)

On 09/23/2015 at 11:05am - work - by nepotwatism @ its finest (woman) - Sweden (Hallands Lan)

BntyHntrSeattle's comment : If you can, put your foot down. Your mental health is just as important as his lazy son's.

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Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML

#21471789
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23119) - you deserved it (1567)

On 09/23/2015 at 9:24am - misc - by Colin Jr. (man) - United States

Today, I came across the word "pegging". Not knowing what it meant, I googled it and got a very graphic explanation. Seconds later, I realised that the webpage URL actually included the sexual nature of the meaning. The IT department have logs of every page we visit. FML

#21471776
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21735) - you deserved it (7386)

On 09/23/2015 at 8:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Malta

Today, my ex came out as transgender. I had absolutely no problem with this, in fact I celebrated her bravery. What I did have a problem with was all my friends immediately assuming that this was the reason I broke up with her, and not that she'd cheated on me for 6 months. FML

#21471735
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (1764)

On 09/23/2015 at 4:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML

#21471529
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26408) - you deserved it (1770)

On 09/22/2015 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, there was a big party at my workplace. The only person that was socializing with me in any way was my co-workers 4-year-old daughter. Before leaving, she drew smiley faces on plastic plates and napkins and gave them to me so I "will have some friends and not be all alone". FML

#21471520
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23818) - you deserved it (1802)

On 09/22/2015 at 5:40pm - misc - by ForeverAlone - Ukraine



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