by NotHungryAnymore / 03/01/2016 at 10:46am / United States (New York) / Work
by Puddlepop / 03/01/2016 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Ashamed_Sister's comment : I'm sure he was a man.
Today, while at a big speech and debate tournament, I corrected the judge's use of the word "podium" instead of lectern, because that's what my debate coach had told me was the correct usage. Well, she didn't take it too well and neither did my partner. Or my debate coach. FML
by Judgeisalwaysright / 03/01/2016 at 3:57am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
fakedsincerity's comment : Correcting the judge in front of everyone is kind of a dick move. A judge is there as some sort of expert and authority figure and to undermine them doesn't look good for your score.
Today, my sister got her car insurance quote in the mail. You would think it would go way up after being charged with reckless driving. It went up $1 per month. My insurance went up $100 per month after I tapped someone's bumper a year ago. I wasn't even charged. FML
by why does the world hate me / 03/01/2016 at 1:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Money
jake131000's comment : Let's just say that it really depends on the person. The credit score and claims history is most important. It also depends on the quality of the insurance company. I'm Jake and I work at State Farm.
Today, while working as a hostess in a restaurant, an old lady complained to the manager that I was on heroin because she could see all the track marks on my arms. I was actually fighting a staph infection and the "track marks" were where my IV had been placed. My manager told me to cover it up. FML
by kfeath1 / 03/01/2016 at 12:36am / Health
Today, I hung out with some old friends for the first time since losing about 50 pounds, going from clinically obese to a healthy weight. I even bought a cute new dress for the occasion to show off my new body. No one noticed the change. FML
by Anonymous / 02/29/2016 at 5:56pm / United States (California) / Health
by well damn / 02/29/2016 at 5:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML
by Spraylady / 02/29/2016 at 4:45pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Sir Anon / 02/29/2016 at 3:18pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
Today, I was woken by the sound of music coming from my living room at 1:30 am. My cat had managed to turn on the stereo and turn the volume all the way up. Just as I fell asleep again, there was a knock at the door. The police showed up about a noise complaint. FML
by elguapo3745 / 02/29/2016 at 1:20pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
by PizzaPants / 02/29/2016 at 1:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by kayla53 / 02/29/2016 at 11:17am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy