Today, after living for a while with my husband and our cat, I'm still not sure which of the two leaves the most hairs strewn around the house. FML

by Lanthane / 03/31/2016 at 2:00am / France (Aquitaine) / Animals

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

by sadfantasy / 03/31/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Weasely's comment : Just because someones mentally challenged doesn't mean this type of behavior should be allowed. I can't believe the amount of comments that think this is fine. What if he decides to do something more disgusting or extreme?

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Today, I checked my Tumblr account to see if anyone had commented on the photos of my new tattoo. There were only 3 posts, and 2 of them were people linking it to "Awful Tattoo" blogs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 2:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

hipposteve's comment : Was the tattoo for You or for showing off? Just enjoy it, you already paid for it.

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Today, I got into a car accident with my boss, and he asked if I could come to work the next day. I'm in the hospital and he knows it. FML

by stupidboss / 03/30/2016 at 11:23pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Soninuva's comment : This is where you get HR involved, regardless of whom was at fault in the accident (though especially if it was your boss that was).

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Today, someone accused me of stuffing my bra when some tissue fell out. I was too embarrassed to tell them I wasn't stuffing, the tissue was used to sop up my boob sweat. FML

by sunkissedevil / 03/30/2016 at 10:52pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to 7-11, where the cashier asked me if I had the app to get rewards. She then looked at me and said, "Never mind, I can tell you don't." I guess I have no control over my resting bitch face. FML

by anon / 03/30/2016 at 9:09pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, the only constant person in my life is the guy that smokes outside my apartment building. FML

by Is_This_Real / 03/30/2016 at 4:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss finally checked the presentation I have been working on for three weeks. She called me into her office, and told me everything was dreadful, and requested me to start from scratch. It's due in half an hour. FML

by WorkWeirdo / 03/30/2016 at 4:26pm / Peru (Lima) / Work

Today, I went to my new dentist to get my teeth cleaned. He kept getting distracted, causing him to repeatedly stab me in the gums. He then had the nerve to tell me that I need to brush more, due to how I was bleeding just from his "routine examination". FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 1:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I was at the mall with my mom, when I saw a little pamphlet about a charity for abused children. I showed her and said I was going to donate a few dollars. She quickly said no, calling it a waste of money and muttering that the kids probably deserved it anyway. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 2:53am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 3 years. She responded by drinking all the alcohol in sight, falling unconscious and pissing herself. Six hours later, she said that I was too immature and that's why it would never work. FML

by random guy / 03/30/2016 at 2:49am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I discovered that my Dad's family very much supports Donald Trump. They tried to convince me to support his campaign by donating money. We're not even American. FML

by MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain / 03/30/2016 at 1:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous