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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

#21353835
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34629) - you deserved it (4060)

On 02/11/2015 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Yupppp. (woman) - United States (New York)

mellajella's comment : At least it's not an untreatable STD.

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Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML

#21353788
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15815) - you deserved it (33979)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:58pm - misc - by randomdude3890 - United States (Nebraska)

RobinGoodfellow's comment : There's a difference between caring about grammar and being a dick about it. Learn some manners.

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Today, I found out my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me it ran away. I can't be mad at my dad; he's been dead for 5 years. FML

#21353772
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32790) - you deserved it (2332)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm - animals - by jackskellington - Australia (New South Wales)

stryder9090's comment : Silly Dad, rabbits are for kids.

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Today, I found out the only reason my parents want me to live with them is because of the tax refund. FML

#21353677
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (2435)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:26pm - money - by Firewielder (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32052) - you deserved it (3266)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML

#21353566
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34637) - you deserved it (2334)

On 02/10/2015 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my roommates told me they want me to move out of our apartment. We would have never gotten the apartment without my credit score, and most of the furniture is mine. FML

#21353380
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33367) - you deserved it (2341)

On 02/10/2015 at 1:05pm - misc - by ididn'tevendoanythingwrong - United States (Florida)

Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

#21353290
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26779) - you deserved it (17888)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:51am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling a little down, so I tried to console her. She said she just needed space and I respected that. Then an hour later she was fine, so I asked how she did it. She replied that she talked to her ex for a whole hour. This is a common procedure. FML

#21353256
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36128) - you deserved it (4365)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:59am - love - by krh14 - United States (Maryland)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML

#21353086
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (4995)

On 02/09/2015 at 11:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML

#21353037
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30892) - you deserved it (2392)

On 02/09/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by EMTGirl'sLife - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML

#21353006
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29443) - you deserved it (2869)

On 02/09/2015 at 9:32pm - misc - by LunaCrow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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Friday 26 June 2015

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