Today, I practiced my drum playing in the garage instead of my room out of consideration for my neighbors. Guess the consideration wasn't mutual, because one of my neighbors just shot a hole in one of my drums with an air gun. FML
by drummerboy / 06/06/2016 at 8:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
potatocouch's comment : I think the best solution is to shoot back and see where it hits.
by Fido / 06/06/2016 at 7:58am / United States / Kids
potatocouch's comment : Hey, at least your child thinks it's long enough to be considered a "tail".
by spadesmollusques / 06/06/2016 at 1:13am / France (Alsace) / Kids
potatocouch's comment : Make sure to pass "Tom" the salt.
by Anonymous / 06/06/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
by fat teen / 06/05/2016 at 7:33pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2-month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk when they make a noise. My fridge stated beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, 'It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright.' FML
by Babyhazy / 06/05/2016 at 5:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggest that she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill myself because of my severe medical condition". FML
by really / 06/05/2016 at 5:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML
by Scammed / 06/05/2016 at 2:26pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Money
by meish / 06/05/2016 at 9:16am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Carnage23 / 06/05/2016 at 8:38am / Germany (Hessen) / Kids
by Dmessmer1 / 06/05/2016 at 4:37am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, my best friend since first grade, who I've been in love with for years and finally hooked up with last week, asked me for advice. He wanted to know if he should start a long distance relationship with a girl he hooked up with last night. FML
by BG1059 / 06/04/2016 at 10:19pm / United States (Texas) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…