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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

#21374137
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31847) - you deserved it (3572)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm - misc - by Eddy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

peceout's comment : I'm guessing it wasn't cereal.

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Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (17899)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States

skippydoda's comment : Why would you go to a costume party if you are going to boycott the theme?

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Today, I ate a wonderful meal, after which I fell asleep on my couch and had a dream that my husband was passionately kissing me. I woke up to realize it was actually my cat licking bits of food out of my teeth. FML

Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with my life? FML

#21373875
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (24674)

On 03/13/2015 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

abNormal62's comment : Everyone needs a hobby... Don't beat yourself up over it!

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Today, I found out my husband has been sleeping with one of the women in our marriage counselling group. FML

#21373841
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36355) - you deserved it (2691)

On 03/13/2015 at 2:47pm - love - by scared and alone (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, after weeks of oral pain and hundreds of dollars in dentistry fees, we found the culprit: a popcorn kernel that floss was unable to remove. FML

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

#21373752
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (155) - you deserved it (2137)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:02am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I am too good to be promoted. FML

#21373611
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34891) - you deserved it (2754)

On 03/13/2015 at 2:21am - work - by hard work doesn't work - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

#21373551
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (3878)

On 03/13/2015 at 12:19am - health - by numbtongue - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

#21373531
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27329) - you deserved it (3005)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:55pm - animals - by psh_idontbite (woman) - United States

Today, I was so hungry when I finished work that I grabbed some chips to eat on the bus home. The guy who sat next to me spat in them as he left to get off. FML

#21373490
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (222) - you deserved it (13)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Metallurge - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, in my online class I accidentally unmuted my mic. Normally that would be fine except today I decided to serenade myself with a silly song. I didn't realize until everyone started clapping at the end of the song. FML

#21373396
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (6310)

On 03/12/2015 at 8:39pm - misc - by acapelladisaster - United States (Indiana)



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