Today, my husband and I both got smart watches. We were running around, acting like we were in a James Bond movie, having fun. Until our neighbors called the cops on us for hiding in their bushes. FML
by nykkymcallister / 05/18/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (Maryland) / Geek
magiotti's comment : You and your husband sound like you have a great relationship!
Today, I left the windows open because I live in Florida without air conditioning because the asshole landlord won't fix it. There was nice cool air from the rain. I've killed about 100 flying ants that have made their way inside. Now I have a hot house with closed windows and flying ants. FML
by Ants everywhere but my pants / 05/18/2016 at 10:35pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by sociallyawkward / 05/18/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Money
Today, I took my AP US History exam. For some reason, my school let the school nurse proctor the exam. She read the instructions for the wrong test and told us to seal up our tests, despite having another section left in that book. She wouldn't listen to us when we tried to tell her. FML
by soccerswim20 / 05/18/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
1991stealth's comment : Tell the teacher and maybe you'll get to take it again. If everyone's missing the same section, something is obviously wrong.
by CarouselHeart / 05/18/2016 at 4:09pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Health
by ash / 05/18/2016 at 4:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
iwin8166's comment : I think this was just meant to be a sarcastic little Fml and it made me laugh. Quit looking for some deeper meaning people.
by lifedownthegutter / 05/18/2016 at 2:21pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by aviationgeek / 05/18/2016 at 2:18pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, fourth day of vacation in paradise, I’m in Bali, Indonesia. I’m suffering from a violent turista. Between two attacks, I found by miracle a diosmectite that I drank bottom up. It was tap water. FML
Today, I got my grades back. I got a very poor evaluation for my lit class, which was odd because it didn't match the impression from my end-of-class meeting with the professor. It does, however, include a nod to the supposedly-anonymous negative class review I gave her, though. FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2016 at 1:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, a TV crew filmed my house for a real estate show. They got an actor to pretend he owned the place but wanted to move. The host kept saying how shit my house is, and while talking about me with his producer, he said "Know how I know he ain't a fag? Fags can actually decorate." FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2016 at 10:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous