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Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40911) - you deserved it (8315)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

magicman13's comment : He is a keeper OP.

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Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

zBLAKEz's comment : Tell the manager that they should put away the crib if they don't still sell it.

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Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41014) - you deserved it (3806)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37832) - you deserved it (14082)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40848) - you deserved it (10297)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Enslaved's comment : Or they thought it was a pussy purring?

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Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

#21048143
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41949) - you deserved it (5714)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

#21048094
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41035) - you deserved it (3576)

On 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

#21048056
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39429) - you deserved it (8041)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:53am - misc - by deargodthepain (man) - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was when I figured out that my little brother's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. FML

#21048030
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (6982)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by LarissaT18 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally received the last check from my insurance company after my house flooded 10 months ago. Tonight my house flooded again. FML

#21047933
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46078) - you deserved it (3857)

On 02/02/2014 at 6:32am - love - by itwasalongnight -

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

#21047796
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40579) - you deserved it (6275)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38488) - you deserved it (3926)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States



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