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Today, my boyfriend told me he'd come over and help me move a heavy dresser so I could paint the wall behind it. After an hour of waiting for him, I decided to move it myself. He finally arrived, not ten minutes after I broke my toe when I accidentally dropped the dresser on it. FML

#21330063
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (8910)

On 01/03/2015 at 12:53pm - health - by ko (woman) -

aclark2523's comment : Why didn't you at least call him?

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Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

#21329874
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40649) - you deserved it (8433)

On 01/03/2015 at 5:48am - love - by JJ_V3N0M - United States (California)

molly471's comment : Damn, hopefully the restaurant had security cameras.

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JuliaaNoelle's comment : If it's any consolation, I didn't get invited anywhere either, OP.

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Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML

#21329685
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20162) - you deserved it (14022)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:04pm - health - by mosaicevolution (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

#21329640
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26810) - you deserved it (4031)

On 01/02/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by whatajerk (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancée and I were making plans for our wedding when my soon-to-be mother-in-law chimed in with, "You know, she can still get out of this. I got the dress for her but we can save it for the next guy." I'm not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#21329587
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (1990)

On 01/02/2015 at 8:46pm - love - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

#21329522
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27427) - you deserved it (2200)

On 01/02/2015 at 7:11pm - animals - by cat co-parent - Australia

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

#21329484
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29432) - you deserved it (2095)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

#21329473
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29133) - you deserved it (8610)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34442) - you deserved it (6822)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML

#21329401
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30505) - you deserved it (2071)

On 01/02/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by tokinallday - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32192) - you deserved it (2438)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (2400)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)



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