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Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML

#21337685
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17101) - you deserved it (14894)

On 01/15/2015 at 3:30pm - animals - by surprise - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my nutjob girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my best friend, just because she's a woman. Before she left, my now-ex decided to punish me by destroying the dissertation I've spent months working on, along with both backups of it. FML

#21337587
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35137) - you deserved it (3851)

On 01/15/2015 at 12:23pm - love - by Can I press charges? (man) - Australia (Queensland)

kangx1's comment : I'm sure you could find a way to sue her sorry ass. I'm sorry op but women like this need to grow the fuck up or stay single and not procreate.

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Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML

#21337533
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (4571)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

bored359's comment : I'm sure they could help with that!

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Today, at the train station a woman's baggage had gotten stuck in the ticket barriers, so I used my ticket to unlock the barriers for her but told her to wait so I could get through too. She didn't wait. And I got painfully stuck in the barriers whilst I watched my train go by. FML

#21337468
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (3235)

On 01/15/2015 at 6:35am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

flufee2's comment : What a bitchh

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Today, I have bad adult acne. This wouldn't be so bad, except that it's only on one side of my face. I look like a Batman villain. FML

#21337414
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28294) - you deserved it (2202)

On 01/15/2015 at 2:28am - health - by twoface_chick - United States (California)

Today, I was faced with the inevitable horrible circumstances which lead me to put in a tampon on a moving city bus. FML

#21337228
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30141) - you deserved it (4531)

On 01/14/2015 at 9:18pm - misc - by bloody_hell (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (6017)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got banned from my school library after I ran after a guy who stole my bag. FML

#21337080
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28388) - you deserved it (1775)

On 01/14/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by Skazzy3 (man) -

Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML

#21337071
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32499) - you deserved it (2431)

On 01/14/2015 at 4:48pm - love - by SouthPaw (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20892) - you deserved it (36174)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML

#21336949
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (7174)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:35pm - love - by ihateeverything (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML

#21336915
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27267) - you deserved it (4040)

On 01/14/2015 at 10:35am - work - by kronic1990 - United Kingdom



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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