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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were "I hope you have insurance". FML

#21410548
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (1828)

On 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm - misc - by hendrixisgod86 (man) - United States (Florida)

1DisGR8's comment : At least you know you're a great human being for asking if he was okay even though you're the one who almost got killed!

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Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML

#21410455
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (3461)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:58am - misc - by Anon - United States (Minnesota)

gquagmire's comment : Just googled it, and pineapples are in fact, a fusion of berries. YDI OP.

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Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

#21410356
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (2332)

On 05/15/2015 at 1:40am - love - by bluestripedsockm - United States (California)

Liamj774's comment : Damn, that's really the worst type of person. But be glad he's out of you your life.

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Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

#21410138
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29749) - you deserved it (4196)

On 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm - love - by what even - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my wife confided in a coworker that she wants to sleep with him, because our marriage is loveless and sexless. News to me. FML

#21410043
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29378) - you deserved it (2658)

On 05/14/2015 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by semokco (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29854) - you deserved it (2208)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32218) - you deserved it (7060)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, all of my roommates handed in their vacating notice unexpectedly. They are all moving to a new house together in two weeks, leaving me to be either homeless or forced to pay 4 times what I was paying in rent. FML

#21409927
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30796) - you deserved it (3535)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:41am - money - by sparkyjaf - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

#21409835
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28699) - you deserved it (2150)

On 05/14/2015 at 1:11am - animals - by cricketsins (woman) - United States

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23625) - you deserved it (5798)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, my friends told me they will be unable to attend my birthday party on Friday because they'll be watching the Vampire Diaries finale. FML

#21409757
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27048) - you deserved it (3006)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm - misc - by Muralove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a friend request on Facebook. It's from the person who crashed into my car earlier in the month. It's funny that she doesn't return my calls or messages, but liked my status about the accident. FML

#21409756
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27256) - you deserved it (1806)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by iamgodzilla (man) - United States (Maryland)



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