Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54476) - you deserved it (3321)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35618) - you deserved it (2484)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39331) - you deserved it (7542)
On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (7084)
On 05/15/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by lackadaisy_leah - United States
Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35215) - you deserved it (8181)
On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44690) - you deserved it (7918)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)
↑ Peanut's comment : So money AND sex. What's the problem?
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38121) - you deserved it (8495)
On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)
↑ PlayTheGame24's comment : Because those clothes define you as a murderer.... Stupid judgmental people these days
Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38684) - you deserved it (4885) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/15/2013 at 2:58am - misc - by grossesfesses (woman) - France (Picardie)
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (3198)
On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37138) - you deserved it (1983)
On 05/15/2013 at 2:21am - health - by the only sober one (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (5553)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45213) - you deserved it (2583)
Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39676) - you deserved it (2145)
On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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↑ AnthonyWheeler15's comment : Move on OP. You deserve better.
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