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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I cut my hair short and he didn't want people to think he was gay. FML

#21275799
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33392) - you deserved it (6583)

On 10/11/2014 at 8:11pm - misc - by dykerino (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I knocked over and broke one of two very expensive wine bottles. As I was using the mop to clean it up, the handle knocked over and broke the other. FML

#21275769
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27967) - you deserved it (7781)

On 10/11/2014 at 7:04pm - misc - by ojskyguy - United States (Mississippi)

kAPISH's comment : What if he beeps louder than you? Does that make you beep louder than him? And set this in infinite loop?

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Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

#21275511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38649) - you deserved it (2977)

On 10/11/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by Forge (man) - United States (Michigan)

pwnman's comment : that is beyond creepy if anyone buys those

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Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35992) - you deserved it (4867)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

logic368's comment : I guess you're not really fucked after all...

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Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, my son was crying because he's afraid he might get Ebola. We live in Maine, and he's 16. FML

Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML

#21275167
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35808) - you deserved it (2834)

On 10/10/2014 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by housewiththinwalls - Sweden

Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML

#21275140
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (2457)

On 10/10/2014 at 6:34pm - work - by shatfjord (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31127) - you deserved it (18250)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30976) - you deserved it (14279)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

#21275034
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (5633)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by TalkDirtyToMe - New Zealand

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

#21275026
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32228) - you deserved it (2922)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by JulietMarie - United States (New York)



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Friday 24 October 2014

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