Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

#21298539
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (6488)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:04pm - misc - by Jakeok (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

#21298459
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27092) - you deserved it (5472)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by HoobidibooFox (woman) - United Kingdom (Dudley)

AlaskanG's comment : Locks help with that as well.

See all the comments →

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40400) - you deserved it (2998)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

devildog562's comment : Arachnophobia. That truly sucks op. Time to get the flamethrowers and poison grenades.

See all the comments →

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML

#21298350
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35090) - you deserved it (4134)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Western Cape)

thekryken's comment : Wow. Maybe she should take the 'hint' that you love her and not freak out about a ring.

See all the comments →

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (2060)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

#21298320
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (2826)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML

#21298300
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (2571)

On 11/13/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by FuglyBetty (woman) - Norway (Aust-Agder)

Today, one of the patients on the mental health unit where I work looked me up and down and said; "Well, I guess it's a popular misconception that all fat people are jolly." FML

#21298006
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28889) - you deserved it (3958)

On 11/12/2014 at 9:48pm - work - by thefatnurse - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML

#21297687
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39729) - you deserved it (4214)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by honey, no boo-boo (woman) - United States

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41644) - you deserved it (3154)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

#21297627
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28985) - you deserved it (8241)

On 11/12/2014 at 11:00am - health - by juggalomurderer59 (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

#21297437
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33367) - you deserved it (2970)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21am - love - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: