Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML

#21430208
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (1258)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:46pm - health - by ICanExplain - United States (California)

ohjoy15's comment : Oh my God. I'm so sorry that happened to you. The nerve of some people. At least you know the second time they yelled at you... it's because they knew they looked stupid the first time.

See all the comments →

Today, I told my dad I was gonna to start working out again. He looked at me with honest confusion on his face and said, "You worked out before?" My mother started laughing. She was all the way upstairs. FML

#21430201
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21572) - you deserved it (2535)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:35pm - health - by LukesSkyWalker (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25026) - you deserved it (2850)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

jackthekeeper's comment : introduce him as your sex warm up

See all the comments →

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

#21430170
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23883) - you deserved it (2066)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by vkryss13 - Guam

abc2601's comment : Is the monkey okay?

See all the comments →

Today, my pinky finger found out how much a king size bed weighs. FML

#21430073
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22748) - you deserved it (2459)

On 06/22/2015 at 11:12am - health - by akimbojuju - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML

#21430061
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25931) - you deserved it (1912)

On 06/22/2015 at 10:41am - intimacy - by bonzo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28898) - you deserved it (3547)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

#21430015
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26980) - you deserved it (2364)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:26am - misc - by 1234 - United States (Florida)

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

#21429840
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23571) - you deserved it (1641)

On 06/21/2015 at 11:08pm - intimacy - by koanroak - United States (Texas)

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

#21429802
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21730) - you deserved it (1739)

On 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm - animals - by Angel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was invited to a fancy-shmancy charity event, and the host - my friend - told me to wear a long, ballroom, fancy gown. Turns out my friend was just being a dick and it was a pool party. I spent $200 on my hair and makeup alone. FML

#21429755
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25525) - you deserved it (4357)

On 06/21/2015 at 8:50pm - misc - by ssondik - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24849) - you deserved it (2052)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, I forbade a student in the writing seminar I instructed from continuing to present his disturbing poems about demons. He responded to this by convincing nearly every other student in the seminar to write and read out loud several of his poems. FML

#21429629
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19292) - you deserved it (7451)

On 06/21/2015 at 4:42pm - work - by ihateloopholes (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: