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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

#21460828
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22876) - you deserved it (2964)

On 08/26/2015 at 3:45am - love - by Anonymous - India (West Bengal)

drunkturtle's comment : Well he didn't lie

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Today, I've reached the point in my life where the "Apply to affected area" label on acne cream essentially means I need to take a bath in the stuff. FML

#21460776
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22116) - you deserved it (1752)

On 08/26/2015 at 12:33am - health - by Whiteheads - United States (Texas)

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21460636
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22100) - you deserved it (1788)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm - health - by whovian221b (woman) - United States

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

#21460634
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (7110)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm - love - by FlyAwayPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Flintshire)

Riceball__o3o's comment : At least talk to each other via skype or something before telling him you love him. Afterall, catfishing is pretty common nowadays.

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Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML

#21460573
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22926) - you deserved it (2419)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

summer4me's comment : Let him know that there's no save point and he lost all his progress with you up to this point

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Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

#21460569
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (1771)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:46pm - love - by NocturnalFox (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)

Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML

#21460557
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25031) - you deserved it (3302)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:22pm - kids - by shit.jpg (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML

#21460549
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (1583)

On 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML

#21460529
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17750) - you deserved it (6178)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my cousin's husband argued adamantly that the Earth doesn't rotate, and treated me like an idiot when I explained why he was wrong. Not even a video from space of the Earth rotating convinced him. This idiot is a teacher. FML

#21460521
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (1560)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:33pm - misc - by Schizomaniac (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML

#21460448
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (2736)

On 08/25/2015 at 7:55am - love - by Shelling Ford - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

#21460430
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19112) - you deserved it (7837)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

#21460410
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (5437)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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