Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38711) - you deserved it (2927)
On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48607) - you deserved it (3279)
On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33228) - you deserved it (10335)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26118) - you deserved it (20118)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78053) - you deserved it (4462)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
↑ Welshite's comment : That's absolutely crushing. I feel for you, OP.
Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34105) - you deserved it (3225)
On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States
Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44713) - you deserved it (3091)
On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
↑ phantumgrey's comment : And you name just for reference is?.......
Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46859) - you deserved it (2368)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33005) - you deserved it (2019)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33598) - you deserved it (3360)
On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40217) - you deserved it (4494)
On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40871) - you deserved it (2380)
On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37058) - you deserved it (2445)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
↑ perdix's comment : You should have kicked him in the crotch to see if he had numb nuts, or just was one.
See all the comments →