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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML

#20654207
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35217) - you deserved it (6564)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42131) - you deserved it (4420)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

txgirl2013's comment : "Aw you made me INK!!"

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Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43110) - you deserved it (2607)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

PoopNuggetLeader's comment : There is a lovely product that many have tried and have had success with. It's called Slap-a-hoe. Works wonders.

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Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

#20653580
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you deserved it (7474)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:44am - work - by legit247 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started the bleaching treatments that my dentist recommended. Now, my two front teeth have ultra white spots, the rest of my teeth are still yellow and the roof of my mouth is burned. FML

#20653345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34809) - you deserved it (6942)

On 05/09/2013 at 11:11pm - health - by ZydecosGirl - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

#20653026
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44614) - you deserved it (5463)

On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States

Plumesant's comment : Since when would a purse make her popular ?

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Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML

#20652691
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36541) - you deserved it (1787)

On 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm - health - by iLikeMyLegs - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32953) - you deserved it (11356)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

#20652174
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48741) - you deserved it (3754)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

#20652046
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39357) - you deserved it (2100)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm - kids - by rachelllynne - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

#20651954
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37850) - you deserved it (7922)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia (Makkah)

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42460) - you deserved it (2336)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49023) - you deserved it (3128)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)



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Wednesday 15 May 2013

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