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Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (11616)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

#21233221
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41410) - you deserved it (3752)

On 08/09/2014 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

ZombieRaptor's comment : .. Did he write it? Or something he found.

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Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39225) - you deserved it (3817)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40812) - you deserved it (6037)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

JackSkellingtons's comment : Well, did he get it?

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Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (3086)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

JustForRetorts's comment : I wonder it he's the kind that prefers little boys...?

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Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

#21233010
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36563) - you deserved it (2553)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by I already have one, thanks (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I tried out a website where you upload pictures of two people, and it shows you what their future children might look like. She actually started crying because the kid we were shown wasn't cute enough for her liking. FML

#21232887
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34112) - you deserved it (3713)

On 08/08/2014 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23054) - you deserved it (35348)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML

#21232741
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45697) - you deserved it (2833)

On 08/08/2014 at 7:25pm - health - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vasternorrlands Lan)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

#21232717
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44545) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm - love - by lonethong15 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (11232)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

#21232655
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40816) - you deserved it (6549)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML

#21232602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30882) - you deserved it (7087)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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