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Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML

#21362430
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30806) - you deserved it (3339)

On 02/24/2015 at 6:50am - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

exuberant_orange's comment : Maybe you two should be "just friends" then...

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Today, my boss called me, furious about how I "never answer my phone", especially when important clients are trying to reach me, and how unprofessional I am. I make very sure to never miss any calls, my boss just keeps giving out the wrong number to people. FML

#21362364
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29300) - you deserved it (1651)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:19am - work - by O (woman) - Sweden

Today, I bought How To Train Your Dragon and the cashier started complaining how her kids keep demanding dragon stuff and that mine will start after they see the movie. I don't have any kids, and I didn't have the courage to tell her I was buying it for myself. FML

#21362244
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26351) - you deserved it (4694)

On 02/23/2015 at 11:58pm - misc - by MDoremis - United States (Hawaii)

rieebee's comment : Dragons are awesome, who cares what others think.

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Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (2740)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Araj_Hs's comment : I hope you directed your hand to his face, and his path to the police station!

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Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML

#21361977
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (4982)

On 02/23/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by hatemebeforetheyevenhatch (woman) - United Kingdom (West Dunbartonshire)

Today, I got laid off. I abandoned my friends, my boyfriend and moved 10 hours away for this job because my uncle convinced me to. My uncle is my employer. FML

#21361965
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29789) - you deserved it (4254)

On 02/23/2015 at 6:52pm - work - by now what - Canada

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

#21361960
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27244) - you deserved it (2027)

On 02/23/2015 at 6:42pm - work - by Confused and Disgusted - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

#21361818
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32844) - you deserved it (2512)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm - misc - by looking4newvenue (woman) - United States

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

#21361801
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30691) - you deserved it (2807)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Wutdafuqq (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

#21361729
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30735) - you deserved it (5167)

On 02/23/2015 at 12:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33960) - you deserved it (2896)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31293) - you deserved it (4507)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States



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