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Today, my girlfriend called me and said she needs to take a break from our relationship. Why? Her really clingy ex is really depressed about her dating someone else and he isn't ready to accept it. So she wants to take a break "for his sake" until he's over her. FML

#21447496
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24236) - you deserved it (1955)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

maydayyparade's comment : It's a good thing you're taking a break, you can find a better girl than her if she's still concerned about her ex

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Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

#21447461
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16357) - you deserved it (12061)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

#21447294
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27975) - you deserved it (2410)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by TheAce44 (man) - United States (Michigan)

1221jamw's comment : Buy him a really old flip phone, or perhaps a Nokia and tell him you agree that the Nokia won't break

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Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

#21447183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (2224)

On 07/25/2015 at 8:22pm - love - by Lucachoo - United States (California)

1221jamw's comment : ring ring ring, banana phone, banana phone

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Today, I received my replacement debit card in the mail after losing my previous one. I've already lost my new one. FML

#21447012
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11053) - you deserved it (26239)

On 07/25/2015 at 12:55pm - money - by Again (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's job to surprise her for lunch, her manager said she hasn't worked on a Saturday in two months. FML

#21446986
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (1730)

On 07/25/2015 at 11:51am - love - by WhoLikesPie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

#21446911
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11861) - you deserved it (20198)

On 07/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Mmm - United States (California)

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML

#21446894
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10445) - you deserved it (18529)

On 07/25/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by elovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

#21446839
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (1514)

On 07/25/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by for fuck's sake, gran (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

#21446817
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (2805)

On 07/25/2015 at 12:20am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

#21446754
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (4693)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm - kids - by Sad Mom - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

#21446728
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12638) - you deserved it (23610)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:59pm - work - by suspended (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27693) - you deserved it (4747)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)



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