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Today, my mother yelled at me, telling me I'm irresponsible and lecturing me on how I need to "plan ahead like an adult." All because I asked to borrow a tampon. FML

#21408920
131 comments

cutycat136's comment : Next month, hide all of her products a few hours or days before and see if she asks the same of you. If she does, repeat the same thing she said to you, she'll get it, and won't say anything like that again. Good luck op.

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Today, I was being chased by the cops, not because I'm a criminal but because I thought the SUV with red and blue lights was an ambulance, not a police officer trying to pull me over. I kept weaving out of his way for 5 minutes before I finally figured it out, and got my first ever ticket. FML

TechnicallyWrong's comment : You pull to the side of the road regardless of it being police or an ambulance. YDI on your part.

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Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

#21408859
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (3806)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Darryl - Australia (Queensland)

passinthrough's comment : Do both of you agree that you have a relationship? Cause it doesn't sound like she's in on it.

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Today, my new prescription medicine for my chronic acne did in fact work. It worked by inflaming the skin around my zits so that they blended in. FML

#21408702
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (1771)

On 05/11/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, 2 years into our relationship, my boyfriend's parents still have no idea about me. FML

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML

#21408482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25580) - you deserved it (1965)

On 05/11/2015 at 4:54pm - work - by Becky (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I learned I'm claustrophobic by having a raging oh-god-I'm-gonna-fucking-die panic attack while I was stuck inside an MRI scanner. FML

#21408444
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24856) - you deserved it (1982)

On 05/11/2015 at 3:39pm - health - by birchbeer - United States (California)

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

#21408378
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30382) - you deserved it (4735)

On 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

#21408368
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (8661)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

#21408360
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (3883)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

#21408338
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23089) - you deserved it (3664)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:37am - money - by technodont - United States

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30213) - you deserved it (3002)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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