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Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (2131)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

may14th's comment : dads always try to be funny. it usually never ends well

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Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (3086)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

MegasaurusRex89's comment : People are disgusting. I've unfortunately seen that several times at my job. Sorry about the panic attack :(

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Today, I got a call from the ICU. Apparently, my boyfriend has been there for 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even my parents have been to see him. FML

#21378357
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30065) - you deserved it (4756)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:40am - health - by quietecho95 - United States (Colorado)

piedpiper303's comment : I guess he didn't want to 'c u'

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Today, my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time, so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me, though, because she's a couple of inches taller and can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. FML

#21378350
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31465) - you deserved it (2463)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:26am - love - by falling short (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24492) - you deserved it (7682)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

#21378331
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30483) - you deserved it (2157)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:38am - work - by ZG_Rules (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I met the perfect guy. He's sweet, funny, charming, a great kisser - the whole package. The downside? He has the same exact name as my father, last name and all. I can't kiss him without thinking of my dad. FML

#21378117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31171) - you deserved it (3505)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

#21378092
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27289) - you deserved it (3163)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm - love - by TooShortToCleanThat - United States

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML

#21378047
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (4581)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm - misc - by shawnsmuffins - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

#21378013
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31284) - you deserved it (4967)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by Fred - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML

#21378005
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (1961)

On 03/19/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by Hm (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was playing Dance Dance Revolution in an arcade when a woman came up and asked me if playing it was my job. I laughed but then realized that it is actually the closest thing I have to a job. FML

#21377906
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (6591)

On 03/19/2015 at 5:49pm - work - by DDRFreak (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to work a double shift after my relief called in "sick" just so he could go to a party. FML

#21377747
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27367) - you deserved it (2201)

On 03/19/2015 at 12:41pm - work - by SleepIsForTheWeak (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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