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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

#21301400
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41175) - you deserved it (3503)

On 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by steak through the heart - United States (California)

TrustStolen's comment : I'm sorry op that sucks maybe you can contact her husband somehow

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Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

#21301373
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29683) - you deserved it (2796)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm - health - by hatemydentist - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

#21301367
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37130) - you deserved it (3626)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

sockoiid's comment : You should have spit them out and proven that it was candy, then get some new fucking friends

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Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29502) - you deserved it (3024)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Nightwing98's comment : Maybe she wanted more than 2 weeks notice that you were leaving.

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Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

#21301160
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (2361)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:35am - animals - by blindsparrow - United States (California)

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

#21301098
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31670) - you deserved it (4014)

On 11/17/2014 at 11:16pm - work - by HereToLaughAtU (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

#21301020
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33714) - you deserved it (2279)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm - work - by ohgosh... (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a chinese restaurant, only to get nervous and hang up. FML

#21300935
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25221) - you deserved it (6534)

On 11/17/2014 at 8:04pm - misc - by phonebaby - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18393) - you deserved it (29514)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (3121)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

#21300816
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (4989)

On 11/17/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (2968)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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