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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29512) - you deserved it (1991)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML

#21410631
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30638) - you deserved it (1797)

On 05/15/2015 at 6:26pm - money - by that was mine - United States (New Jersey)

A07's comment : I'm pretty sure she's not allowed to do that, talk to a lawyer OP

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Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

#21410601
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34033) - you deserved it (1981)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Juicenub's comment : This is unacceptable. You should inform your boss about this so your coworker will get what he deserves.

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Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21194) - you deserved it (10224)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (2531)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

never_alone's comment : how did he not notice the string? and how did you not wake up in time to stop him? you must be a heavy sleeper

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Today, I woke up to the sound of my little sister knocking on my door. Today's my birthday, so I thought she'd surprise me with something. Instead, she just asked me, "How's it feel to be a year older and still alone?" I just turned 20. The truth hurts. FML

Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were "I hope you have insurance". FML

#21410548
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29012) - you deserved it (1813)

On 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm - misc - by hendrixisgod86 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML

#21410455
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (3453)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:58am - misc - by Anon - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

#21410356
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (2324)

On 05/15/2015 at 1:40am - love - by bluestripedsockm - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

#21410138
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you deserved it (4177)

On 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm - love - by what even - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my wife confided in a coworker that she wants to sleep with him, because our marriage is loveless and sexless. News to me. FML

#21410043
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28780) - you deserved it (2633)

On 05/14/2015 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by semokco (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29406) - you deserved it (2200)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31704) - you deserved it (6954)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia



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