Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34640) - you deserved it (8048)
On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43938) - you deserved it (7815)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37642) - you deserved it (8421)
On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)
↑ PlayTheGame24's comment : Because those clothes define you as a murderer.... Stupid judgmental people these days
Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37865) - you deserved it (4861) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/15/2013 at 2:58am - misc - by grossesfesses (woman) - France (Picardie)
↑ BntyHntrSeattle's comment : Then you say, "And that's why I don't have cookies" and then sassily switch seats.
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42179) - you deserved it (3179)
On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36589) - you deserved it (1977)
On 05/15/2013 at 2:21am - health - by the only sober one (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32671) - you deserved it (5536)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44385) - you deserved it (2568)
Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39113) - you deserved it (2137)
On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36055) - you deserved it (3390)
On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35630) - you deserved it (3911)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31416) - you deserved it (2624)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States
Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29735) - you deserved it (16322)
On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Monday 20 May 2013
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