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Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27958) - you deserved it (3714)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Jae_Hellyun's comment : Maybe the truck rides better?

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Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

#21342394
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25638) - you deserved it (4244)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:36pm - kids - by ameliaruth09 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Pingvinai's comment : Weaponize your voice against your enemies.

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Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26045) - you deserved it (8795)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

AirBusDriver's comment : Clap clap clap... maybe next time you ought to just FAP FAP FAP.

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Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

#21342258
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26152) - you deserved it (2608)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37606) - you deserved it (3156)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

#21342125
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29890) - you deserved it (7351)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

#21342118
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28448) - you deserved it (2199)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:40am - misc - by burningman (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML

#21342099
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (2639)

On 01/22/2015 at 4:02am - health - by shifala (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32233) - you deserved it (4639)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a large envelope from a college I applied to earlier. My mom, expecting big news, made my family gather round as I opened it. It ended up being a letter of rejection from not just that school, but all 3 campuses of the state college. FML

#21342027
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29640) - you deserved it (2305)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:22am - misc - by 1415926 - United States

Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML

#21341948
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29439) - you deserved it (2037)

On 01/21/2015 at 10:46pm - misc - by blububble412 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my professor was doing roll-call. As usual, she didn't say my name because it's so close to the person before me. So to differentiate, she decided she would call the girl before me "the pretty one". FML

#21341880
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29595) - you deserved it (2105)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by The Ugly One - United States

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said "I know." FML

#21341633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28821) - you deserved it (8783)

On 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by cuckolddreams - United States (Oklahoma)



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