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Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

#21458732
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21326) - you deserved it (5035)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

HrothgarXII's comment : As much as that sucks, you gotta admit, that's pretty impressive.

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Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML

#21458720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20210) - you deserved it (14442)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by technicallywroteabook (man) - United States (Texas)

mariksolo's comment : Next time just read a fucking book

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Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

#21458628
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20568) - you deserved it (4682)

On 08/20/2015 at 9:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Triumvirate's comment : For the love of god, don't ask for a neck massage.

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Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21458540
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18908) - you deserved it (4740)

On 08/20/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by sstahpp (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML

#21458477
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24717) - you deserved it (2245)

On 08/20/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

#21458464
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (2409)

On 08/20/2015 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML

#21458446
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19310) - you deserved it (2303)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by fuck you btichass cuntshit (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was talking to a colleague about love. He told me he's given up on love because things ended badly with a previous girl. I said, "Maybe it wasn't meant to be, and she wasn't the one." He then said the reason it didn't work out was because she killed herself. FML

#21458398
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23760) - you deserved it (3602)

On 08/20/2015 at 8:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, after working incredibly hard to get into college without having to take out loans, classes started. I was told we'll need a $200 piece of software, and we'll fail without it. There's no way I can afford it. FML

#21458353
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23816) - you deserved it (1919)

On 08/20/2015 at 3:21am - misc - by NotCollegeBound (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

#21458335
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (2164)

On 08/20/2015 at 2:02am - love - by Catsfordays - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the motorcycle I paid cash for was an illegal import. My plates are canceled, I have to turn in the bike for it to be destroyed, and the seller has vanished off the face of the planet. FML

#21458311
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22782) - you deserved it (3914)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:48am - misc - by fmymouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, my psycho landlord threatened to take me to court if I don't pay my rent on time this month. I'd totally understand if he weren't my father-in-law, and if the reason I didn't pay on time before was because of hospital fees I'd incurred for an emergency appendectomy. FML

#21458301
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (2110)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:16am - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

#21458278
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22344) - you deserved it (1727)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:25pm - kids - by ambiiii - United States (Texas)



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  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

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