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Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML

Benmantha's comment : ..did you keep your bra on..? o_o

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Today, I got into a fight with my parents when they called me a bad driver. Imagine their smugness when I had to call them two hours later and tell them that I drove into a pole. FML

#21431656
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15997) - you deserved it (21604)

On 06/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by ApparentlyBadDriver - South Africa (Gauteng)

mds9986's comment : Well you kind of deserve it if you drove into a pole. Pay attention more at the wheel, it could be a person next time.

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Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML

#21431603
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (1940)

On 06/25/2015 at 3:06am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

rieebee's comment : Guess you found the secret to success at your job then!

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Today, I walked in on a raccoon viciously tearing apart a giant bag of dog food, not five feet away from my sleeping dog. FML

#21431556
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22685) - you deserved it (1646)

On 06/25/2015 at 1:30am - animals - by wtfkasey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26463) - you deserved it (3536)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was informed, after being broken up with, that my girlfriend's father only set her up with me so that she would have more motivation to shower on a regular basis. He actually yelled at me for being broken up with. FML

#21431508
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22646) - you deserved it (1611)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:54pm - love - by Anonymouss (man) - United States

Today, I submitted a poem for my English class. I had fun writing it, so I wrote a second which was not nearly as good. My procrastinator of a friend never did his, so I gave him my extra poem. Mine was given a 75% while "his" received a 93%. FML

#21431507
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22009) - you deserved it (8000)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by WhyIHateTeachers - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to call patients that we hadn't seen in a long time. Most of them were dead. FML

#21431312
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22196) - you deserved it (1636)

On 06/24/2015 at 6:18pm - work - by Exil (woman) - United States

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

#21431233
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (3528)

On 06/24/2015 at 3:45pm - animals - by That escalated quickly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML

#21431204
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23725) - you deserved it (1520)

On 06/24/2015 at 2:49pm - work - by Ain't going nowhere - United States (Illinois)

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

#21431164
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34635) - you deserved it (2095)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

#21431146
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (1564)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by zaynemaliksvagina (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML

#21431076
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (1632)

On 06/24/2015 at 8:44am - health - by tantanpanda (man) - United States



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