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Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

#21283962
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35442) - you deserved it (3525)

On 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by max - United States (Florida)

danilynn6308's comment : Well I think we know who they're going to be talking about..

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Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34422) - you deserved it (2702)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

23lf's comment : Wash your eyes out with battery acid.

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Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33703) - you deserved it (4085)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

alyssabreanne90's comment : That's actually pretty adorable!

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Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

#21283737
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (2437)

On 10/23/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by mnote (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

#21283583
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (3044)

On 10/23/2014 at 1:18am - love - by 20singleandproudish (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36208) - you deserved it (9513)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

#21283412
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31243) - you deserved it (3412)

On 10/22/2014 at 9:33pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37829) - you deserved it (2730)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

#21283230
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (3987)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by CJune24 (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32777) - you deserved it (4931)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

#21283193
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15177) - you deserved it (33467)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by mr_cheese (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (6302)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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