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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-workers anus. FML

#21344664
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (2327)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

immaloser95's comment : I'm picturing that Spongebob character that screams "MY EYES!"

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Today, I mentioned to my girlfriend that I'd sent in a job application after she went home. In front of her parents. Who thought she'd stayed the night at a friend's place. FML

cakefete2's comment : Unless you specified a time, you should've been able to play it off. It's not like you said "oh, when you left my place this morning and I was picking your panties off the chandelier, I thought maybe I could be a French maid so I sent in an application."

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Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

#21344628
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21493) - you deserved it (2191)

On 01/26/2015 at 5:19pm - misc - by Yellow an (man) - United States

RobinGoodfellow's comment : Why would you say she's "very nice" and then ask that she doesn't kill you? Be reasonable.

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Today, after putting a bag of dirty laundry in the laundry room to wait for an open washer, I came back to find a "free stuff" sign on all of my expensive jeans, new towels, and favorite sweatshirts. The bag was over half empty. FML

#21344550
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (10728)

On 01/26/2015 at 2:17pm - misc - by boogery - United States

Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML

#21344494
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22552) - you deserved it (2102)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML

#21344486
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22737) - you deserved it (4629)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:21am - animals - by HannaMD - Canada

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, I had pizza for lunch. Later, I passed out in front of a customer. Now I get to explain to my boss that I fainted on the job because of heartburn. FML

#21344355
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20755) - you deserved it (3597)

On 01/26/2015 at 1:55am - work - by Thisismylife (woman) - Canada

Today, I went to work with a great attitude, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML

#21344188
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21736) - you deserved it (3084)

On 01/25/2015 at 8:41pm - work - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24451) - you deserved it (7661)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer blatantly farted as I sat down, then she sneered, "Making yourself comfortable, I see..." FML

#21344008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26757) - you deserved it (1925)

On 01/25/2015 at 1:21pm - work - by fartje - Netherlands

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

#21343820
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you deserved it (2291)

On 01/25/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I have to wear earplugs in my own apartment because my neighbor won't turn down his music. My landlord doesn't believe me because "people with disabilities can't be rude." FML

#21343763
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/25/2015 at 12:01am - misc - by Earplugged (man) - United States (Washington)



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  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

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