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Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

#21316146
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28639) - you deserved it (4143)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

#21316127
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (4016)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:17am - love - by galladore - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26178) - you deserved it (2246)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

#21316117
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25205) - you deserved it (5085)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML

#21316114
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13936) - you deserved it (34859)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:39am - misc - by well, now what - United States (Oklahoma)

thomasrasmussen7's comment : Maybe next time you should see who it's from rather than jumping to conclusions.

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Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML

DARKDAY07's comment : I would've made eye contact for an uncomfortably long time then nodded.

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Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML

#21315834
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25622) - you deserved it (6612)

On 12/11/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

demi94's comment : its best to be safe than sorry

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Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38601) - you deserved it (2178)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed that I'm way more productive when I'm drinking than when I'm not. I think I just figured out why I'm related to so many alcoholics. FML

#21315807
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25365) - you deserved it (2766)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:17pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

#21315734
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19633) - you deserved it (24858)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33285) - you deserved it (4174)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

#21315641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (5287)

On 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm - misc - by not laughing anymore - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I last that long. FML

#21315600
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (9789)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by cigarettes - United States



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