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Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33394) - you deserved it (2271)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

grajax's comment : Tell her to shut the fuck up.

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Today, my manager gave me hell for leaving the restaurant early yesterday. Guilty as charged, but only because I was rushed to the hospital after going into diabetic shock. This assmunch is convinced that I either faked it all to get off work early, or that I'd been eating our own stock. FML

#21343418
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (1935)

On 01/24/2015 at 12:24pm - work - by Anonymous -

Ashd09's comment : I know your pain OP. One time I was in the middle of a test when my blood sugar dropped so low that I could hardly stand up, but my teachers refused to let me go get something to eat. Then they failed me and tried to have me suspended for "causing a scene" after I passed out. Not many people understand how serious diabetes can be. Sorry OP, I would report the manager to HR and see what they can do

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Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

#21343357
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27050) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

colton_colton's comment : That's something you could've lived a happy life without seeing.

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Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27734) - you deserved it (4383)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28779) - you deserved it (3592)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, I saw selfies of my aunt and her friends on Facebook having a great time. They took the pictures at my mother's funeral last week. FML

#21343089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31508) - you deserved it (2000)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

#21343084
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (1991)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36014) - you deserved it (6533)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29312) - you deserved it (4080)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend told me that her fear of PDA has gotten so bad, she doesn't think she'll even be able to kiss me on our wedding day. Her parents are going be there and she can't imagine showing affection in front of other people, let alone her parents. FML

#21342878
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (2632)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by uggg - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (3139)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

#21342840
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28645) - you deserved it (2214)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Ineedlotsofwater (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39747) - you deserved it (2477)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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