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Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

nesteremily's comment : I would have said, "Yes, and you're next."

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Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

#21360309
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28853) - you deserved it (7368)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

dylanger16's comment : You might want to go to the doctor and get tested for diseases then

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Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20997) - you deserved it (26616)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

EmmaRey's comment : Time for self control to make an entrance. Laughing is the wrong move, bro. Definitely the wrong move. :|

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Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

#21360278
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (2564)

On 02/21/2015 at 8:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27021) - you deserved it (3682)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

#21360063
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (2113)

On 02/20/2015 at 9:54pm - animals - by fml (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom told me that, even though my brother sells drugs, he's still her favorite child. FML

#21359996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31265) - you deserved it (2520)

On 02/20/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by pissed - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

#21359968
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31079) - you deserved it (6051)

On 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

#21359908
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28469) - you deserved it (2292)

On 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML

#21359872
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29866) - you deserved it (2270)

On 02/20/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by all tweened out (man) - Canada

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

#21359857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24691) - you deserved it (2792)

On 02/20/2015 at 2:25pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and still waitressing at a local restaurant. There were only 3 of us serving today and things were hectic. One guy bitched me out, saying "Maybe if you lost some weight you'd walk a little faster!" because I wasn't fast enough with his soup. FML

#21359797
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34013) - you deserved it (2391)

On 02/20/2015 at 12:56pm - work - by blahblah1993 - United States (Texas)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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