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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

#21299790
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (4118)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by omgdesdes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Pleonasm's comment : It was a sperm of the moment kind of thing.

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Today, my boyfriend and I compared our No Shave November body hair. This is how I found out that my legs are hairier than his. FML

#21299788
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26043) - you deserved it (6770)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML

#21299775
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:41pm - misc - by SeaBind - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

#21299758
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18714) - you deserved it (27624)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

lexiieeex3's comment : That was a really dick move. On both of your parts.

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Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

#21299716
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (4902)

On 11/15/2014 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Slow_Walker (woman) - Georgia (Dushet'is Raioni)

MrConcise's comment : Maybe you should've watched CSI or Cops, then you would've taken it seriously.

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Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30978) - you deserved it (4132)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML

#21299572
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23963) - you deserved it (3453)

On 11/15/2014 at 1:20pm - work - by ChimerV (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

#21299484
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (6995)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

#21299468
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25582) - you deserved it (2570)

On 11/15/2014 at 9:43am - misc - by coveholli - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (7874)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

#21299204
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27709) - you deserved it (2314)

On 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML

#21299125
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30414) - you deserved it (2522)

On 11/14/2014 at 7:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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