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Today, as I was working at a bakery, a woman stormed in, cut in front of the line, and began yelling at me. She claimed I didn't give her a sandwich earlier and demanded a refund. She got the refund out of my paycheck, and as she was leaving she muttered, "Ha, works every time." FML

#21446622
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (1794)

On 07/24/2015 at 4:08pm - work - by jb100 - United States (Missouri)

FunnnyGirrl's comment : People really suck sometimes! Your manager should've insisted on a receipt or proof of purchase, instead of taking money from your pay! Sorry OP!

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Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25957) - you deserved it (2721)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Hildy93's comment : Can you do a follow up and tell us the joke??

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Today, I was telling 3 classmates on Whatsapp about my depression. One of them told me to "nut up n grow a pear." 2 hours after we mocked him for being an illiterate jackass, one of us has had our car tires knifed and another's house has been egged. I'm terrified of what will happen to me. FML

#21446551
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21122) - you deserved it (4549)

On 07/24/2015 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Northern Mariana Islands

Morning's comment : Depression's a serious issue, man, but if you really feel like it, file a police report using your two witnesses of classmates. Hope you get the help you need.

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Today, I lost out on a job opportunity because the interviewer said my "fake fangs are unprofessional and frankly disturbing". The "fangs" are my real canines, and they have always looked this way. FML

#21446532
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23281) - you deserved it (1395)

On 07/24/2015 at 1:24pm - work - by (-,..,-) (woman) - France

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (2192)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I'm grieving over the death of my best friend of 9 years. My mom wasted no time arriving at the conclusion that I must be hormonal and pregnant with his child. Apparently it's not normal for a woman to cry so much over a man, unless they've been fucking. FML

#21446500
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28583) - you deserved it (1642)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

#21446464
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (1551)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:02am - work - by fishingforubies2 - Aruba

Today, I asked my boyfriend to go to the airport with me, to see me off for my three-month stay abroad. He said no because the two-hour drive is "too boring". FML

#21446439
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21784) - you deserved it (2074)

On 07/24/2015 at 7:58am - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

#21446247
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (9015)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by stargate25 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

#21446242
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23903) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML

#21446192
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21756) - you deserved it (2076)

On 07/23/2015 at 8:12pm - work - by sarika (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

#21446059
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (2461)

On 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Ma_Nikka (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

#21446038
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (2679)

On 07/23/2015 at 2:28pm - animals - by killjoyx - United States (Virginia)



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