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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized I need to get my life together after spilling ramen while taking a bath, again. FML

#21432524
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20125) - you deserved it (6291)

On 06/26/2015 at 8:57pm - misc - by college estudiata (woman) -

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24640) - you deserved it (2574)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

chuka81's comment : It's always a wonderful thing to see children who know what they want to do early in life. In this case, an exotic dancer to pleasure mankind.

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Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML

#21432440
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (1499)

On 06/26/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Nope (woman) - United States (California)

cfojo's comment : Hopefully your father defended you OP. That's pretty indecent of that man to say that about you.

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Today, my brother tried cremating our deceased cat. In the oven. My nose has killed itself. FML

Queen_bee1234's comment : I smell a psychopath.

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Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

#21432396
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25073) - you deserved it (2441)

On 06/26/2015 at 4:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML

#21432392
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22755) - you deserved it (7437)

On 06/26/2015 at 3:56pm - work - by very analytical (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

#21432346
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11675) - you deserved it (35469)

On 06/26/2015 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

#21432333
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (1963)

On 06/26/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Zambia

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

#21432306
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15171) - you deserved it (19907)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:54pm - work - by AshWil - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML

#21432298
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25813) - you deserved it (2443)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:38pm - misc - by Good Parenting? - United States (Maryland)

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

#21432294
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (1706)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

#21432224
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25072) - you deserved it (2422)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by mytoehurts - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I just woke up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML

#21432043
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (1714)

On 06/25/2015 at 11:06pm - health - by postop (woman) - United States (New York)



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