Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40361) - you deserved it (5185)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:41am - work - by Shitty Boss Shitty Job - United States (Iowa)
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40141) - you deserved it (3603)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by well then... - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33292) - you deserved it (3622)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by ouch - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50291) - you deserved it (2959)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
↑ BewilderedHooker's comment : Who the hell thought the OP deserved this?
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39575) - you deserved it (16405)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)
↑ stupidpplsuck's comment : That's probably because you go through your daughters phone. No sympathy from me Voldy.
Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44221) - you deserved it (4213)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34147) - you deserved it (3528)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36808) - you deserved it (5993)
On 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for showing up at work early. His reasoning is that it looks bad when his workers show up before dawn and work later than he does. He assigned me these hours specifically to accommodate one of our clients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35781) - you deserved it (2252)
On 06/14/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by wtfwhyfml (woman) - United States
Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48778) - you deserved it (3215)
On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58796) - you deserved it (5779)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (3899)
On 06/14/2013 at 1:57am - work - by fubuggie (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (3023)
On 06/14/2013 at 12:39am - health - by hi_there4397 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 17 June 2013
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