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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25164) - you deserved it (4045)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Soninuva's comment : Report him to the department chair. Even if he has tenure, things like that can get it revoked. There's no need to treat people that way.

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Today, while on the tram with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML

#21522467
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17479) - you deserved it (2113) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/03/2016 at 10:44am - misc - by DieuEstUnHomme (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Recon13x's comment : Someone thinks highly of themselves.

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Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

#21522398
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25087) - you deserved it (3609)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:40am - intimacy - by :x (man) - United States (Virginia)

ananicosia's comment : Time to educate your girlfriend on personal hygiene

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Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

#21522391
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19835) - you deserved it (1292)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

#21522381
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18226) - you deserved it (2821)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML

#21522371
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22031) - you deserved it (1403)

On 02/03/2016 at 8:33am - health - by Ishikur (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

#21522183
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23263) - you deserved it (2267)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm - work - by zachhewett - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

#21522144
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19253) - you deserved it (1757)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:27pm - misc - by oh, shit...... - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML

#21522136
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (1392)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm - misc - by wideeyeddays (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my tax filing status was never changed after my divorce. This means I haven't been paying enough and now the government wants its money. FML

#21522112
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19310) - you deserved it (3845)

On 02/02/2016 at 1:48pm - money - by sideeffect001 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my cellphone-hating teacher called someone during class, so I called him out about it. Turned out his wife was having a tumor removed, and he was calling to see if she was okay. FML

Today, after years of lonesome birthdays overseas, I am finally able to celebrate the occasion at home. My best friend of 10 years will not be attending because her boyfriend of two months is having his party the same night. FML

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

#21522018
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (1738)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:17am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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