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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to inform my roommate that dry shampoo, deodorant, and perfume are not the same as a shower. It's been two weeks. FML

#21263853
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33636) - you deserved it (2423)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:30pm - health - by catgiraffegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend wiping his nose with his hand and then using the snot to gel back his hair. FML

#21263839
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34209) - you deserved it (4102)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:04pm - love - by danceinconverse - Canada (Ontario)

BadApple88's comment : Sounds sexy lol. Note to self: Don't eat while reading FML.

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Today, my boss changed some company calendar settings on my computer to see what they'd be like. He didn't like it, so he told me to change it back, then left. I have no idea what he changed. FML

#21263813
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27985) - you deserved it (2298)

On 09/23/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

#21263789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33311) - you deserved it (2198)

On 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

naived009's comment : Wow what a bitch

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Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

#21263705
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (16290)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:48am - misc - by shelookslikemiley - Australia

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30099) - you deserved it (2843)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

greatfirstdate's comment : Aw :( I'm sorry. It's a really gorgeous name, though.

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Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

#21263396
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26301) - you deserved it (2464)

On 09/22/2014 at 9:04pm - animals - by madisonbubch - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend couldn't go on a date with me because his mom said no. He's 23. FML

#21263362
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32179) - you deserved it (4034)

On 09/22/2014 at 8:23pm - love - by Serire (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a new fire alarm system is being installed in my building. Not only does the alarm go off incessantly, but the elevators stop running when it happens. I live on the 12th floor. FML

Today, what I thought was going to be a lunch date turned into a life insurance sales pitch. FML

#21263186
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30369) - you deserved it (2738)

On 09/22/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by WhiteCaribbean (man) - Saint Lucia (Castries)

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32601) - you deserved it (2548)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37038) - you deserved it (4562)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, coming home from a trip in the mountains, I got a cracked radiator and my car overheated. My dad came to get me, he drove my car and I followed in his. I got pulled over and ticketed for his expired registration. FML

#21263040
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (2954)

On 09/22/2014 at 10:25am - misc - by willconqueror1 - United States



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