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Today, I got into a fight with my parents when they called me a bad driver. Imagine their smugness when I had to call them two hours later and tell them that I drove into a pole. FML

#21431656
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15638) - you deserved it (21091)

On 06/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by ApparentlyBadDriver - South Africa (Gauteng)

mds9986's comment : Well you kind of deserve it if you drove into a pole. Pay attention more at the wheel, it could be a person next time.

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Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML

#21431603
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23403) - you deserved it (1943)

On 06/25/2015 at 3:06am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

rieebee's comment : Guess you found the secret to success at your job then!

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Today, I walked in on a raccoon viciously tearing apart a giant bag of dog food, not five feet away from my sleeping dog. FML

#21431556
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (1636)

On 06/25/2015 at 1:30am - animals - by wtfkasey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (3520)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

stieglar's comment : Next time it happens push his head back down. Hard.

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Today, I was informed, after being broken up with, that my girlfriend's father only set her up with me so that she would have more motivation to shower on a regular basis. He actually yelled at me for being broken up with. FML

#21431508
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22132) - you deserved it (1607)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:54pm - love - by Anonymouss (man) - United States

Today, I submitted a poem for my English class. I had fun writing it, so I wrote a second which was not nearly as good. My procrastinator of a friend never did his, so I gave him my extra poem. Mine was given a 75% while "his" received a 93%. FML

#21431507
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (7879)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by WhyIHateTeachers - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to call patients that we hadn't seen in a long time. Most of them were dead. FML

#21431312
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (1636)

On 06/24/2015 at 6:18pm - work - by Exil (woman) - United States

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

#21431233
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18826) - you deserved it (3501)

On 06/24/2015 at 3:45pm - animals - by That escalated quickly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML

#21431204
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23187) - you deserved it (1518)

On 06/24/2015 at 2:49pm - work - by Ain't going nowhere - United States (Illinois)

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

#21431164
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33951) - you deserved it (2086)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

#21431146
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26314) - you deserved it (1561)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by zaynemaliksvagina (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML

#21431076
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (1621)

On 06/24/2015 at 8:44am - health - by tantanpanda (man) - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

#21430988
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21511) - you deserved it (3149)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:16am - love - by imblue42 - United States



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