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Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

#21115862
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44552) - you deserved it (4102)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm - kids - by mommy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

buttcramp's comment : Damn, OP. This really sucks! That's not cool that your ex and his girlfriend are having the kids call her that especially if their relationship is still so new.

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Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42369) - you deserved it (5359)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

IloveToLaugh143's comment : Hopefully you checked on him to see if he's okay OP. Maybe ask him why he reacted that way?

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Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

#21115731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (3014)

On 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

#21115571
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43836) - you deserved it (3663)

On 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm - work - by badessaymyass (man) - United States (Arizona)

TrippingOnAcid's comment : Logic.

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Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

#21115410
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32366) - you deserved it (9262)

On 04/17/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43238) - you deserved it (3453)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43731) - you deserved it (3838)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML

#21114561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37675) - you deserved it (3392)

On 04/16/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by birthdaygirl - United States (California)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37602) - you deserved it (11867)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36394) - you deserved it (6265)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sat and watched the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich, whereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. FML



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