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Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

#21447538
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (1726)

On 07/26/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by suosi (man) - United States (Indiana)

RedRelish's comment : So blue balls?

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Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced." and took a rain check on me. FML

#21447515
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21795) - you deserved it (2425)

On 07/26/2015 at 1:29pm - misc - by arch maester shavayalsharashion (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, my girlfriend called me and said she needs to take a break from our relationship. Why? Her really clingy ex is really depressed about her dating someone else and he isn't ready to accept it. So she wants to take a break "for his sake" until he's over her. FML

#21447496
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23158) - you deserved it (1930)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

maydayyparade's comment : It's a good thing you're taking a break, you can find a better girl than her if she's still concerned about her ex

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Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

#21447461
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15675) - you deserved it (11589)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

#21447294
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26920) - you deserved it (2380)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by TheAce44 (man) - United States (Michigan)

1221jamw's comment : Buy him a really old flip phone, or perhaps a Nokia and tell him you agree that the Nokia won't break

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Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

#21447183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21206) - you deserved it (2189)

On 07/25/2015 at 8:22pm - love - by Lucachoo - United States (California)

Today, I received my replacement debit card in the mail after losing my previous one. I've already lost my new one. FML

#21447012
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10657) - you deserved it (25318)

On 07/25/2015 at 12:55pm - money - by Again (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's job to surprise her for lunch, her manager said she hasn't worked on a Saturday in two months. FML

#21446986
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26407) - you deserved it (1715)

On 07/25/2015 at 11:51am - love - by WhoLikesPie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

#21446911
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11437) - you deserved it (19594)

On 07/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Mmm - United States (California)

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML

#21446894
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10090) - you deserved it (17866)

On 07/25/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by elovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

#21446839
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21970) - you deserved it (1504)

On 07/25/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by for fuck's sake, gran (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

#21446817
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (2782)

On 07/25/2015 at 12:20am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

#21446754
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27214) - you deserved it (4614)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm - kids - by Sad Mom - United States (Texas)



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