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Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Nightwing98's comment : Maybe she wanted more than 2 weeks notice that you were leaving.

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Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

#21301160
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29853) - you deserved it (2334)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:35am - animals - by blindsparrow - United States (California)

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

#21301098
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30693) - you deserved it (3925)

On 11/17/2014 at 11:16pm - work - by HereToLaughAtU (woman) - United States (Iowa)

nateracecar5's comment : She needs to read signs more often...

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Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

#21301020
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (2250)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm - work - by ohgosh... (woman) - United States (Michigan)

hare's comment : Sounds like a trolling teacher lol

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Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a chinese restaurant, only to get nervous and hang up. FML

#21300935
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24501) - you deserved it (6386)

On 11/17/2014 at 8:04pm - misc - by phonebaby - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17712) - you deserved it (28512)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26623) - you deserved it (3076)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

#21300816
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (4907)

On 11/17/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26563) - you deserved it (2951)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after driving hundreds of miles to sign the paperwork for my new job, I found out the guy who hired me recently quit, and HR has no idea who I am. FML

#21300696
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30852) - you deserved it (2096)

On 11/17/2014 at 11:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30441) - you deserved it (3252)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
66 comments

Today, I was stopped behind a pickup truck filled with junk. I told my friend that the person should have secured the junk better, since it looked like it would fall off any minute. My friend assured me it wouldn't. Right after she said that, a large piece of plywood fell off and hit my windshield. FML

#21300434
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26888) - you deserved it (2998)

On 11/16/2014 at 11:17pm - misc - by pickuptruckblues - Canada (Ontario)



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