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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

#21215497
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37501) - you deserved it (2626)

On 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47740) - you deserved it (7634)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Blue_Black's comment : Little do they know..

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Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44393) - you deserved it (3631)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

illegalbeagle69's comment : At least you could wash it off, he's stuck with it in his hand.

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Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML

#21214465
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (5431)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46360) - you deserved it (6360)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

TorturedXeno's comment : Could be worse. It could have been a picture of you.

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Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27381) - you deserved it (35824)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

#21213929
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36316) - you deserved it (22551)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother compared having me as a daughter to having a deadly kind of cancer. FML

#21213727
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41786) - you deserved it (4739)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by wtf? - United States (Nevada)

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

#21213656
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44878) - you deserved it (3423)

On 07/19/2014 at 12:43am - love - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41654) - you deserved it (5830)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32431) - you deserved it (16271)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48166) - you deserved it (9074)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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