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Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32550) - you deserved it (2768)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58191) - you deserved it (458)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

skilova4lifezzz's comment : Weird. How'd you end up in Iran?

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Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML

#21212865
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (3493)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:45pm - money - by what people do for money - United States (Texas)

mxij's comment : Maybe the bet was that he wouldn't be brave enough to compliment you? He might think you really are pretty.

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Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39196) - you deserved it (6440)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

TrippingOnAcid's comment : I accidentally said "chanks" to an asian customer the other day instead of "cheers" and "thanks". It's easily done!

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Today, I had a customer write "fuck you" in the tip option area on his credit card slip, I have no idea why. FML

#21212818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33658) - you deserved it (4507)

On 07/18/2014 at 11:49am - work - by tuck87 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44141) - you deserved it (592)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too nice. Apparently, me being nice to him makes him feel guilty. FML

#21212029
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3780) - you deserved it (352)

On 07/17/2014 at 4:48pm - love - by toonice - United States (Oregon)

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

#21211826
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38114) - you deserved it (11196)

On 07/17/2014 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47970) - you deserved it (413)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (16700)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

#21211315
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37448) - you deserved it (410)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36496) - you deserved it (4352)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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