Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

#21302674
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28123) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

#21302617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (5525)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:32am - health - by LemonTree (man) - Hungary

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (2870)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

amdraxx's comment : Do a count each time you arrive and each time you leave. Nobody likes a loose snake

See all the comments →

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

#21302177
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28548) - you deserved it (4832)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

emile_heskey's comment : Brought to you by the letters F, M, and L

See all the comments →

Today, I am 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long 12 hour drive. FML

#21302111
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (2511)

On 11/19/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by honeybunny - United States (Oklahoma)

DontClickOnMe's comment : Well if he triggers it, make sure you throw up on him. It may be the only way to get him to stop.

See all the comments →

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

#21302094
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28825) - you deserved it (5800)

On 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm - misc - by limpdick9 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33514) - you deserved it (2959)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (6668)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26885) - you deserved it (3193)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

#21301904
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35205) - you deserved it (2553)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30668) - you deserved it (3384)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

#21301556
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25484) - you deserved it (5537)

On 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

#21301400
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39983) - you deserved it (3430)

On 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by steak through the heart - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: