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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

#1806
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (6217)

On 01/19/2009 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by rindawg - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit here for 8 hours copying and pasting thousands of product codes on a frigging spreadsheet. My job title is not data entry, I'm a graphic designer. FML

#1791
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17521) - you deserved it (2258)

On 01/19/2009 at 8:23pm - work - by Lincoln - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was watching TV and realised I am attracted to Sandra Oh. FML

#1774
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7341) - you deserved it (14252)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12pm - love - by Noname - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

#1752
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32995) - you deserved it (9042)

On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18076) - you deserved it (3242)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21440) - you deserved it (1889)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

#1705
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29816) - you deserved it (1913)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27522) - you deserved it (8853)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I figured I'd throw my ex-boyfriend a compliment and told him how "gifted" he was below the belt. He thinks he's paying me a compliment when he tells me how much he loves that little roll of skin that pops up over the top of my pants when I sit down. I'm trying to lose weight, asshole. FML

#1700
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19879) - you deserved it (6775)

On 01/19/2009 at 4:21am - love - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

#1689
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18584) - you deserved it (2406)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by spoony - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML

#1678
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27154) - you deserved it (11253)

On 01/18/2009 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by gjh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#1665
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21575) - you deserved it (1876)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by GopherJR - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML

#1663
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17705) - you deserved it (2817)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)



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