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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

#1615
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (2238)

On 01/18/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by steveinnewsoh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18801) - you deserved it (36537)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20644) - you deserved it (3113)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

#1555
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20660) - you deserved it (2746)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

#1554
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42073) - you deserved it (2396)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - love - by Wenny - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

#1552
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

#1542
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22020) - you deserved it (1726)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:29am - misc - by dirk855 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

#1541
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18947) - you deserved it (3411)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

#1529
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (7727)

On 01/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by zuut - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received an email from my boss telling me how appreciated I was and how valuable I am to the company. I wish I hadn't scrolled down to read the included conversation where he asked his boss whether to lie to me about how good I was or not. FML

#1527
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17558) - you deserved it (1592)

On 01/17/2009 at 11:00pm - work - by IHateMyJob - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

#1523
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17200) - you deserved it (3070)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by wasted_life - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML

#1517
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21913) - you deserved it (1870)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by biblio - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a toilet cubicle, when I overheard two of my friends at the sink talking about how ugly and skinny I was. FML

#1516
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21790) - you deserved it (1906)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by Youknowwho - Australia (Victoria)



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