Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35288) - you deserved it (7572)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML

#4684
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11177) - you deserved it (20709)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by foo - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

#4679
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7564) - you deserved it (27309)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:45am - misc - by Miko - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

#4648
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6097) - you deserved it (17343)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by anaph0re - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32765) - you deserved it (5149)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

#4601
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29286) - you deserved it (3064)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

#4600
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27665) - you deserved it (3305)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:40am - love - by JLoRd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

#4489
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63464) - you deserved it (5496)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

#4487
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (1401)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by leez - United States (Virginia)

Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML

#4484
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61764) - you deserved it (7266)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:27am - intimacy - by SuperJesus - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I'm 19, I'm at uni, I've never been kissed and the only person I have had a proper conversation with in the past week is my Mum. FML

#4477
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (4748)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:07am - misc - by geewhiz - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18848) - you deserved it (4232)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59032) - you deserved it (2676)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: