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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (53247)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML

#69964
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44158) - you deserved it (3427)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:09pm - kids - by Spotted (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50913) - you deserved it (20836)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML

#69853
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33860) - you deserved it (3306)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107250) - you deserved it (9823)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42596) - you deserved it (6093)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML

#69146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39132) - you deserved it (5335)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35pm - love - by noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML

#69080
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43483) - you deserved it (4156)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by wnrz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was secretly listening to a voicemail from my mom in maths class when I accidentally hit the speaker phone button. My whole math class now knows I have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11. FML

#67507
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12972) - you deserved it (43361)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mother told me that my father once told her that he was glad she wasn't a red head. He wouldn't have married her if she was because he hates red heads. I am his red-headed daughter. FML

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

#67274
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16155) - you deserved it (49587)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:29am - misc - by Thatkid (man) - Singapore

Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

#67236
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41393) - you deserved it (18331)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:15am - love - by Sandra (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56602) - you deserved it (4750)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)



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