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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37538) - you deserved it (29531)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

#3430
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23272) - you deserved it (5726)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

#3426
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27784) - you deserved it (2832)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

#3375
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (7650)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by iFail - United States (California)

Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML

#3360
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18816) - you deserved it (2297)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by K Holed - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

#3333
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8747) - you deserved it (32834)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by Hahaha - United States (California)

Today, I found an ad for my job at my company on an online job board. FML

#3292
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (1682)

On 01/29/2009 at 8:06am - work - by Noname - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral and on his way out I wanted to say something. All I could think of was "have fun". FML

#3269
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7400) - you deserved it (17822)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by jalopenos - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

#3221
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (3247)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

#3203
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5803) - you deserved it (30533)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and I were in a hallway talking while a man kept walking by and turning around. I then asked him "WHAT are you LOOKING for!". It was a blind man. FML

#3202
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5805) - you deserved it (24077)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by wsumt - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18755) - you deserved it (2506)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

#3194
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5878) - you deserved it (21811)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Owned - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)



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