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Today, a man approached my delivery van and asked for change for a $5 bill. I guess I should've expected him to grab the change and run off with the extra money. FML

#21265995
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (4950)

On 09/26/2014 at 7:58pm - money - by lgt5628 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML

#21265944
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (5537)

On 09/26/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by 19collegestudentandpregant - United States (Tennessee)

AnnaDeWitt's comment : The divorce is between your parents. It has nothing to do with you. If your parents are any good they'll help you through it no matter whether they're together or not.

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Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

#21265921
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31820) - you deserved it (2746)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

ruckfules85's comment : Dude. Don't waste no more time with her. Find that ring and kick her to the curb.

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Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32741) - you deserved it (5150)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

domking1315's comment : Man knows what he wants

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Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you deserved it (3182)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

#21265875
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27840) - you deserved it (2272)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30691) - you deserved it (3526)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML

#21265851
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31267) - you deserved it (3105)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by ihateguys (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27891) - you deserved it (5290)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30305) - you deserved it (2800)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, marks yet again another day that I've been asked if I'm autistic. No, that's just my Korean accent. Apparently I look "too white" to have one. FML

#21265402
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (2147)

On 09/25/2014 at 9:15pm - misc - by notautistic - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36872) - you deserved it (3797)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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