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Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25816) - you deserved it (2301)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Xquisite1's comment : Just admit it, you hacked into her Facebook account and you are also responsible for the whole Sony attack. You damn sophisticated hacker OP!

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Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (2780)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Xquisite1's comment : Just tell him that "your" dick loves fucking "his" pussy. Problem solved.

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Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27900) - you deserved it (2490)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)

tipsy2013's comment : You could lose another 130 pounds or so by dumping her as a friend.

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Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (2124)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31138) - you deserved it (2227)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

#21364495
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28905) - you deserved it (2796)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:13am - love - by shoggoth_wild - United States (Mississippi)

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

#21364342
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (4868)

On 02/27/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by milked (woman) - United States

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
154 comments

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29075) - you deserved it (20562)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27571) - you deserved it (2343)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27456) - you deserved it (2570)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

#21364131
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (4694)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm - animals - by jynxisadouchebag - United States (California)

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (11672)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -



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