Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37817) - you deserved it (3388)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31597) - you deserved it (3832)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States
↑ bbbbbbitch's comment : If I was old I would do that.
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38015) - you deserved it (2495)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
↑ DDCA's comment : Talk about being butt hurt.
Today, my little brother gave me a candy bar for my birthday. After I ate the entire thing, he told me it was Ex-Lax and that I needed it because I'm "so full of shit". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37010) - you deserved it (6171)
On 05/17/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by Unlucky Individual - United States (California)
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36960) - you deserved it (2248)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37554) - you deserved it (2895)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33051) - you deserved it (2705)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States
Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30942) - you deserved it (6935)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (3452)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40430) - you deserved it (4195)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34220) - you deserved it (5955)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (13017)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48200) - you deserved it (3734)
On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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↑ rg350dx's comment : "Come on sis! Just let me pierce your vagina! I incest!"
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