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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

OysterPearls's comment : Pretty and mysterious? You're a real catch OP!

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Today, after being a resident DJ at a local club for over 4 years, I got fired. Not because I'm bad at what I do, but because my boss thinks I'm not 'having fun like the other DJs'. And by 'having fun' he means that I don't drink enough. I got fired for not being an alcoholic. FML

#21413333
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (1625)

On 05/20/2015 at 11:56pm - work - by SFBEL - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML

#21413299
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (1671)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:49pm - work - by stilljobless (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

#21413204
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19443) - you deserved it (8428)

On 05/20/2015 at 7:21pm - misc - by BannedfromFriend - United States

gearhead369's comment : And she will never forget you said that either

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Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

#21413067
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20884) - you deserved it (1588)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by farf -

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

#21413064
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23567) - you deserved it (1505)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by kmctl - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

Meepson's comment : Give her the controller and I'll give her 5 minutes before she starts gunning it down the sidewalks...

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Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML

#21413003
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25742) - you deserved it (1832)

On 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Cyprus (Paphos)

Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#21412970
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19588) - you deserved it (17055)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

#21412921
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23724) - you deserved it (11317)

On 05/20/2015 at 8:03am - work - by boss_daughter - United States

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

#21412889
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29965) - you deserved it (2372)

On 05/20/2015 at 4:45am - intimacy - by wtf bro (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23893) - you deserved it (3740)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML

#21412642
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (7541)

On 05/19/2015 at 4:58pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)



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