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Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

#21382684
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27994) - you deserved it (1703)

On 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm - love - by biblepain - United States (Arizona)

AllSoul's comment : Surely they would have believed your girlfriend? Didn't she mention it?

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Today, I discovered that when my mom can't sleep, she comes into my room and reads my text messages. FML

feven's comment : I hope you had a long talk...Talk about invasion of privacy.

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Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

#21382575
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24657) - you deserved it (4310)

On 03/27/2015 at 6:50pm - health - by Bonecrusher (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22079) - you deserved it (4947)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

#21382495
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10140) - you deserved it (33779)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

lolfood's comment : You deserve it for snooping.

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Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

#21382482
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (3912)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:09pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (14582)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (2872)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML

#21382322
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24392) - you deserved it (3363)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:12am - misc - by struckbystarzz (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26730) - you deserved it (3442)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML

Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML

#21382250
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25828) - you deserved it (2326)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:17am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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