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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML

#21303583
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23259) - you deserved it (5721)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by alli67 -

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23564) - you deserved it (1771)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (3748)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30977) - you deserved it (5823)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

WhoopteDo's comment : honestly it works out for you in the end, you got out of a relationship with a pretty shallow girl there, couldn't even be honest with you over the internet.. fyl

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Today, I realized that having an open relationship isn't all that great, when my boyfriend hooked up with his ex and dumped me for her. FML

#21303284
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23139) - you deserved it (14374)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:56am - love - by openended - United States (California)

MrConcise's comment : A relationship is like a circle. When a circle is open, it's not a circle anymore.

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Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (3003)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

thee_most_dope's comment : maybe she meant junk food? or....i really dont know.

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Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27912) - you deserved it (7773)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

#21303116
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26742) - you deserved it (3235)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:11am - work - by TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - United States (California)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28960) - you deserved it (13513)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

#21302935
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (8271)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29203) - you deserved it (2238)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

#21302910
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22998) - you deserved it (4721)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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