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Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

#1625759
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45421) - you deserved it (7137)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:19pm - misc - by JulieKid (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML

#1625692
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59478) - you deserved it (3057)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

#1625172
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48997) - you deserved it (11541)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my boss about her children. She told me she didn’t want them to develop any problems by letting them sleep with the light on. I didn’t tell her last night I slept with the light on because I’m scared of ghosts. FML

#1622822
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17253) - you deserved it (40504)

On 05/04/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by pussy (woman) - Italy

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

#1620980
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40241) - you deserved it (26467)

On 05/04/2009 at 8:37am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma gave me a gift (something she has never done before). I was so excited until I found out it was one of her overdue library books on dolphins. I feel so loved. FML

#1620964
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43797) - you deserved it (2710)

On 05/04/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by hawtpinkpanties (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

#1619469
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56745) - you deserved it (27000)

On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML

#1618603
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11040) - you deserved it (71811)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by kandi (woman) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I went to the eye doctor and they used dilating eye-drops on me. After I left, my vision was still pretty blurry. I walked to the subway and when I went to step onto the train, I missed and my whole left leg got stuck in the gap. The train was delayed 10 minutes because of me. FML

#1617727
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47703) - you deserved it (4747)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by kraussy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98934) - you deserved it (269615)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "everyone poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML

#1616689
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (54894)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:40am - work - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML

#1615706
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12610) - you deserved it (57084)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by CriminalMistake (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I donated blood for the first time, and all the nurses kept complimenting on how good my veins were. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the past 2 months. FML

#1614849
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50081) - you deserved it (3916)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:40am - health - by lsta (woman) - United States (California)



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