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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I flew my wife, myself and three kids to pay a surprise visit to my parents who were going to be alone for Christmas. When we arrived, we found out they decided to go on vacation. We have nowhere to go. FML

#6914646
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12313) - you deserved it (26258)

On 12/24/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by homeless4Christmas (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

#6914184
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (3220)

On 12/24/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Beeh (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

#6911518
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26568) - you deserved it (2317)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Muffinhater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24459) - you deserved it (7236)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of 2 years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#6908981
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (4067)

On 12/23/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by everybodysfool (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML

#6908473
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24588) - you deserved it (5230)

On 12/23/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by rie (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was telling my entire cocktail party about the time I accidentally flashed my volleyball team at a pool party. While trying to demonstrate how it happened, I accidentally pulled my dress down and flashed everyone again. FML

#6904777
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8066) - you deserved it (44005)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML

#6904447
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (3048)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by extraflavour - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML

#6903052
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23500) - you deserved it (2354)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:56pm - misc - by fml_forever32 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12598) - you deserved it (26675)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

#6901032
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (12023)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML

#6900701
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31589) - you deserved it (3296)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by bee (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML

#6900019
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26018) - you deserved it (8590)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:30am - health - by SnowyConcussion (woman) - United States (Maryland)

PaperShreds's comment : Salt it yourself. Would that be so difficult?

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