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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my family and I drove to a mall an hour away. We split up, and I went into a store by myself. A little later, I get a call from my brother asking me where I am. They had already left to go home and didn't notice me missing from the car. They were already halfway home. FML

#1368223
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54498) - you deserved it (2622)

On 04/26/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chippuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after driving a few hours late at night I decided to entertain the car tailgating me by not letting him pass. After doing this for 3miles, reaching 93MPH, I decided to let the car pass me. When I switched lanes, the car tailgating me light up in red and blue. It was a cop. FML

#1363713
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9902) - you deserved it (88001)

On 04/26/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my cousin's communion. We came late and walked to the front of the church where my family was. Everyone stared and laughed but I ignored it. After the service was done my mom came up to me and pulled a long piece of toilet paper out of my skirt. FML

#1358381
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39239) - you deserved it (11681)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by skjjj (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML

#1358380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50382) - you deserved it (9607)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by jimboxo (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was going to propose. Since he was really nervous, he decided to have a couple of drinks to loosen up. He ended up throwing up and passing out before he could get down on one knee. FML

#1358275
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51227) - you deserved it (4367)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

randomsloth's comment : hbahahah omfg thats priceless

See all the comments →

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

#1353969
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70790) - you deserved it (52641)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML

#1353453
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57521) - you deserved it (12174)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by fuckMYlife94321 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

#1351695
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62517) - you deserved it (8804)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML

#1351662
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16986) - you deserved it (40494)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:13am - animals - by alikat (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79314) - you deserved it (4342)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!". I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I don't think I'm fat. FML

#1348524
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56590) - you deserved it (7457)

On 04/26/2009 at 5:47am - misc - by TheRawrza (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and this is how we spent our Saturday night. FML

#1347981
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (58668)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by panicromanceX3 - United States (Arkansas)



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