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Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

#505587
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67775) - you deserved it (10947)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

f_ckerdef_ck's comment : damn, that's a real FML

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Today, my parents saw my report card. Now, they refuse to buy me my the new computer I've always wanted because my grades had 'slipped'. I made honor roll for three terms, and was kept off for the fourth for a single bad grade. I failed gym. FML

#504973
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56647) - you deserved it (36782)

On 03/21/2009 at 2:22am - work - by MollyMo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

#504108
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132411) - you deserved it (4960)

On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49406) - you deserved it (598278)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

WowLifeDoesSuck's comment : Wow, kids are getting smarter.

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Today, I started Lifeguard Training and we had the fitness test you had to pass to continue. I work out everyday and I start on our football team. It's spring break and i've worked everyday (construction). I'm fit. Time comes to take the test, I finished last, beat by a 44 year old woman. FML

Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML

#502307
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14903) - you deserved it (57070)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

mudkipsan's comment : So you've been fingered but are still waiting for your first kiss? Don't fall asleep on the city bus again.

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Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

#500940
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61293) - you deserved it (9098)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my town had a carnival to raise money for cancer. I ran a kissing booth, when a really cute guy came up paid his $20, looked at me, and said "not even for cancer." He took his money and left. FML

#500122
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79031) - you deserved it (7215)

On 03/20/2009 at 10:39pm - love - by cancerfreak (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26326) - you deserved it (103177)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

#495475
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53745) - you deserved it (27943)

On 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by cjj325 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had artfully managed to avoid anyone knowing that I was moving into a trailer park. I showed up at the trailer where all my friends, co-workers, and exes were waiting. My parents knew I was feeling down and wanted to throw me a surprise 'moving in' party. FML

#495382
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56007) - you deserved it (3764)

On 03/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by TrailerTrash (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

#492829
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120418) - you deserved it (6931)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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