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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

#4799049
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33026) - you deserved it (5570)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

#4795795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27296) - you deserved it (6564)

On 08/24/2009 at 9:45pm - work - by Sailorjoe (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was texting pictures from my old phone to my new one, including several dirty ones, when I noticed I wasn't receiving any of them on the new phone. I was texting the wrong number. FML

#4792669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11294) - you deserved it (55574)

On 08/24/2009 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML

#4789258
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42486) - you deserved it (6973)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by NotCuteEnough (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

#4789213
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15090) - you deserved it (53383)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by InTheDoghouse23 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML

#4787214
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52980) - you deserved it (4362)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by embarassed_chick (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, an old lady came to the bank where I worked at to apply for a loan. She obviously didn't qualify for one as she has no income coming in. She looked so pitiful, so I changed a couple of her information so she could. She reported me and I got fired. FML

#4785631
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20139) - you deserved it (52793)

On 08/24/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by NoThanks (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after spending $15,000 to treat my dog's cancer over the past two months, he died of kidney failure. FML

#4784383
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53776) - you deserved it (18203)

On 08/24/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by w-dog (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I corrected my mom in front of our family while she was ragging on my 12 year old cousin who got a piercing. She said, "You don't understand you don't have kids, but on the other hand you probably never will!" I have Polycystic ovary syndrome, she is right, I probably never will. FML

#4783460
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58617) - you deserved it (3196)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:43pm - health - by fannyfitel123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

glassisass's comment : yo mom is a bitch

See all the comments →

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

#4782445
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37651) - you deserved it (4831)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and trying to make new friends since I'm new at my college. I was running after an overthrown frisbee for a touchdown. Everyone cheered me on to keep going. I ran full speed into a fence. FML

#4781635
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29235) - you deserved it (8328)

On 08/24/2009 at 10:22am - health - by AvengdSevenfold (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

#4781162
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35294) - you deserved it (3738)

On 08/24/2009 at 9:38am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm 'a self-absorbed bitch'. FML

#4780151
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39933) - you deserved it (8375)

On 08/24/2009 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Constanta)



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