Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

#3776929
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52758) - you deserved it (4916)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by mook (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17280) - you deserved it (38722)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

#3772317
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44425) - you deserved it (3077)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:02pm - money - by nsJ (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to see a movie. After getting my seat, I went out to get food. Coming back, I saw the security guard. Thinking he would ask me for my ticket, I moved all the food to one hand to get the ticket in my pocket. I spilled it all. He didn't ask to see it. FML

#3772243
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29622) - you deserved it (15097)

On 07/15/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML

#3770832
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33103) - you deserved it (4680)

On 07/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by FML (woman) - Syrian Arab Republic (Dimashq)

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

#3769867
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43280) - you deserved it (8184)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I found out I'm balding faster than my dad. I'm 19. FML

#3768794
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51671) - you deserved it (2735)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old adopted daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She had had a nightmare, and I read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

#3768718
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61970) - you deserved it (2835)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:02am - kids - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I forgot my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML

#3767718
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41750) - you deserved it (5573)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML

#3767592
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48408) - you deserved it (5407)

On 07/15/2009 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML

#3764935
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47594) - you deserved it (2956)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:04am - love - by wtf (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

#3763600
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13247) - you deserved it (61079)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML

#3763023
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54412) - you deserved it (13081)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:01am - love - by Stuck (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: