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MaximumRide's comment : Get a new family.

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Today I went out drinking wit my friends. At te end of te nigt I got a cab ride ome. I must ave passd out because wen I woke up I wasn’t at my place but my parent’s ouse wic is te address on my license…120 miles away. Te fare was $220.

#5223643
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12779) - you deserved it (41594)

On 09/13/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today , I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I was pregnant. His response? "That's neat. But we can still have sex , right?" FML

#5222877
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22463) - you deserved it (4341)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:04am - intimacy - by sunlightchild_14 (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today... mah Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out fir drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

#5222087
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29480) - you deserved it (12841)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:17am - health - by beaten (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today , I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decidd to give the 'non-management' looool employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before mah promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demotd? FML

#5221967
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39119) - you deserved it (2199)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:12am - work - by ofcourse (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I want to a rastaurant with soma friands. I noticad a vary cuta waitrass about my aga, so I walkad ovar to har an askad if sha had a boyfriand. Tha axtramaly fit, attractiva waitar standing naxt to har immadiataly turnad, hald out his hand an goas, "Yaah. Maat ma." FML

#5220953
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30203) - you deserved it (12226)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by footinmouth (man) - United States (Kansas)

today I was fooling around with mah boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in fir a hard romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed mah nose into his cheekbone and mah nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed fir over 2 hours. It's broken and he just laughed. mega FML

#5219756
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38284) - you deserved it (3931)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:26am - love - by broken (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today I went on a blind date with a guyho talked about himself in the 3rd person . Seriously . mega FML

#5219515
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46103) - you deserved it (5879)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a salon. As soon as I walked in, someone ran to me and inspected mah hair and said, "We can fix this." I was there to get mah daughter's hair done. FML

#5218043
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32121) - you deserved it (5771)

On 09/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by badhair (woman) - United States (Florida)

I found out tat girlfriend of almost 6 yeres as puttd me in debt over $33,000. FML

#5217229
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39030) - you deserved it (15808)

On 09/12/2009 at 10:44pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the phone with boyfriend while looking at halloween costume online for this years halloween party and said, ( Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year. ) He said, ( Maybe we should go as a broken up couple, ) and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML

#5217172
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35678) - you deserved it (3423)

On 09/12/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

I accidentally left the tag on the new pants that I wore to work. Nobody had brought it to mah attention fir the whole day until finally, before I was about to go home, every single employee and mah boss let me know by yelling in unison and laughing as I left the building. FML

#5217038
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28734) - you deserved it (7102)

On 09/12/2009 at 10:35pm - work - by Tagged (man) - United States (Illinois)

Yesterday , mah wife an I were doing ithen the phone rang!! looool She answered it , an rode mehile carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father!! FML

#5211678
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25151) - you deserved it (3875)

On 09/12/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by 0ros (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



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