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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49618) - you deserved it (3357)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months told me he was not going to celebrate Valentine's day because it was a "capitalistic consumerism holiday". He works in a bank and helps "capitalism consumerism" 364 days a year. FML

#8043963
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (5042)

On 02/09/2010 at 4:49am - misc - by Brokenheartz - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

#8042799
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30741) - you deserved it (4133)

On 02/09/2010 at 3:19am - kids - by matchristityler (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that the only reason he's with me is because I'm a good tattoo artist and he's too broke to pay for his own tattoos. We've been together for two years. FML

#8042728
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34155) - you deserved it (2969)

On 02/09/2010 at 3:14am - love - by estephi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

#8040620
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31561) - you deserved it (2175)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:40am - health - by utensils123 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to tell me. FML

#8039687
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you deserved it (5505)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML

#8038952
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9964) - you deserved it (33545)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:50am - love - by Unknown (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML

#8038027
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28565) - you deserved it (2933)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by wurtabang - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

#8031607
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (5114)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got called out of class to talk to some cops. Turns out my car was involved in a hit and run accident, while I was in school and there was no possible way it could have been me. But since they have no one else, it's my fault. FML

#8031380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34027) - you deserved it (2117)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:29pm - misc - by sweeeeet (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend of six months dumped me for his girlfriend on Grand Theft Auto because he was "tired of having to please two women at once." FML

#8026904
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32628) - you deserved it (3872)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sitting on the wooden edge of my coffee table watching my sister's boyfriend play Halo 2, when I leaned back to stretch and shattered the center pane of glass in the table. I now have a large gash in my ass. FML

#8021702
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8851) - you deserved it (24128)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by Kaganate (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

#8021510
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39790) - you deserved it (2858)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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