Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

#8364969
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26587) - you deserved it (3335)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)

Today, I went to my hair dresser to get my haircut. When she asked me what I wanted, I told her "the usual". She confused me with another customer and gave me a mullet. FML

#8364767
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14506) - you deserved it (31183)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - misc - by Craig (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

#8364770
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41705) - you deserved it (4174)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

#8361510
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41882) - you deserved it (3562)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were waiting for the bus. The weather had been cold and snowy recently, and I realized I'd forgotten my transit card. She nonetheless got on the bus without me. I had to walk it alone in the snow. FML

#8361360
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22665) - you deserved it (8686)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:03am - love - by kippis05 - United States (Maryland)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33570) - you deserved it (2541)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in the theatre watching a movie. I leaned my head back to relax. Suddenly, I hear this sneeze behind me and then I feel "rain" pouring down on my face. FML

#8350664
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (2673)

On 02/16/2010 at 8:30pm - misc - by misspriss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found my company car wrecked in a ditch. Apparently, leaving it parked on an icy hill all night was a bad idea. I have to pick up my manager from the airport. FML

#8350634
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8189) - you deserved it (25738)

On 02/16/2010 at 8:29pm - love - by croleymd - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

#8347033
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31216) - you deserved it (2292)

On 02/16/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by blaze (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was pulling a car out of the shop where I work, when I tried to go over a small snow bank to park it. What I didn't realize was the snow had turned into solid ice, and it broke the front bumper cover. It's going to cost $1000 to fix it and I also had to call the owner. FML

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

#8341933
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29770) - you deserved it (5812)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned the reason they say don't keep your phone in high humidity places. I left my phone on the counter when I went to take a shower. It now won't turn on due to water damage and the warranty doesn't cover it. FML

#8341883
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6580) - you deserved it (34383)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:46pm - misc - by boo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

#8340004
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12668) - you deserved it (24396)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm - love - by soomeone - United States (California)



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