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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

#8586322
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32881) - you deserved it (6517)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:28am - love - by kal (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, it appears that my upstairs neighbour has decided to learn how to play the trombone. FML

#8585714
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26097) - you deserved it (2774)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was making schnitzel at our kitchen so I had to get rid of all the oil. So I decided it would be best to put the hot pan on our porch so the oil would cool down and then I could get rid of it. Unfortunately the ground is sealed with tar, so the tar melted and now the pan is stuck to the ground. FML

#8583652
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8679) - you deserved it (29018)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:54am - health - by peterpan (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

#8583578
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (7789)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:51am - misc - by medik - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML

#8582830
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21467) - you deserved it (3045)

On 02/23/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by Cromwel620 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

#8581671
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6636) - you deserved it (66014)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would have run that one over." Thanks. FML

#8580880
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23964) - you deserved it (2541)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by thetallone (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I went to move my girlfriend's car. I failed to notice that the snow packed under the front bumper is actually ice. After a bit of struggle I managed to move the car. The bumper, however, is now a separate entity. FML

#8580764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (6505)

On 02/23/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Good_old_Grim (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

#8578589
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (10277)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by itsawonderfulife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

#8576368
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30856) - you deserved it (5812)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

immafiremylaser's comment : Why were you not put off by the initial fact that your boss was giving you a massage? And how did you find out? Did his friends tell you? Do you speak Greek, OP?

See all the comments →

Today, I went to Uni. I woke up at six and got to the station as the train was leaving. I was congratulating myself on my brilliant skill when, as we passed the carpark, I saw I had left my headlights on. It later cost more for the lead to jump start my car than it would have to drive to Uni myself. FML

#8580387
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18006) - you deserved it (6575)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by car_FAILure (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34758) - you deserved it (3410)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)



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