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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after months of searching I finally got a job interview. Too bad I didn't have enough money to buy a bus ticket to get there. FML

#8612009
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28509) - you deserved it (4068)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

#8611992
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28745) - you deserved it (2419)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by Greymoya (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

#8611277
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30924) - you deserved it (3059)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9065) - you deserved it (64202)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

#8607847
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33790) - you deserved it (1936)

On 02/24/2010 at 1:29am - work - by argh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML

#8606978
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12449) - you deserved it (32031)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by kiki (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33311) - you deserved it (2020)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

#8606116
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21852) - you deserved it (2924)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:19am - work - by synn - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

#8605732
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (4285)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:05am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (3417)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML

#8602827
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10597) - you deserved it (24739)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

#8598142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24718) - you deserved it (3123)

On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML

#8597104
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21652) - you deserved it (4318)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:56pm - health - by Stress (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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