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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML

#8606978
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12449) - you deserved it (32029)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by kiki (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33311) - you deserved it (2020)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

#8606116
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21852) - you deserved it (2924)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:19am - work - by synn - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

#8605732
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20096) - you deserved it (4284)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:05am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (3417)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML

#8602827
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10598) - you deserved it (24736)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

#8598142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML

#8597104
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21655) - you deserved it (4318)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:56pm - health - by Stress (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

#8592124
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14995) - you deserved it (43443)

On 02/23/2010 at 5:10pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML

#8590845
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42828) - you deserved it (6473)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Pip (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got off from work and noticed that the weather finally warmed up after the recent snowstorm. I hopped into my car and rolled down the windows. When I opened the sun roof, a foot of snow came falling into my car. FML

#8590514
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6863) - you deserved it (43808)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Chris Altenbach - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

#8590174
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37781) - you deserved it (3147)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:36pm - misc - by Kay (woman) - United Kingdom



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