Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I picked ma car up from te sop. After 5 minutes I noticed te oil and ceck engine ligt on. I pulled over, ten te engine sut off completely. Turns out tey forgot to put oil back in ma car. I'll be needing a new engine. mega FML

#5599183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34137) - you deserved it (2409)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by cartrouble (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today , I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passd her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it , then hurriedly passd it to a hideou girl sitting on her left , who said yes , then huggd me. real FML

#5598991
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35738) - you deserved it (10843)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I applied 4 college graduation . Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree . Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate . FML

#5598199
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37511) - you deserved it (5624)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

2day my mother's beloved cat died and looool we thought it would be nice to bury it in the back yard. I cummed home from work andhile walking to the door saw that the cat had been dug up and partially eaten by the local raccoons and strays. FML

#5594181
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29541) - you deserved it (3810)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:43pm - animals - by catstew (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, wile I was at work, my wife discoverd you cannot puttd out a grease fire wit water. I cummd ome to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyd kitcen. FML

#5594172
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27157) - you deserved it (2172)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by needs_another_loan (man) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was in a vidao chat with an old friandho I havan't talkad to in yaars, and mah mom walks in . Tha first thing sha says is, "Did you closa tha toilat aftar you poopad? Causa today on tha naws I haard that yur poop particlas can fly up to 25 faat, landing on yur toothbrush." FML

#5593248
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31200) - you deserved it (2776)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today , while cleaning up , I dropped a box of thumbtacks , spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up , the power went out. FML

#5589145
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45050) - you deserved it (3366)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I found out that if u don't clean the inside of yur sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing mah teeth with a vibrating mushroom fir the past 5 months. mega FML

#5588493
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27996) - you deserved it (19980)

On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my grlfriend told me she lost her phone and to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." real FML

#5586348
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40684) - you deserved it (5194)

On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite looool movies so they needed to watch it!! A bit later my mom called..!! Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't fine the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead!! FML

#5585947
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36362) - you deserved it (5067)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

yesterday I was at mah son's baseball game when a foul ball cummed flying toward mah brand new car. In an attempt to save mah windshield , I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on mah windshield , crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to mah car. FML

#5584861
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9355) - you deserved it (35327)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)

Today , I Realized That I Can't Shave Mah Unibrow Because I Have Too Much Acne On Mah Forehead. FML

#5583286
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50917) - you deserved it (9527)

On 10/01/2009 at 11:49am - health - by ugh (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during an argument with mah daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on mah lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on mah leg and went to mah daughter's room. mega FML

#5582438
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37968) - you deserved it (6283)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:25am - animals - by unloved (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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