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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

#7175057
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26251) - you deserved it (4217)

On 01/06/2010 at 12:53am - love - by drunkdial - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

#7174533
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27623) - you deserved it (3038)

On 01/06/2010 at 12:24am - love - by lug_nut (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML

#7174150
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6829) - you deserved it (23074)

On 01/06/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25458) - you deserved it (4043)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

#7169187
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30500) - you deserved it (3757)

On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML

#7167765
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30020) - you deserved it (2416)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:02pm - money - by Arsinoe (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37564) - you deserved it (13261)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my ex looked at me for the first time in months. I felt like I could fly. Seconds later my flight ended. I fell down the stairs. FML

#7164896
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (11928)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by katiekat (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

#7164815
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8000) - you deserved it (33381)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

#7163475
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24048) - you deserved it (6225)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:58pm - misc - by SplashOuch (woman) - United States

Today, I had a promo code for a free Redbox movie. Since I knew exactly which movie I wanted, I parked in a handicapped space because it was super close and I was cold. I didn't think anyone would notice, but apparently the cop that parked beside my car did. My free movie cost me $100. FML

#7163163
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6161) - you deserved it (72959)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:28pm - money - by handi-crap (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a phone call from the local utilities company, telling me in essence: "We regret to inform you that your meter was switched, and we have been billing you for an unoccupied unit for the past 15 months. You owe us $1123.28. We apologize for any inconvenience." FML



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