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Today, a patient was late for a psychiatry appointment, after having missed his previous two. I am the medical student on the team that was supposed to do his assessment. I said, "You snooze, you lose." Everyone stopped and looked at me. Apparently, he missed them because he has narcolepsy. FML

#4433335
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13458) - you deserved it (44162)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:48pm - health - by psychedout (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22365) - you deserved it (62727)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I came home early from business trip in Paris, I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of 2 years out and propose to her. I sneak into my house as a surprise and she's having it off with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

#4431065
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56254) - you deserved it (3579)

On 08/10/2009 at 4:47pm - love - by theboy6494 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you". He broke up with me on speaker. FML

#4430564
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45507) - you deserved it (14453)

On 08/10/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We start going at it and we were both butt naked when I see a car pull into the lot. Not only is it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asks my girlfriend is "Are you being held against your will?" FML

#4429167
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40804) - you deserved it (12429)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by kmf - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after selling their car, my parents decided to inform me that my car (that I paid for myself) is now going to be the "Family Car". They also informed me that since it is, after all, my car, I'll still have to pay for the gas and maintenance. FML

#4429159
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80890) - you deserved it (4121)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:05pm - misc - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

#4428551
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8881) - you deserved it (67687)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by hitandrun (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML

#4426639
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8121) - you deserved it (61374)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by picaboo (man) - Singapore

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

#4426507
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63162) - you deserved it (8343)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out I need serious surgery on my right knee to remove a tumor growing underneath it. I will not be able to walk for 3 weeks, and the doctor told me to take off for 5 months from work just for full recovery. My father's response, "You'll do anything not to work." FML

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

#4425556
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12119) - you deserved it (50489)

On 08/10/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by klutz (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75717) - you deserved it (6557)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML

#4421070
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (3034)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Ghana (Volta)



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