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Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML

#4147298
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37148) - you deserved it (3975)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm - misc - by arsenic660 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19004) - you deserved it (46913)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML

#4142743
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11340) - you deserved it (68548)

On 07/29/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was short shifted at work because one of my employee's decided not to show up. Furious, I wrote her up and made predetermined judgments about her. When she came in, I went off on her for being absent and leaving me stuck. She then informed me her mom tried to commit suicide. FML

#4142083
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10152) - you deserved it (54839)

On 07/29/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by Toast514 - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

#4137553
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50977) - you deserved it (21045)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML

#4137470
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54809) - you deserved it (2812)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by allocomrade (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML

#4136342
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75005) - you deserved it (3552)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm - love - by imscrewed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

#4133351
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60989) - you deserved it (6519)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML

#4133060
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50563) - you deserved it (2266)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

#4131905
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45021) - you deserved it (3708)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to buy lunch at a grocery store. The total was 3 pounds, and my card got rejected for insufficient funds. I fished about for change, and found I only had 2 pounds. A homeless man behind me in the queue then offered to give me the remaining pound. A homeless man paid my lunch. FML

#4131254
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40861) - you deserved it (14758)

On 07/29/2009 at 10:24am - money - by faentalivetmitt (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

#4127495
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16209) - you deserved it (46660)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

#4126370
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51855) - you deserved it (2572)

On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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