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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, when I walkd up to mah car, all mah windows were smashd !! Thankfully, all I keep in mah car is jumper cables, a pen, mah car insurance an manual !! Whoever smashd mah windows apparently was pissd, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k u an yur f**king station wagon" !! FML

#6315391
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28837) - you deserved it (2264)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at work, when this guy came in and paid 4 his ice cream, then handed me a dollar. I've never gotten a tip before, so I looked at him and said, ( Thank you so much, I appreciate it. ) He stared at me with a werd look 4 a moment, and then said, ( Can I just get that in quarters? )

#6313806
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26409) - you deserved it (4976)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:04pm - money - by notip (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to looool mah apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into mah window. FML

#6313521
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (1675)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by theropod (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I Woke Up With A Bloody Nose And Mah Lamp Next To Me In Bed!! Apparently I Grabbed The Cord Of The Lamp And Yankedhile I Was Sleeping, And It Fell On Mah Face!! The Worst Part? My Boyfriend Saw It Was Going To Happen, But Didn't Stop Me Because He Thought It Would Be Funny To "see Mah Reaction." FML

#6313431
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (2988)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by oww - United States (Connecticut)

Today, mah ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends !! He putted mah name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be mah new name !! FML

#6312971
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7319) - you deserved it (38116)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by firefliiez (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, wile my grlfriend was going down on me, se looked up at me an said, in a ig-pitced voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

#6312781
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11041) - you deserved it (20072)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by loldick (man) - United States (Missouri)

2day I was really depressed so I talked on the phone with my best friend. She was telling me how a guy she really liked complimented her. I told her it was be nice to get at least one compliment. After a long silence she says, "You're really good with computers." FML

#6312385
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26240) - you deserved it (5163)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Ugh (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today... I sent a Facebook friend request to the guyho had the party I was at last night. I immediately realizd... however... that my new profile picture is of me... smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML

#6312169
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4887) - you deserved it (65537)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Klepto (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

yesterday I wasn't feeling too well!! I decidd to bring my laptop wit me to te batroom, because I figurd I would be in tere for a wile!! Tings were going great, until I felt a burp coming!! Next ting I know, my computer is coverd wit puke!! FML

#6311289
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9933) - you deserved it (34369)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after dating 4 almost five years, boyfriend statd that I have a "perfect an amazing personality" but that looks are not wat he "envisiond himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML

#6310965
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35110) - you deserved it (3552)

On 11/15/2009 at 9:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today I Was Having Trouble Blowing Out The Last Of The Several Candle On My Bedside Table . Exasperated, I Blew As Hard As I Could, Which Sent Hot Wax From The Other Candle Shooting Into The Air, All Over My Face And Into My Eyes . FML

#6310101
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20591) - you deserved it (11022)

On 11/15/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by shiiiiit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

yesterday a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get looool wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly cummed home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. mega FML

#6309981
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44621) - you deserved it (5693)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today... I went to go see mah boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to fine him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML

#6309781
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41370) - you deserved it (2881)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:51am - love - by irishbitch (woman) -



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